When good things make you sad... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

2stop · 08-18-2003, 07:05 PM

For my entire life I have experienced a strange sadness when events in my life starting looking more favorable, when really good things started happening....I can feel this depression and mixed sadness edging it's way into my soul again, it seems unshakable, but I want to learn what really triggers it and maybe prevent it in the future...any one experience similar?

Juls · 08-19-2003, 12:14 AM

I have had similar experiences 2stop. I believe it was because I did not believe that good things should happen to me, and I didn't believe they could last, so I would start feeling sad and sorry for myself in advance so to speak.

However, we, you, do deserve good things happening to us. You work hard on yourself 2stop. Try to give yourself positive feedback. Tell yourself good things about yourself. If you can't think of any, I can name some for you.

Juls

Lilya · 08-19-2003, 06:57 AM

This is very common, Tammie. It happens to me all the time. I prepare myself now to be depressed when good things happen to me. At first I´m numb, then sad and it takes about 3-5 weeks to feel better.

I try yoga and positive self-talk. I try to tell myself I deserve it, but the negative voice in my head has pre-programmed me and it takes all I can do to just accept my sadness. But it passes, and this I know.

When I worked in the mental hospitals as a student, some people were hospitalized because they had won lotery tickets, a huge amount. They had been struggling all their life and all of a sudden they could do what they liked. I thought this so bizarre, but the doctor explained to me it´s a big stress factor to get good things in your life, especially if you´re vulnerable and have been struggling. On the stress scale over here, it accounts for 20% (divorce being 80%) and I´m talking normal people, not bi-polaire.

Quote:

Use adversity

2stop · 08-19-2003, 07:17 AM

Thanks Juls and Lilya, I can always count on ya all to understand..Yes, that negative voice in our head..thinks it can just take free-range and spoil everything!! Well, I've had about had it with that voice and I am determined to find a way to send it packin'

I do yoga...a little, I just cannnot concentrate much yet, but I am getting there...this whole withdrawal from all the drugs has just rearranged everything that I feel and it is quite an adjustment, but I can honestly say now I have hope...what a beautiful gift of recovery Hope is!!!~

I have been seriously thinking about taking some martial arts classes, I found one the other day on the net called gi gong(sp?) very intriguing. It stated also that the most basic and simple moves of this art could be the most lethal...and how it can help heal the mind, body and spirit. After getting moved I think I'll check into some classes, I think it would not only give me confidence again, but help in overcoming those dastardly negative voices that distract me!!

Lilya · 08-19-2003, 04:57 PM

Chi Kong is great! Good for you. You are taught how to tame the negative thoughts by time-tested Oriental wisdom.

I will be taking Kung Fu lessons and my Oriental dance this winter. No more Miss Workaholic!

Quote:

Use adversity

Juls · 08-20-2003, 12:00 AM

I don't what has changed in me, but over the past several months I have become much more calmer and peaceful. That negative voice in my head has quieted.

I don't see my problems as problems any more, but just things I have to deal with. It used to be that I would feel so overwhelmed by everything. Just getting through the day was a challenge.

Whatever it is, I am grateful to have it.

Juls

ButterflyChaser · 08-25-2003, 10:17 AM

just like Juls, I felt the same way, in a sense, I would start to believe that Good things won't last for me! Like I didn't deserve it or something....awww I'm crying now, cause I'm starting to really believe that I am worth any good thing that comes my way!!!!!
Love you guys, ya'll are my inspiration, you really are!

08-18-2003, 07:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,669	When good things make you sad... For my entire life I have experienced a strange sadness when events in my life starting looking more favorable, when really good things started happening....I can feel this depression and mixed sadness edging it's way into my soul again, it seems unshakable, but I want to learn what really triggers it and maybe prevent it in the future...any one experience similar? __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

08-19-2003, 12:14 AM	#2 (permalink)
Juls Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: California, USA Posts: 1,101	I have had similar experiences 2stop. I believe it was because I did not believe that good things should happen to me, and I didn't believe they could last, so I would start feeling sad and sorry for myself in advance so to speak. However, we, you, do deserve good things happening to us. You work hard on yourself 2stop. Try to give yourself positive feedback. Tell yourself good things about yourself. If you can't think of any, I can name some for you. Juls __________________ Think World Peace

08-19-2003, 07:17 AM	#4 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,669	Thanks Juls and Lilya, I can always count on ya all to understand..Yes, that negative voice in our head..thinks it can just take free-range and spoil everything!! Well, I've had about had it with that voice and I am determined to find a way to send it packin' I do yoga...a little, I just cannnot concentrate much yet, but I am getting there...this whole withdrawal from all the drugs has just rearranged everything that I feel and it is quite an adjustment, but I can honestly say now I have hope...what a beautiful gift of recovery Hope is!!!~ I have been seriously thinking about taking some martial arts classes, I found one the other day on the net called gi gong(sp?) very intriguing. It stated also that the most basic and simple moves of this art could be the most lethal...and how it can help heal the mind, body and spirit. After getting moved I think I'll check into some classes, I think it would not only give me confidence again, but help in overcoming those dastardly negative voices that distract me!! __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

08-20-2003, 12:00 AM	#6 (permalink)
Juls Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: California, USA Posts: 1,101	I don't what has changed in me, but over the past several months I have become much more calmer and peaceful. That negative voice in my head has quieted. I don't see my problems as problems any more, but just things I have to deal with. It used to be that I would feel so overwhelmed by everything. Just getting through the day was a challenge. Whatever it is, I am grateful to have it. Juls __________________ Think World Peace

08-25-2003, 10:17 AM	#7 (permalink)
ButterflyChaser Meow! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow Posts: 1,022	just like Juls, I felt the same way, in a sense, I would start to believe that Good things won't last for me! Like I didn't deserve it or something....awww I'm crying now, cause I'm starting to really believe that I am worth any good thing that comes my way!!!!! Love you guys, ya'll are my inspiration, you really are! __________________ "If a Child feels Safe, Wanted & Loved, You are a Successful Parent!" ~~"A relationship is like sand in your hand. If held loosely in the palm of your hand it stays there, but as soon as you close your hand tightly it slips through your fingers!!~~

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