i cut - Page 11 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

soberat23 · 10-07-2009, 09:26 AM

i know how you feel.... ive only told one other person about my cutting. i am also a recovering addict, but when i used drugs, i had this weird obsession with cutting. i have really done it for 18 months, but when i do cut, it always ends up with me having to ge stitches. i just sit there and tear into the same spot until its very deep and very bloody. i want to thank you for talking about this as this is hard for me to admit or even talk about. whenever people see these huge scars that needed to be stitched or stapled up, i always have to lie and make up a story due to being ashamed and embarrassed. ive been thinking about it more latley since ive been trying to quit smoking. i just wanted to say that i know how it is. hang in there

ClayTheScribe · 10-07-2009, 11:34 AM

Help, cutting won't make your problems go away, no matter how many times or how deep you cut. For me, it only made my problems worse. I think you know that by now but you don't want to face it. You're young and you have to understand that problems will come and go in life, that you'll experience tragedies and illnesses, and that hurting yourself is not a healthy way to cope. It pains me every time you say you've cut and it's hurting those close to you whether they know it or not because they don't want you to go through this. Next time you feel like cutting, for us, try to do something loving and nurturing to yourself instead. You'll find that urge to cut passes like the breeze. If I can stop self-injuring, so can you, and I know you want to stop.

Be kind to yourself.

helpwanted101 · 10-08-2009, 07:26 PM

but it lets me breathe

ClayTheScribe · 10-08-2009, 09:29 PM

Cutting won't bring you the happiness or lasting peace of mind you seek, otherwise I'd still be doing it. Cutting, whatever rationale you give for it, is a sign of low self-esteem and low self-worth which will only continue to bring you unhappiness. I'm a living example of that. It does not cultivate lasting happiness. And eventually you'll run out of places to cut where people can't see, then you'll have people giving you weird looks all the time. It's a dangerous road of self-destruction you're on that will only get worse. You don't want to end your life before you've even given it a chance. Life is hard, but it could be worse. You have a family and friends who love you who don't want you to hurt yourself and who would be hurt if they found out. Think about them the next time you feel like cutting.

Please take care of yourself. Nurture yourself. We love you here.

kermit · 10-11-2009, 09:11 PM

I wish I had more to say, I have told you so much already and it doesn't seem to help. You remind me so much of myself when I was growing up... the pain, hurting, cutting(they didn't call it that when I was a kid, but I did it) I also starved my self because I tought it would be a good way to kill myself, (now I'm FAT and can't lose the wieght, but I'm happy)
It took MANY years and tears for me to learn to "like me"
All I ever wanted was attention, love ect.. so I did things to harm my self so people would listen take notice anything. I told many lies, hurt many people, did ALOT of drugs so many things I am not proud of,
BUT... I'm 39 years old and although things are still tough I have learned to lean on friends, family, allanon, and SR for the help Ineed.
Just know from my heart that I know how you feel, I wish I could make it better for you, but you are the only one who can
Love you,
Kermmie

ClayTheScribe · 11-11-2009, 07:34 PM

Helpwanted101 has given me permission to post for her here. She says she has really busy with band, but that she's doing fine. She seems to be in good spirits. I've encouraged her to post on here, so hopefully she will when she gets some time.

**Astro** · 11-11-2009, 09:12 PM

Your timing is perfect Clay, I was just wondering about her today. Thank you for the update, please tell her we said hello.

helpwanted101 · 11-14-2009, 07:54 PM

band is over,...... sorry been buzy

GotItFirstTime · 11-16-2009, 12:22 PM

One of the reason we cut is that we feel we are not being heard. The reasoning behind cutting, choking and gagging is that we want to communicate our pain but cannot. The perception is, no one is hearing me so I must scream louder & louder(cut or choke). Communication is possible but if we have preconceived notions that our problem is sicken or beyond help then we can still claim no one is listening to our pain.(professionals) In our lives, somewhere between 10-12 years old we were fractured. Something happen and we became two personalities. We want those two to be one again but to much trash stands in the way. Communicating that to someone who will listen takes trust, trust comes from non-sexual intimantcy. Without that we can never communicate everything we want to to the persons we speak to. IN-to-myself-I-see - Intimancy seems impossible for most of us. How can we be lovable?

helpwanted101 · 11-27-2009, 05:59 PM

i know y i cut... won't be on for a while

**Astro** · 11-27-2009, 06:43 PM

help, I hope this holiday season brings some peace to your life. Everyone deserves it.

helpwanted101 · 12-20-2009, 07:02 PM

back....

**Astro** · 12-20-2009, 07:36 PM

Hey! It is good to see you back. Keep coming back. Stay for awhile.

ClayTheScribe · 12-23-2009, 09:55 PM

helpwanted101 wanted me to tell you she's fine and she will be out of town until Tuesday.

**Astro** · 12-23-2009, 10:16 PM

Thank you Clay. Happy holidays to you!

helpwanted101 · 12-28-2009, 05:43 PM

i am back in town!

**Astro** · 12-28-2009, 07:16 PM

Welcome back, good to hear from you again. How's everything going in your life?

helpwanted101 · 12-29-2009, 04:20 PM

i wanted clay to post this but he said i should....i desided to stop cutting but i need your help b/c i don't want to start again

**Astro** · 12-29-2009, 04:24 PM

That's a great decision to make. We can help by supporting you but nobody else can do it for you. You've gotta take action and do the work, posting about it here is a good start. Have you thought about counseling or group support meetings, anything like that?

ClayTheScribe · 12-29-2009, 04:28 PM

helpwanted101, you should go look at the Self-Injury sticky under the Mental Health board and use the suggestions there for alternative coping mechanisms for when things go bad.

helpwanted101 · 12-29-2009, 05:36 PM

ya

helpwanted101 · 02-19-2010, 02:07 PM

sorry it has been a while.....been really good. stopped cutting for now at least

**Astro** · 02-19-2010, 02:13 PM

I agree, that's great, hope you keep doing whatever it is that's working for you. Check in when you can, we always like to hear from you.

helpwanted101 · 03-27-2010, 06:41 PM

my computer crashed

pinkgurl87 · 03-28-2010, 08:11 PM

Hugs I used to cut I haven't for months but I know how hard it is to stop but it can be done. Get rid of what you cut with. If you cut with razors get rid of your razors and get an electric razor or battery powered one , that's what I have. Get rid of your knife, only keep sharp stuff you absolutely need.

10-07-2009, 11:34 AM	#252 (permalink)
ClayTheScribe Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Colorado Posts: 616 Blog Entries: 1	Help, cutting won't make your problems go away, no matter how many times or how deep you cut. For me, it only made my problems worse. I think you know that by now but you don't want to face it. You're young and you have to understand that problems will come and go in life, that you'll experience tragedies and illnesses, and that hurting yourself is not a healthy way to cope. It pains me every time you say you've cut and it's hurting those close to you whether they know it or not because they don't want you to go through this. Next time you feel like cutting, for us, try to do something loving and nurturing to yourself instead. You'll find that urge to cut passes like the breeze. If I can stop self-injuring, so can you, and I know you want to stop. Be kind to yourself. __________________ “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury

10-08-2009, 09:29 PM	#254 (permalink)
ClayTheScribe Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Colorado Posts: 616 Blog Entries: 1	Cutting won't bring you the happiness or lasting peace of mind you seek, otherwise I'd still be doing it. Cutting, whatever rationale you give for it, is a sign of low self-esteem and low self-worth which will only continue to bring you unhappiness. I'm a living example of that. It does not cultivate lasting happiness. And eventually you'll run out of places to cut where people can't see, then you'll have people giving you weird looks all the time. It's a dangerous road of self-destruction you're on that will only get worse. You don't want to end your life before you've even given it a chance. Life is hard, but it could be worse. You have a family and friends who love you who don't want you to hurt yourself and who would be hurt if they found out. Think about them the next time you feel like cutting. Please take care of yourself. Nurture yourself. We love you here. __________________ “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury

11-11-2009, 07:34 PM	#256 (permalink)
ClayTheScribe Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Colorado Posts: 616 Blog Entries: 1	Helpwanted101 has given me permission to post for her here. She says she has really busy with band, but that she's doing fine. She seems to be in good spirits. I've encouraged her to post on here, so hopefully she will when she gets some time. __________________ “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury

11-11-2009, 09:12 PM	#257 (permalink)
Astro Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family! Posts: 11,839	Your timing is perfect Clay, I was just wondering about her today. Thank you for the update, please tell her we said hello. __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

11-27-2009, 06:43 PM	#261 (permalink)
Astro Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family! Posts: 11,839	help, I hope this holiday season brings some peace to your life. Everyone deserves it. __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

10-07-2009, 09:26 AM	#251 (permalink)
soberat23 Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: anaheim ca Posts: 80	i know how you feel.... ive only told one other person about my cutting. i am also a recovering addict, but when i used drugs, i had this weird obsession with cutting. i have really done it for 18 months, but when i do cut, it always ends up with me having to ge stitches. i just sit there and tear into the same spot until its very deep and very bloody. i want to thank you for talking about this as this is hard for me to admit or even talk about. whenever people see these huge scars that needed to be stitched or stapled up, i always have to lie and make up a story due to being ashamed and embarrassed. ive been thinking about it more latley since ive been trying to quit smoking. i just wanted to say that i know how it is. hang in there

10-08-2009, 07:26 PM	#253 (permalink)
helpwanted101 drop dead gorgeous Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: jackson Tennessee Posts: 147	but it lets me breathe

10-11-2009, 09:11 PM	#255 (permalink)
kermit When Pigs Fly Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: california Posts: 894	I wish I had more to say, I have told you so much already and it doesn't seem to help. You remind me so much of myself when I was growing up... the pain, hurting, cutting(they didn't call it that when I was a kid, but I did it) I also starved my self because I tought it would be a good way to kill myself, (now I'm FAT and can't lose the wieght, but I'm happy) It took MANY years and tears for me to learn to "like me" All I ever wanted was attention, love ect.. so I did things to harm my self so people would listen take notice anything. I told many lies, hurt many people, did ALOT of drugs so many things I am not proud of, BUT... I'm 39 years old and although things are still tough I have learned to lean on friends, family, allanon, and SR for the help Ineed. Just know from my heart that I know how you feel, I wish I could make it better for you, but you are the only one who can Love you, Kermmie

11-14-2009, 07:54 PM	#258 (permalink)
helpwanted101 drop dead gorgeous Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: jackson Tennessee Posts: 147	band is over,...... sorry been buzy

11-16-2009, 12:22 PM	#259 (permalink)
GotItFirstTime Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Dumas Texas Posts: 35	One of the reason we cut is that we feel we are not being heard. The reasoning behind cutting, choking and gagging is that we want to communicate our pain but cannot. The perception is, no one is hearing me so I must scream louder & louder(cut or choke). Communication is possible but if we have preconceived notions that our problem is sicken or beyond help then we can still claim no one is listening to our pain.(professionals) In our lives, somewhere between 10-12 years old we were fractured. Something happen and we became two personalities. We want those two to be one again but to much trash stands in the way. Communicating that to someone who will listen takes trust, trust comes from non-sexual intimantcy. Without that we can never communicate everything we want to to the persons we speak to. IN-to-myself-I-see - Intimancy seems impossible for most of us. How can we be lovable?

11-27-2009, 05:59 PM	#260 (permalink)
helpwanted101 drop dead gorgeous Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: jackson Tennessee Posts: 147	i know y i cut... won't be on for a while

12-20-2009, 07:02 PM	#262 (permalink)
helpwanted101 drop dead gorgeous Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: jackson Tennessee Posts: 147	back....

12-20-2009, 07:36 PM	#263 (permalink)
Astro Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family! Posts: 11,839	Hey! It is good to see you back. Keep coming back. Stay for awhile. __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

12-23-2009, 09:55 PM	#264 (permalink)
ClayTheScribe Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Colorado Posts: 616 Blog Entries: 1	helpwanted101 wanted me to tell you she's fine and she will be out of town until Tuesday. __________________ “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury

12-23-2009, 10:16 PM	#265 (permalink)
Astro Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family! Posts: 11,839	Thank you Clay. Happy holidays to you! __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

12-28-2009, 05:43 PM	#266 (permalink)
helpwanted101 drop dead gorgeous Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: jackson Tennessee Posts: 147	i am back in town!

12-28-2009, 07:16 PM	#267 (permalink)
Astro Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family! Posts: 11,839	Welcome back, good to hear from you again. How's everything going in your life? __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

12-29-2009, 04:20 PM	#268 (permalink)
helpwanted101 drop dead gorgeous Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: jackson Tennessee Posts: 147	i wanted clay to post this but he said i should....i desided to stop cutting but i need your help b/c i don't want to start again

12-29-2009, 04:24 PM	#269 (permalink)
Astro Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family! Posts: 11,839	That's a great decision to make. We can help by supporting you but nobody else can do it for you. You've gotta take action and do the work, posting about it here is a good start. Have you thought about counseling or group support meetings, anything like that? __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

12-29-2009, 04:28 PM	#270 (permalink)
ClayTheScribe Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Colorado Posts: 616 Blog Entries: 1	helpwanted101, you should go look at the Self-Injury sticky under the Mental Health board and use the suggestions there for alternative coping mechanisms for when things go bad. __________________ “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury

12-29-2009, 05:36 PM	#271 (permalink)
helpwanted101 drop dead gorgeous Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: jackson Tennessee Posts: 147	ya

02-19-2010, 02:07 PM	#272 (permalink)
helpwanted101 drop dead gorgeous Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: jackson Tennessee Posts: 147	sorry it has been a while.....been really good. stopped cutting for now at least

02-19-2010, 02:13 PM	#273 (permalink)
Astro Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family! Posts: 11,839	I agree, that's great, hope you keep doing whatever it is that's working for you. Check in when you can, we always like to hear from you. __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

03-27-2010, 06:41 PM	#274 (permalink)
helpwanted101 drop dead gorgeous Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: jackson Tennessee Posts: 147	my computer crashed

03-28-2010, 08:11 PM	#275 (permalink)
pinkgurl87 Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Guelph, Ontario Posts: 558 Blog Entries: 10	Hugs I used to cut I haven't for months but I know how hard it is to stop but it can be done. Get rid of what you cut with. If you cut with razors get rid of your razors and get an electric razor or battery powered one , that's what I have. Get rid of your knife, only keep sharp stuff you absolutely need.

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