BP Town -- Open to anyone who rides the rollar coaster Pt III

[cinderellawkids]

I find this subject interesting. I have pet reptiles that need light with UVB, it helps synthesize d3, without it they are sluggish and die. At a counselors once direction I try to be in natural sunlight 10 minutes a day. I feel a difference if I am not.

My mother thought I was joking when I out a reptile lamp on her desk where she spends 10 hours a day, but after a few days she was more productive and less aggitated.
I was unable to find research on this, but ahve found that a tanning bed (also uvb) helps and has been studied

[hippyhippy]

I don't suffer from SAD. In fact, I like the winter cos it gives me more excuse to hide away (Mmmmmmmmm, doesn't sound too healthy does it? LOL!)
Yet today, I didn't leave the house and I do feel sluggish and apathetic. Maybe I would have benefitted from some daylight?
Hippy
xx

[historyteach]

I just got some very bad news...
On top of other bad news for last week...

My career counselor told me he was leaving two weeks ago. We were supposed to meet last week, and he cancelled.

Today, I got a letter in the mail from my regular counselor. She's leaving on the 15th. I do not have another appointment set up with her. As we normally set up our appointments at the end of the previous one, I don't know what happened.

But, I'm so upset. I'm losing my two long term supports at the same time! And just as the "dark season" is coming in. And my son had a psychotic break a few weeks ago. She doesn't even know about that. the hospital doped him up with tranquilizers and dumped him out the next morning. No follow up plan; no meds for his bipolar condition; nothing once more. I can't believe she's just sending me a letter! I've known her for 8 years!!!

Anyway, that's all there is. Hope all is well with you folks. Long time no see. :ghug

Shalom!

[Toomutch]

Teach - I am sorry for what you are going through and I pray that you and your son will be okay.

I have a similar situation. I have spent the last 2 months going to IOP, Individual therapy, and was going to be starting bipolar support group on the 7th. I have to abandon it all as with the new year we will have to meet our insurance deductable again. Even though I am feeling fairly stable, and my meds seem to be working, I am terribly afraid to do it on my own.

[PaperDolls]

Hey Teach. It'll get better.

Say the Serenity Prayer to yourself. It helps me anyway ...... sometimes I say it over and over and over.

I believe everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that in my heart. It's all going to work out just like it's supposed to.

Peace and Hugs.

[historyteach]

The Serenity Prayer has gotten me through many a tough times, PD! :>)
Thank you...

TooMuch,
I hear you about insurance!
We're going through a whole transition, and going to court over it. The city tried to change our insurance unilaterally, and without giving us the same coverage as our contract calls for! :thefinger
We went to court and have an injunction against them changing it tomorrow. We are going into binding arbitration. In the meantime, I have a $700 root canal bill cuz my insurance was all used up and I had an abscess that needed to be taken care of, (or I could just --uhh-- die -- from it!) Without having a raise in three years, this hurts!
If we don't get universal insurance soon.....something's got to give!

Good luck to you, TooMuch.

Anyway, I'm disappointed, nonetheless, and a bit worried how I'm going to get through my worst time of the year without my supports.... And thank you both...

Shalom!

[hippyhippy]

Teach,
I am so sorry you are losing your supports like this. It sounds like your counsellor is either leaving unexpectedly or it as been managed badly. I know how much supports like these are depended on.
I am also sorry about your son. It does not sound like things are too easy at the moment.
((((hugs)))to you and all
Hippy
xx

[jurneyman]

HT, You have supported and befriended many of us when we were down, and maybe thinking of giving up. I know how hard it is to sit down and pray for guidance in making up a priority list, taking the most important disaster first, especially when they all seem equally important in our life. To have the Faith to turn the rest over to God, no matter how hard it is to do and just concentrate, and pray for guidance and strength to get through it. The description of being totality overwhelmed seems like it is an understatement when we are buried under problems that we have no control over. If we can focus on just the one problem, That Will Either Effect All The Others with a positive result if it is done, or a negative result if it is not done, and follow it through without deviating from the goal, it then might seem a little more manageable. One problem at a time.

[historyteach]

Thanks, Hippy and Jurney...

I just talked to my ex. I haven't heard from my son since the day before New Years Eve. He was going to call and tell me what time to pick him up at the bus station. He never did. There was a blizzard, with over 9 inches of snow dumped on New Years Eve day; the temperature went to below 0. I've contained my panic thus far by giving it up to G*D and trying to keep busy. But, my throat is just ready to close, and I feel it tight all the time. I even took a xanax, which I haven't done in AGES! Anyway, I spoke to the ex who saw Trevor yesterday. So, he was alive as of yesterday. But, his g/f called repeatedly asking him to call her, so, he was not with her last night. Have no idea. And I just have to let it go, cuz, there is not one thing I can do about any of this.
But, pray.

Thank you for your support and kind words. It's hard, but, it's life as it is.

I am wondering about wether I should call my counselor...should I try to see her once more before she leaves? Who will I get? (I've had some lousey counselors in the past... oy! I hate to have to go through this .... )

Shalom!

[jurneyman]

HT, Try and think positive I have heard that what we think about, is what we get.
what do you have to lose by trying to stay positive about anything right now can't hurt.

[joinedintime]

HT, I'm only over in this section of SR sporadically, but it doesn't take much time here to know that you really do help people. You have good karma (or whatever term you want to use) in the bank. It will come back to you when you need it the most. Remember you have many friends.

[hippyhippy]

Teach,
I hope maybe you have heard from your son now. I can feel your anx. I am rubbish at giving advice re anx as I know how bad I am at taking it. One thing that does help me a little, is acceptance of what little control I have. This used to make me worse (I am a bit of a control freak!) but now it makes me feel....the situation will be the same whether I panic or not.
As to the xanax. If they help you through a tough time, then let them. That is what they are for. I took a diazepam yesterday and I had hoped to never take any more.
Take care of yourself.
(((hugs))
Hippy

[historyteach]

Thanks, Joinedintime, Hippy, Jurneyman and all....

I go back to school today after two weeks. that's good. It will keep my mind occupied and put me back on a schedule. I'm not good without a schedule. LOL!
And doesn't it figure; we had an ice storm early this morning. School is delayed one hour! And tomorrow, I have to have ANOTHER root canal! oy! (Thankfully, my insurance started again on Jan 1, so, I'm ok for this one. Just have to pay for the last one!) But, I'll be out of school tomorrow for that. Then, I can get back into a routine.
Maybe I'll try to see my counselor tomorrow...

I haven't heard from my son. Neither has my ex. He and his g/f left so much stuff here at my house. Tons of clothes. And *all* the children's presents from the holidays! That just makes me so sick...The little girl wanted nothing but Baby Alive, and it's sitting upstairs in my house two weeks after the holiday...

Joinedintime, that was a very nice thing you said about karma. thank you!

I hope everyone else is doing well. Let's hear what's going on in your life. :ghug

Shalom!

[hippyhippy]

Hi there.

glad you are back at work if it makes you feel better Teach.
I am sure you will hear from your son in time. It is hard for you at the moment though, I do understand.

Where is everyone these days? Not seen Live or Nadm for a while. On saying that, I haven't been posting much myself.

I am still not back at work. I have a meeting on Monday to discuss whether they will fire me on the grounds of incapability. Don't know how I feel about it. Scared of the effect it is going to have on me if I am fired.

Pdoc has FINALLY agreed that my body will not accept lamotragine, no matter how slowly we increase it. I got as far as 75mg but he says I need a lot more than that and it is just not going to work. Sooooooooo, I am back on Valproate and Quetiapine. Early days yet. Still up and down like a blooming yo yo! A bit giddy att he moment...which is quite nice! Have pdoc tomorrow and have overwhelming desire to tell him I love him! Not in any sort of attraction type way...just in the way that a hippy like me does love everyone she likes/cares for! Methinks I had best suppress that desire or meds will be increased! LOL!

Love you all!
Hippy
x

[historyteach]

Well, he called me tonight.
And he left a note at my house yesterday. He came while i was at work, and picked up a lot of their stuff they had left behind.
Tonight, he was very depressed. Said he was trying to make the best of things.
He's coming by tomorrow.
At least I know he's ok... Which is good.

Hippy,
I know what you mean about that falling in love stuff with your doc. Don't tell him though! LOL! It's a common reaction, and it's in the medical books that they study. Patients often fall for their docs; particularry pregnant patients! LOL!
So, don't worry about it. It only makes you normal!

Shalom!

[hippyhippy]

So glad you heard from your son Teach and that he is ok. You will be able to breathe a little easier now eh?

I know it is common for patients to fall in love with their docs/therapists! I do it all the time! Seriously!
I didn't tell my pdoc I loved him....I was in a horrid mood yesterday and told him quite the opposite.....that I wished I had never ever been referred to him and thus never met thim!
I am but such a child at times!

Hippy
xx

[historyteach]

Yes, I feel better hearing from him. He's here with me right now. Not for long, but, to get his feet on the ground.

i'm sorry, but, I almost laughed when I heard that you told off your doc! LOL! Nothing like mood swings to keep life action filled, huh?

I think it's good to feel childish at times. We have enough time when we have to be serious and responsible and adult. it's good to let loose and let it go once in a while. Course, it depends upon where and with whom! LOL!

Shalom!

[panduh]

hey guys im new to this forum, and i guess im also a new resident in BP Town, haha.
I'm bi2. And i also have to admit that i love my manic states. makes me feel like im on speed again (fyi speed/alcohol were my poisens).

im glad i found this BP forum.

[historyteach]

Welcome panduh!
I look forward to getting to know you!

Shalom!

[panduh]

thanks teach. and just wondering are your really a teacher? in real life...

[historyteach]

Yup, really a teacher...
And a history teacher to boot!

And you?

Shalom!

[jurneyman]

Panduh, Welcome to the BP thread, I am also learning to deal with BP2, and my drugs of choice for most of my adult life, were also alcohol and speed, and not always in that order, trying to self medicate myself into feeling normal, when no anti-depressant would help.

[panduh]

Originally Posted by historyteach

Yup, really a teacher...
And a history teacher to boot!

And you?

Shalom!

nope im just a student in US history. and my teacher just gave me a 77 in the class and it made me soooooooooooo pissed. but i called up my sponser and then i went for a run. that was my improve of the day (im proud of it).

[panduh]

and jurnyman it sucks trying to self medicate. i must admit that i tried to at first with my amphet.s then they just got out of control. i know we're no s'pose to talk about medical advice but have you gotten a psych. yet? mine put me on mood stabilizers and they seem to be working out pretty well for me.

if u ever need someone to talk to PM me.

[mxchaos]

Thanks history teach for inviting to BP town, Sorry about the counselors. Did you try and reach the one before he left. Are you looking for a new one? I'd never survive if mine left me.