I don't get why I feel so bad mentally.

[Paulos]

I dunno what to do anymore. I know "average" people don't feel this bad with things all the time, average like me can bring yourself up if you have things you like... I have things I love, a great life, a fine family, HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW WHY MY BRAIN IS DOING THIS TO ME... Zoloft 50mg should be helping... I don't get it, DARN IT >:o...

[ANGELINA243]

I wish you felt better Paulos .....have you been taking this medication or is it new?

[Angelic17]

Paulos, sounds like the depression gene. Fight it with everything you have. Don't give in to it. For some people happiness is a choice, and for others, we have to work at it. Hang in there Paulos, and know that we love and need you here at SR. Talk to your doctor, and see if he might be able to change your meds, and find something that might work a little better for you. In the meanwhile I hope these guys cheer you up.

[Astro]

Paulos, I've mentioned this before, it's an inspiration to me that you've been coming to SR continuously since Jan. 07 in an effort to find answers and support in your recovery. Don't ever give up!

Maybe I'm average, I dunno but I highly doubt it. I agree with Angelic, sometimes I have to work really hard at my happiness and not give in until I've found it. Other times I needed the help of doctors and medication. Sometimes it's as easy as taking a walk and soaking up some sunshine, and there was also a time when I needed to check out of my normal life and into a hospital until I got the answers I needed.

Hard work, constant work, but it's worth the effort.

[Jrock75]

I've felt exactly the same before.. asking God "why me?" Begging God to let me be better tommorrow. I don't know what anyone can say to make you feel better. But just know it'll pass,atleast it does with me. Sometimes I gotta ride out one hell of a storm though. Just keep on reminding yourself of the good things you have.

[Paulos]

Banana men : )...

[Rob B]

What are you doing differently these days Paul? Nothing changes if nothing changes, I am sorry you are hurting, the silver lining is that pain can be a fine motivator, it always has been for me. I believe there is more to life than what you are currently experiencing waiting for you. I hope you access it.

[mamabin]

I came here because of the way I'm feeling today. Heading down into depression is horrible. It's a pain others don't understand. Going for a walk doesn't do it, in fact sometimes it's impossible. I guess it depends on your level of depression, but mine can be crippling. I'm on meds, but still, I have to feel like this till they adjust something and it works. And the more I try to pull myself out, the more it snowballs.

[Astro]

Originally Posted by mamabin

It's a pain others don't understand. Going for a walk doesn't do it, in fact sometimes it's impossible. I guess it depends on your level of depression, but mine can be crippling.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way mamabin. At times I probably don't understand as much about depression as others. I hope to learn more through these forums. In 2005 I was diagnosed as "depressed, having suicidal ideations" as a result of alcoholism. I tried quite a few different meds and adjustments to dosages before something finally worked.

For months I'd start my day by forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other, take a shower, brush me teeth, comb my hair, etc. Then I'd sit on the sofa and stare out a window until it was time to pick up my children and go to work. After work I'd force myself to a recovery meeting, go home and stare at the ceiling or sleep, then wake up the next day and do it all over again.

Like Rob B. shared, pain became my motivator. I started forcing myself to do other things. Take a walk, sit outside at a cafe and drink coffee, take my kids to a movie, cook a meal rather than a microwave dinner, ride a bicycle, go to a bookstore. Ever so slowly, it worked, life became bearable again, then enjoyable. That's not to say I don't still struggle at times, but when I do I know what I can try to pull myself back out of the darkness.

[Angelic17]

Hey Paulos, those Banana men made you smile. I sure hope your feeling better today.

[mamabin]

I got myself to work today. I wasn't there 5 minutes and started crying. That's how this is with me. I can't talk or be around people. And my job is to be on the telephone. I was told if I left I would be in trouble because of my absenteeism. Since I need this job, I tried to suck it up. I got through it but I hated it. This disease effects every aspect of my life. I just hate it.

[Paulos]

Sniff... I feel terrible right now all :'(... I feel like I can't tell the truth anymore and that the past 4 months just passed by in a breeze... I don't know why I feel this way ... nice banana.

[Paulos]

:ghug

[Angelic17]

Hey Paulos, Love heals, understanding heals, compassion heals, friendship heals. ((((((((HUGS))))))))) for you Paulos. I sure hope you feel better soon.

[Paulos]

Thanks :| it's another tough morning for me

[historyteach]

Here's hopes for a good day for you...

Shalom!

[Angelic17]

Hey Paulos, sorry your having a bad morning. Sure hope the rest of the day gets better. I'm no stranger to depression. Sometimes it grabs a hold of you, and it wont let go. Try to shake it off with all of your might. Be strong. ((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))) Every day is a new beginning. And just like that the depression will lift like the fog. I'm praying for you Paulos.