Hello

[Emily82]

I just discovered this site today. I have dealt with depression clinically diagnosed since I was 12 but I guess I have probably always had it. I like to believe I have it under control with medication but my alcohol abuse probably weakens any effect my meds have. I have isolated myself from friends and much family over the past 3 years to pay more attention to my addiction and I can't take it anymore. I need to quit or I am going to destroy my life completely. I am sorta new to this blogging thing so I hope I am going about this the right way, just feeling kinda crappy. I'm afraid to drink and I'm afraid not to drink. How does that make sense?

[nandm]

Welcome to SR and our mental health forum!

I too have fought with depression from my early years. I also self medicated with alcohol for 20 some years before I got to the point of knowing that drinking was killing me and hurting all those that cared about me but at the same time I had no idea how to live life without the alcohol. For me the solution was AA. I do take anti-depressants and find they do work much better without the alcohol. It has been almost 8 years (March 13th will be 8) since I stopped drinking. Today my life is completely different than it was that day I decided I could no longer go on living in the insanity I was in. There are many roads to recovery, AA is not the only one. There is a list of recovery programs in the Alcoholism forum that you might find useful. As far as the depression goes, once the alcohol is out of the way the meds may work better for you. If you are not on anti-depressants you might consider talking with your doctor about them. It is important that you be honest with your doctor regarding your alcohol concerns so they can choose the best route of medical treatment.

[TigerLili]

Originally Posted by Emily82

I'm afraid to drink and I'm afraid not to drink. How does that make sense?

Makes sense to me! Alcohol is a depressant and will just make worse any problems you may already have with depression. Quitting booze will help you in every way. I have been prescribed ADs quite a few times but they didn't help that much in the long run.

Have you posted on the newcomers alcoholism forum?

You're in the right place. I'm glad you're here.

[lunarise]

Welcome Emily!
I am so glad that you're here. To answer your question ..

I'm afraid to drink and I'm afraid not to drink. How does that make sense?

Yes..to me it makes sense...I felt that way 7 weeks ago..the day I quit, and well a lot of days before that. My advice...find a support system to help you navigate quitting and getting healthy...AA is an option ..there are also secular programs out there if you do a little research. It sounds like your hurting, I can promise you that things will dramatically improve without the alcohol! I know the fear...but honestly all my fears ended up being unfounded. I wish you the best...take care of you...
Peace
Jaclyn