What came first, the chicken or the egg?

[LaDita]

This thursday I start seeing a new counselor through a state mental health clinic (fourth counselor in four years). I'm really crossing my fingers she and I will work out and last this time around. I've had many failures in therapy, showing up hung-over every time and not remembering a thing we talked about and thus wasting both our time, or hating the location and flaking out on appointments, or being sucked into trying out some machine that is supposedly supposed to change my brain chemistry instead of dealing with the issues through talking.

I want to be prepared and organized with what I tell my new counselor and not just rattle off all my issues and concerns without any real plan or destination. I am not sure what I say in order of importance, my drinking? My childhood/family stuff? The past five years?
Sometimes the first couple of sessions are the most difficult emotionally, because I bring up alot of stuff that I rarely talk about and I leave the office feeling as though I've been run-over by a car, but in a good way, if that makes sense.

And what I'm really struggling with is bringing up the Alcohol issue. It's not that I'm trying to deny or minimize it, it just has been my experience that some counselors will prioritize that as being the main problem, while I tend to think it's a symptom of a larger problem (as well as being genetically and environmentally pre-disposed to it). I've had telephone screenings with counselors and the minute I mention the Alcohol they go "Oh, well in THAT case..." and switch me over to someone else entirely. So I don't want that to be the major focus as the be-all-end-all of my problems.

Has anyone had this experience with counselors and the alcoholism issue? How do you go about your first session and what worked, didn't work?

Thanks in advance,

LD

[adore79]

Hi there. That is a good question. How about printing out what you typed and showing that to him/her?

One thing that I never fully realized when I was in counseling is how much my therapist wanted feedback from me, he wanted to know if he was helping and if not, how he could change his approach in order to help more. Being completely honest with a therpist is really the only way to get things done, but you probably already know that.

Just remember, she wants to help you just as much as you want help.

[Isaiah]

Yes, in fact a lot of what you said sounded very familiar.

My latest re-entry into therapy started with the usual screening questions about family history, drinking, job stability, etc. The alcohol issue was big when I first started, but after a month or two we sort of switched over to what turned out to be a more pressing issue (I was hospitalized for a while.)

Since then alcohol has rarely been brought up. I've been working on coping mechanisms for several weeks now. Though I managed to curb my drinking I still have problems that I deal with negatively--as I did for years with drinking.

I've been looking into it as all being a network though. The only reason I have not been drinking is probably that I've been doing other harmful things in its place. As I'm working through solutions to better deal with my emotional disorder I'm finding the need to drink is lessened. Equally, when I was focusing on my alcoholism it made clear the problems that I was trying to drink away.

I myself didn't do this when I stepped into the office, but in hindsight I feel I could recommend it: you should have a talk with them upfront about where you want things to go. You ought to be entitled to direct your own therapy. They might recommend you talk about this or that, but even then they should tell you exactly why they think it's important.

Also bear in mind that they are probably using a formula to figure out where best to begin with you. The whole cookie-cutter nature of therapy is hard to deal with when you're in it, but surely there are reasons. And while I'm much, much better at giving that advice than taking it myself... I don't know... something else for us to think about. Forgive them their errors and assume that they're doing their best.

Hope it goes well for you,

Isaiah