What is normal?

[scott]

normal: whenever i feel "comfortable" in my own skin.

[Bamboozle]

Good thread, Comatoast!


I don't think anyone is normal.



I see "normal" as an ideal. My ideal would be:

-be and remain sober
-have satisfaction of life
-my mind not get in the way of me living my life the way I want to--to not be afraid--to be comfortable as myself in every way and truly not care what others think

[freya]

"It is hardly a sign of good mental health to be well-adjusted (i.e. "normal") in a sick society." -- J. Krishnamurti

...and, my own ideas from an earlier thread entitled "Just say 'No' to 'Normal'":

Well, I've been seeing the word "normal" thrown around this site so much lately that it's beginning to get a little scary. Therefore, I think it's time for me to come clean about something here: my recovery has absolutely nothing to do with my wanting or trying to become "normal."

In fact, I have to say that I hate the word "normal;" I hate the ideas behind the word "normal;" I hate the apparent motivations behind the use of the word "normal;" I hate the way I've seen the desire for "normal" f*ck up some pretty good recoveries.

As it's commonly used, the word "normal" can mean either "healthy" or "common/typical/average"...but, it is often implicitly and dangerously used to mean both of those things at the same time (i.e as when someone in recovery says that he "is not like 'normal' people," or "I want to date a 'normal' person"). And that is a total mindf*ck because, as far as I can tell, those two meanings are, in actual lived-experience, utterly and absolutely contradictory.

The reality is that, unfortunately, what is "normal," in the sense of common, and/or average, and/or typical in this world is far, far from what is "normal" in the sense of healthy. And, based on what I see in those seriously-committed-to-recovery people I know, the the more "normal" (healthy) people become through working their recoveries, the less "normal" (typical/average/common) they are....
.....and, personally, I find that to be a good and admirable thing.....

....because when I think about what is typical/average/common in the world around me I think about all the dysfunction, all the lying, all the denial, all the fear, all the hatred, all the shame, all the spiritual isolation, etc...etc....etc...basically, all of the insanity that we see glamorized and sensationalized and conveniently packaged for our enter-and-info-tainment all day, everyday in our "normal" culture....

....and none of THAT has anything to do with MY recovery (nor is it in any way conducive to my being or becoming healthy in any way) -- other than insofar as it is what makes recovery necessary in the first place.

I feel like I can say with a fair amount of certainty that my HP doesn't make "normal;" My HP makes unique and special and individual and different...and my recovery is about discovering, honoring and realizing everything that HP has made me; I have no intention of diminishing myself or insulting my HP by settling for or trying to conform to "normal."

freya

[Freedom1990]

"Normal is the cycle on a washing machine." ~Naomi Judd

I really loved what Freya said:

I feel like I can say with a fair amount of certainty that my HP doesn't make "normal;" My HP makes unique and special and individual and different...and my recovery is about discovering, honoring and realizing everything that HP has made me; I have no intention of diminishing myself or insulting my HP by settling for or trying to conform to "normal."

[jurneyman]

I am not sure how this would equate in mental health, but if defining normal and alcoholism it doesn't matter if still active, or in recovery, just doing what an alcoholic does, is what
being normal is for an alcoholic, anything else wouldn't be normal.

[nandm]

Originally Posted by Freedom1990

"Normal is the cycle on a washing machine." ~Naomi Judd

I love this, it definately defines my thoughts on normal. Thanks

[Bamboozle]

Hey, what happened? Comatoast started this thread...I'm fairly sure...so...where did Comatoast go?


?

[historyteach]

Yea,
The washing maching setting.
That's my answer too.

Is this a poll?

Do what's right for you.
That's about as good as it gets.

Shalom!

[Freedom1990]

I told my daughter if we ever got another female cat, we're naming her Abby...Abby Normal!

I embrace life and who I am, the good, the bad, and the ugly!

That's why I liked what Freya said about each of us being unique in our own way.

I'm a recovering addict/alkie, I have mental health issues that I actively seek help for outside the halls of 12 step meetings, I'm a mother, daughter, sister, aged college student, lover of animals, former freelance writer for a biker magazine! I like strawberry Twizzlers, buttered popcorn, lasagna, manicotti, and German chocolate cake, baby. I'm tattooed, pierced, goofy, prone to snorting like a pig if I laugh too hard, and I'm graceful as a bull in a china shop. How's that for 'normal'?!

[mle-sober]

Can't normal incorporate variety and the unique possibilities in all of us?

I defintitely have a status that is normal. I shoot for that all the time. It doesn't mean I am attempting to repeal the things about me that are interesting and special. It just means I am trying to take responsibility for my mental health and wellbeing. Normal, for me, means balanced.

As a bipolar alcoholic with PTSD, my life has swung wildly and erractically. I thought I was original. Really, I was just deeply, deeply sick. Now, I dare to be normal. I love the stability and the strength that I have built through medications, therapy, and sobriety. I thank God every day for normalcy.