BP Town -- Open to anyone who rides the rollar coaster Pt III

[historyteach]

Here's Part III of our Bi Polar Town thread!
Wow, and what a ride it's been!

Ya know, I miss the stories we use to tell about the picnics around the pond, and the gardens and the flowers...

What stories are there to tell now? The seasons have changed, but, every season has its stories, yes?

Carry on, BP Townies!

Shalom!

[OXFORD]

Nothing feels too different. A little tiredness, that's been the common feeling all day and I've been sleeping on and off since 5am, it's now 9pm.

[Live]

Stay with me here, Oxford, okay?

Please acknowledge.

[Live]

Did you get my last pm?

[Live]

We have never bs'ed each other...have you been drinking?

[Live]

Oxford has logged out. I hope he hasn't passed out unconsious or run from help.
He is one of my buddies!

[OXFORD]

I went to lie down for a few minutes, sorry.

[OXFORD]

there seem to be more cop cars, they don't appear to be going anywhere and I'm starting to feel better.

[historyteach]

Thanks for letting us know you're ok, Oxford.
It's good to hear!

Shalom!

[unholy_mess]

Hate to interrupt (hope all is well Oxford!), but I have a question...I've heard a lot about mood charts...do any of you find them helpful? And why?

[historyteach]

Hi, unholy mess,
Many people find mood charts helpful.
What you'll find is that there may be specific times of the month that your moods swing. So, there may be hormonal imbalances, for example. Your meds will be noted, and may be regulated as a direct result of the mood chart. It will give you and your doc a clear picture of what's going on.

And if you add food and exercise too your chart, you'll get to see the effects of those on your moods too.

Many people really have benefitted from the mood charts. I hope you try it out.
If you do, please let us know how it goes.

Shalom!

[hippyhippy]

Hi folks,

sorry I am out of the loop a bit again.

Live, I am so sorry you are having such a horrid time with hubs. I must have missed the beginning of this story. I am so so sorry hunny. You are a beautiful kind loving person and you do not deserve to be treated badly.

Nadm, your painting is beautiful. You certainly are talented.

Hi unholy mess. Nice to meet you.

Wow, it is two weeks since I last posted. Sorry folks. I am going through a real tough time just now. At the moment I am taking diazepam to calm anxiety. Finding it really really hard to see light at end of tunnel. I know if I don't buck up soon I will be looking at hospital again. Things have gotten such a mess. Hate how I cannot maintain stability for any length of time. So scared of ruining family christmas.

Love to you all
Hippy
xx

[jurneyman]

Hippy, Maybe a suggestion, Try to just keep a positive mental picture of what you would like Christmas to be for you and your family. The power of that thought just might get you from where you are, to where you would like to be. Good to hear from you. JM

[unholy_mess]

Ooooh...I think I really like the idea of a mood chart! Just had an appointment with the shrink and he, too, thinks it's a good idea. I'm a scientist and we really love our graphs! Will be sure to report back! Thanks, Historyteach!

[hippyhippy]

Thanks,
I am actually feeling better than when I wrote that post. I have consulted a lawyer re my employment situation and found out that they are behaving illegally. I needed a diazepam to do this, but thankful that I did.

Just doing something about this one situation has helped lift the cloud a little.

Hippy
x

[cinderellawkids]

Im glad its helping hippy.
I need to make an appointment soon, things arent right, Im not me and so tired of primary docs saying its normal.
In the meantime Im trying to rest mentally

[OXFORD]

The paramedics came and took me away after they heard what I had done. So I spent 3 days in the hospital having my entire system irrigated, that wasn't the worst. The police arrived to tell me about an outstanding warrant they had from when I didn't show up at court, due to me being too ill to even move that day I couldn't even stand up and I didn't know that court dates aren't the kind of thing you can reschedule. So Thursday night my anxiety was spiraling into a full blown panic attack over the fear of being arrested. Didn't make things any easier on me at the time, I'm still traumatized over being thrown in jail last year due to an extreme fear that my life was being put in danger, this month was the time where the courts set a date for me to appear. The complete array of anxieties over these past 3 days have left me exhausted and feeling kind of frail. Unfortunately it's become obvious that the stress of having to face this crap all over again is likely what led me to making the dumb choice of taking too many pills. I want to move on so much it aches and the stress isn't helping much either, I'm ready but I still feel tied to stuff I have to deal with before I'm finally able to focus on school without the pressure of being held down by past griefs. Still it's remarkable that nothing serious happened to me physically, and I should have dealt with these problems in a more capable state instead of postponing whatever cause I was too afraid of losing my freedom. I'll feel better in a few days, still hating wondering if going through crap like this enough times means I'll lose something vital about my personality, it scares me that I could no longer know how to make those I care about laugh and feel happy.

[historyteach]

Originally Posted by hippyhippy

Thanks,
I am actually feeling better than when I wrote that post. I have consulted a lawyer re my employment situation and found out that they are behaving illegally. I needed a diazepam to do this, but thankful that I did.

Just doing something about this one situation has helped lift the cloud a little.

Hippy
x

Anything new on the employment situation, Hippy?
Please let us know how you're doing.
We care...

Shalom!

[hippyhippy]

Thanks Teach,

I am not doing too well at the mo. Pretty self destructive. Job situation is that I am avoiding anything to do with it. I have no strength for a legal fight nor do I have any for reapplying for posts and attending interviews. Particularly as I have worked in a qualified post for 13 years and they want me to apply for posts with half my salary and sitting at a computer desk all day. They do not value me at all despite the fact I gave them 11 years good service before I got ill.
I have pdoc on monday and common sense is to tell him how much I have slipped but I really really want my drivers license back. If I tell him just how self destructive I have been, he will never agree to me getting my license back.
I have an appointment with an employment adviser on Monday too that my cpn is dragging me along to. Don't know if anything will come of that.I have no desire to go at all.
Thanks for asking. Maybe I will be a bit sharper after seeing pdoc and this blooming employment adviser.
Hippy
xx

[nandm]

Hippy you have been in my thoughts. Thanks for the update. I hope the pd doc can help you out.

[historyteach]

(((Hippy)))

I'm sorry to hear that.
I am surprised that they take your liscense away! What's that about?
That doesn't happen here for mental illness. It can for seizures and other physical illness, though.
I really do hope that your employment issues can be solved. Please continue to let us know.

Shalom!

[hippyhippy]

Thanks both,

am surprised that they take your liscense away! What's that about?

Yeah, it is so unfair. The DVLA, UK's driving authority, can take your license away for mental instability. You don't need to have been a danger at the wheel or had suicidal ideation involving the car. Just simple instability. I had mine revoked for a minimum of 3 months but when I reapply they could easily say "no, wait until 6 months"
How far they take the classification of instability, I do not know. Fair enough, I was unstable when they took it away. I was in hospital. I looked up their information site and it seems they could regard me as unstable for a simple a reason as having medication alterations!
You can appeal their decision but only through the courts which costs a lot of money! They won't tell you specifically why they revoked your license so you wouldn't know what you are fighting! Then when and if you get your license back, it is only for a year at a time for several years! I think it is discrimination but it would take someone with more money than I to take them to task for it.
What really infuriates me is that in UK some of the illnesses people are allowed to drive with is nothing short of crazy!
The other part of it is there must be people like me all over the country who are too worried to tell their pdocs how bad things are for fear of not getting their license back. However, I have decided that I have to tell pdoc as my health has to be more important. Hopefully honesty with pdoc counts as stability!

Anyway, I'll stop rambling! I'll let you know how employment stuff goes as it happens.

Thanks for listening.

Hippy
xx

[historyteach]

Do you have a national association for mental illness in the UK, Hippy?
Here, we have NAMI, which helps fight this type of discrimination. And I do agree with you, that it is discrimination to take your liscense away for mental illness. One has nothing to do with the other! Geezzz, Louise! If so, perhaps you can contact them and ask for assistance about this issue. They might know ways to fight it or ways for you to get your liscense back? Can't hurt to try anyway.

But, I'm very glad that you remain committed to your good health. Being honest with your pdoc is so important in order to get back to feeling like your old self. And that's the goal of your partnership with your doc, afterall.

I agree with you that this honesty should be considered a sign of your stability. Will your doc write a note to the DVLA about this for you? S/he should be just as concerned about this stigma as you are for the very reasons you suggest. Cuz, I would sure as hell be loath to tell the truth if I knew my liscense - my independence - would be taken from me! Now *that's* crazy!

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Shalom!

[historyteach]

Cinder,
How you doing?
Have you made the appointment yet?
What's going on?
Please let us know. We care...

Oxford,
What's up?
How's it going?
Have you had follow up care? I hope so.
Please let us know how you're doing. You know we care about you, too...

Shalom!

[hippyhippy]

I will ask my pdoc tomorrow if he will say that I am stable when the DVLA contact him.
Part of the probelm is that when I was really unwell, I spoke of suicidal ideation, not using the car, but using the car to get me to a particular place. That may have been enough to have my license revoked as this place is only accessible by car.
I am not sure about a national association. There will be something, a body that advises the government.
Hippy
xx