Psycotic thinking or not?

[candystripper]

I've never posted her before and and I want to spill my guts.

Yet I'm afraid of the answers!! My paranoia is sorta of the charts or I'm just having trouble accepting reality. I need strait answers and no words under the table or rhyming to say thing that aren't really being said.

Honest yes's and no's.

I'm too afraid to ask the professionals because my mistrust of them is what I'm having trouble with. Really scary stuff!!! Horror movie stuff!

[historyteach]

Hi, Candystripper!
And welcome to the MH forum of SR!

What is it that you'd like straight answers about?
There's lots of good people here.
We'd like to get to know you.

Shalom!

[candystripper]

You sure you want to here them? Their pretty intense? It's hard 4 me because they either become more real or they sound absolutely ridiculous !! Yet I still have trouble believing they are not real no matter how much people reassure me!

[historyteach]

Candystripper,

We're here to offer our support; our experience, strength and hope to each other.
We are not professionals, though.

Of course you can share whatever is necessary here. We care.

Shalom!

[jurneyman]

CS, I was just telling someone here about my Auditory Hallucinations of repetitive musical patterns, that can go on for 24 Hrs. a day. Try and explain this to someone who doesn't have a clue, that it is not the same as getting a song in your head for a short period of time. Even though I might not be able to help you with your situation, I might be able to understand what you are going through, and by being able to talk about it, that also might help a little bit.

[candystripper]

Well, I was going to give the long draw out version but the post browser did a weirdo! Down to the basics - Thought 1. that the mental health system is going to amputate my legs so i'll do better at college.

Thought 2. that they will do some sort of operation that will change my height, hair eyes, etc....

--These thought have reason to back them up its a long twisted confusing web of ideas that boil down to these thoughts.

So, what do you think am i completly irrational and paranoid or is their some crazy things happening in th world

[candystripper]

Ohh, I forgot thanks jurnyman! Unfortunatlly for identifying with your Auditory Hallucinations I can't, I don't have them! My symptoms are more crazy thought (i think) and wicked mood swings!!!

[historyteach]

Well, Candystripper,
The mood swings tips me off to the idea that you *may* suffer from bipolar disorder.
I am *no* doctor, however. You must be diagnosed by a physicial.
But, that type of thinking can be associated with bipolar disorder.

Here are some links that you may find helpful.
Bipolar II, Mood Swings without Mania; Brain Tours; Stress and Depression; Hormones and Mood; and more...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-ny-times.html (Bipolar information from the NY Times)
These two are my favorites. But, you can find much information here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html (Research and information)

Take a look around. Let us know if anything strikes a cord with you.

Are you seeing a doctor?
Have you been diagnosed with anything?
Are you on any medications?
Are you using drugs or alcohol to self medicate or in excess?
All of these things can make a difference in our cognition.

I hope something I've suggested can help you start the process of healing. It's one day at a time, but, it begins with each of us being willing to take that first step. And we're here with you and for you.

Shalom!

[candystripper]

jureyman,
You Got me curious I don't know much about Auditory hallucination? I've allways thought it was only left to hearing voices. yet I did a smidge of reading and their was something that caught my eye i'm not sure if i'm spelling it right psudo-auditory hallucinations (well something like that) and i wonder.

When I communicate with people verbally I usually hear everything they say yet sometimes i't seams like there talking in code meaning something other than what they say. Rhyming or saying the opposite. Hinting at things that they could easilly say strait up but don't know if it's a drug game? Confused?

[adore79]

Hi candystripper,

I think it is a great thing that you are questioning these thoughts. Do you see a therapist? If you do, then discuss these things with him/her. Try to think about how likely it is that these things are real or not. I would say from my own experience, that the most important thing to do is to avoid anything that causes stress or anxiety because that will worsen things for you. If you are uncomfortable about talking to a docotor I would definitely talk to someone I trust about these thoughts, a family member, a teacher, friend, etc...

I know that paranoia and thoughts like these can be very scary and I'm sorry you are going through this. Be good to yourself and try to relax as much as you can.

[jurneyman]

Hi CS, The interpretation of your symptoms really should be discussed with a qualified
Professional. I was not inferring that you were having auditory hallucinations, what I was trying to do, was show you that there are others here who are also dealing with complex mental problems, and that hopefully you would be comfortable disclosing what you are dealing with.

All that I am able to do is tell you what I have personally experienced.The rhyming for me was one of the symptoms of hypomania a lessor form then the manic in Bi-Polar I. Auditory Hallucinations associated with Bi-Polar in my situation are coming from my own mind, not from anything that I see or hear externally, like the examples that you described in your post.

Sorry I couldn't be more help. Please don't give up, keep searching, there are many avenues to try, it took me a long time to find what was causing my difficulties, I also hope that you check out some of the references that History Teach referred to at the top of the forum page, and being the weekend give this site more time to allow others a chance to read what you have written, they might have more experience dealing with external, rather then internal, which is all that I know about.

[candystripper]

Thanks felly, you gave me a good feelling of hope to think about. When i signed on I was quite distressed!!!

[Vintersemestre]

I sometimes have rather disconcerting and elaborate homicidal fantasies, but my religion has taught me how to deal with thoughts. I'm having them less and less. This may sound too simple, but have you tried writing out the thoughts that bother you on a piece of paper? I did this once and read over it and just laughed at how ridiculous they were. I think it's because once they were put into a tangible form, they could be properly analyzed and subsequently dismissed.

[candystripper]

Vintersemstre,
I try that all the time. The funny thing is your right they do sound completely ridiculous. Yet they always have a way of returning and they extend into a reality that I never Quite know if it's logically real. I wish reading the ridiculous words on paper would prevent them from coming back but they always seam too and in full force unfortunately!

[adore79]

Originally Posted by candystripper

Thanks felly, you gave me a good feelling of hope to think about. When i signed on I was quite distressed!!!

No problem, I'm glad I could help I read your profile page and noticed that you are diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, so am I. I havent had symptoms for a few months thanks to meds.