Do I belong here? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sndbtwnmi2z · 08-08-2003, 09:52 PM

Hi...not so sure where I belong...I have been Dx codependent, depressed, with complex migraines, and likely MS in the last month. I have been thru an intensive outpatient program and a codependant class and am suppose to be moved into a long term therapy group. I am currently seeing a therapist individually and a psych. for meds. I have been attending Alanon meetings per the psych. and am still being shuffled around w/neurologists for the likely MS. I am at the end - or what I thought was the end of a 26-almost 27 year marriage to an alcoholic... untill I came up with all of the medical problems. No marketable skills due to being a homemaker and raising 6 kids and homeschooling them. the oldest is 26 the youngest is 9. I have my 24 year old daughter home with her 8 month old, an 18 year old son, a 16 year old and the 9 year old son at home still and my daughter just started working so I have her son too. I had started working so she could stay with her baby ...then my life began falling apart. I have been told by social security that I don't qualify for benifits because I did not acure enough "points". Now being left destitute doesn't sound so good to me so I haven't made a move to leave my husband... The story goes on - but I'm sure you get the gist LOL Any words of wisdom? :bojo:

phoenix · 08-08-2003, 10:17 PM

Welcome to Sober Recovery

Sounds like you have your hands full.You've found a great place for support,encouragement and understanding.We have several good forums in addition to this one,including Al Anon and Women in Recovery.Feel free to check out the whole site,and jump in anywhere you like.If you have any questions,don't hesitate to ask.Take care,and let us know how you're doing.

Hugs
phoenix

08-08-2003, 10:52 PM

Hi sndbtwnmi2z,

Social Security turns everyone down the first time and usually 3 times. After that you can get an attorney that handles social security cases and they should be able to get it for you. Don't settle for their first decision.

Hugs,
MG

Juls · 08-09-2003, 08:19 PM

Snd,

Welcome to the forum, and I think you do belong here. First of all I want to tell you how impressed I am by the fact that you have raised and homeschooled six children. I have a 26 y/o son, who is on his own, and a six year old daughter who I can barely keep up with. I have thought about home schooling her, but I know I do not have the patience.

The fact that you are involved in therapy is to be commended. You are not just sitting around letting life happen to you. The situation in your marriage is not an uncommon one. You are not alone in that struggle. Whether it keeps going or ends you will survive.

Please let us know how we can be of help to you. I have heard what MG said about getting SS. It can take awhile.

Keep posting and let us know how your doing.

Juls

sndbtwnmi2z · 08-10-2003, 12:13 PM

Hi all,
Thanks for the warm welcome!
The hardest part is realizing how long it took me to get to this 'place' and that it will likely take a considerable amount of time to get back. In therapy they keep telling me that I have only scratched the surface - be patient. The one thing that keeps coming home to me over and over is how very ill I am...I knew things were bad when I found myself trying to find ways to commit suicide. That was when I went to my doc for help. But...and...I had no idea if it was helping or if I was still suicidal...then, during one of the classes I was in the therapist brought up some issues that provoked a response of just wanting to die. I was shocked! I had no idea! So here I am in a two week lapse till my next app. and I can see myself regress into old behaviors. They've told me not to drive due to the ify health issues so I am pretty isolated 40 minutes from civilization. (I live on the north coast in the redwoods, about 3 miles from the coast - all but heaven). It's not that I mind being out here, but...I can't attend alanon meetings and I get very lonely. My husband prefers I stay secluded - less intervention from the outside is easier on him. Have to run, baby is crying! : )

08-08-2003, 09:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
sndbtwnmi2z Paused Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: CA Posts: 12	Do I belong here? Hi...not so sure where I belong...I have been Dx codependent, depressed, with complex migraines, and likely MS in the last month. I have been thru an intensive outpatient program and a codependant class and am suppose to be moved into a long term therapy group. I am currently seeing a therapist individually and a psych. for meds. I have been attending Alanon meetings per the psych. and am still being shuffled around w/neurologists for the likely MS. I am at the end - or what I thought was the end of a 26-almost 27 year marriage to an alcoholic... untill I came up with all of the medical problems. No marketable skills due to being a homemaker and raising 6 kids and homeschooling them. the oldest is 26 the youngest is 9. I have my 24 year old daughter home with her 8 month old, an 18 year old son, a 16 year old and the 9 year old son at home still and my daughter just started working so I have her son too. I had started working so she could stay with her baby ...then my life began falling apart. I have been told by social security that I don't qualify for benifits because I did not acure enough "points". Now being left destitute doesn't sound so good to me so I haven't made a move to leave my husband... The story goes on - but I'm sure you get the gist LOL Any words of wisdom? :bojo:

08-09-2003, 08:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
Juls Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: California, USA Posts: 1,101	Snd, Welcome to the forum, and I think you do belong here. First of all I want to tell you how impressed I am by the fact that you have raised and homeschooled six children. I have a 26 y/o son, who is on his own, and a six year old daughter who I can barely keep up with. I have thought about home schooling her, but I know I do not have the patience. The fact that you are involved in therapy is to be commended. You are not just sitting around letting life happen to you. The situation in your marriage is not an uncommon one. You are not alone in that struggle. Whether it keeps going or ends you will survive. Please let us know how we can be of help to you. I have heard what MG said about getting SS. It can take awhile. Keep posting and let us know how your doing. Juls __________________ Think World Peace

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08-08-2003, 10:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
phoenix Paused Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Dreaming Summer Posts: 807	Welcome to Sober Recovery Sounds like you have your hands full.You've found a great place for support,encouragement and understanding.We have several good forums in addition to this one,including Al Anon and Women in Recovery.Feel free to check out the whole site,and jump in anywhere you like.If you have any questions,don't hesitate to ask.Take care,and let us know how you're doing. Hugs phoenix

08-08-2003, 10:52 PM	#3 (permalink)
Morning Glory Guest Posts: n/a	Hi sndbtwnmi2z, Social Security turns everyone down the first time and usually 3 times. After that you can get an attorney that handles social security cases and they should be able to get it for you. Don't settle for their first decision. Hugs, MG

08-10-2003, 12:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
sndbtwnmi2z Paused Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: CA Posts: 12	Hi all, Thanks for the warm welcome! The hardest part is realizing how long it took me to get to this 'place' and that it will likely take a considerable amount of time to get back. In therapy they keep telling me that I have only scratched the surface - be patient. The one thing that keeps coming home to me over and over is how very ill I am...I knew things were bad when I found myself trying to find ways to commit suicide. That was when I went to my doc for help. But...and...I had no idea if it was helping or if I was still suicidal...then, during one of the classes I was in the therapist brought up some issues that provoked a response of just wanting to die. I was shocked! I had no idea! So here I am in a two week lapse till my next app. and I can see myself regress into old behaviors. They've told me not to drive due to the ify health issues so I am pretty isolated 40 minutes from civilization. (I live on the north coast in the redwoods, about 3 miles from the coast - all but heaven). It's not that I mind being out here, but...I can't attend alanon meetings and I get very lonely. My husband prefers I stay secluded - less intervention from the outside is easier on him. Have to run, baby is crying! : )

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