My impatience... everything is so hard.

[Paulos]

I can't focus... I can't try new things ... this is so hard... is it sobriety and my autism improving that like... I'm noticing things that I never did but I can't handle them? I don't know what to do I'm so overwhelmed it feels horrible.

[Astro]

Have you talked to a doctor about this Paulos?

Focusing on doing anything, that was a tough one for me in early sobriety. I couldn't read a whole paragraph, I couldn't focus on following a recipe so I ate frozen meals, I didn't have the patience to set up a telescope and look at the stars.

So I laid in bed and looked at the ceiling or slept. It was probably the worst time of my life, but looking back it was an important part of my recovery process. I had to re-learn how to do everything I loved.

I forced myself to ride a bike and get some fresh air, I pushed myself to read a book one page at a time, I made silly foods like french bread pizzas and my kids loved it!

Slowly I learned to handle everything that I used to do, and then I was able to try new things. But I got to that point by taking action and trying again and again until I was comfortable.

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling, and hope that as your recovery continues you'll overcome these things.

[Paulos]

I never LEARNED in the first place though... I'm autistic/retarded. I push myself every day, and a dr I have a therapist and will be having ANOTHER shrink soon but I've pretty much STUMPED them, even they have said it like It's a hard case they say, jeez.

[Morning Glory]

Paulos,

Try not be so hard on yourself. I think you are doing a wonderful job overcoming obstacles with your disability.

I have a really bad brain with my PTSD and I am so foggy sometimes I can't function. I have to take breaks when everything turns into a blur. I process information the hard and long way around and it can be exhausting for me at times. My brain never turns off.

I live with depression every day. I struggle to do the normal tasks. What I try to do is the next right thing. I always just ask myself "what's next?" and then I try to do it. If I think about everything I have to do I get so overwhelmed I can't do any of it.

I know your situation is different than mine, but I think you are doing really well.

Hugs,
MG

[Freedom1990]

Paulos, I don't know if this will help or not, but early in my recovery, I was so in my head all the time that when I was isolated, all I could think about was what I couldn't do, and not the little things I could do.

The more I thought about what I couldn't do, the more it magnified those things, and I got terribly frustrated.

That's why it was so important for me to get out of the house, go to meetings and interact with other people to get out of my own head.

Just my thoughts on on the the subject.

[Eleison]

I can understand feeling overwhelmed by new things. It's taking off the restraints that 'protected' you, but also kept you prisoner.
Take things one step at a time. And be as gentle with yourself as you can.

[splendra]

(((Paulos))))

I can't think of anyone here that I admire more than you. I am amazed at how you share and I think you are more aware than a lot of people. You have over come so much. I think people with your condition process things in a very different way than most folks. You are going thru your process it is unique to who you are.

Give yourself a break you don't have to process every thing at once. Maybe you could just pick one thing to focus on.

[Astro]

Originally Posted by Paulos

I never LEARNED in the first place though... I'm autistic/retarded.

You do amazingly well my friend. You're still reaching out for support and answers. That's learning, and remaining teachable.

[deerwalk]

Hi Paulos. I thought you might like this. I just saw it yesterday and gave me a little hope... Needle Sized Art

And, try not to be so hard on yourself, you don't deserve that.