The Support for Healing from Self-Hatred Thread

[Eleison]

It's a challenge, self hatred and self abuse. Dealing out to ourselves what was dealt to us from others *back then*.

Self attack, which can manifest through self harm, but equally emotionally. The emotional barbs we throw at ourselves can be extremely twisted and damaging.

If you're working at overcoming self hatred etc, reach out for support here. Get mutual support and encouragement on your path.

[liveweyerd]

do you have a method in mind or just an open exchange?

Absolutely critical work tho and sometimes very hard, encouragement, support and guidance help alot.

Will think of this for awhile.

[Eleison]

Just an open exchange.

[mattcake79]

I don't really *hate* myself anymore. But I sure consider myself a work in progress. I find that one of the cornerstones to work on this challenge is to examine our self-perceptions. I think one of the ways to achieve this is to clearly define what truly comes from us, and what was "handed" to us as emotional baggage. I've spent the better part of this decade weeding out crap that simply did not belong to me; the list is endless!

[liveweyerd]

I was helped most by a guided method on another forum.
I had been resistant to inner child work for years, but in this format, it did me a world of good.
Will try to look up or remember the method used.

[steamvessel]

I've very much have this problem, although it fluctuates. It's very painful, thank your for this thread.

[liveweyerd]

Basically and put simplistically, I think we must learn to re-parent ourselves with love.

Do you have a photo of yourself as a child, or any of yourself that you like?

I suggest you get them out, frame them and put them near where you "hang" in your home.

[Eleison]

I've several such photos around.

This morning I'm pondering... words more descriptive that self hatred. Shame and distance from myself. That's how it can be. Shut out from myself and life. Which is how it was when I was growing up.

[liveweyerd]

Yes, I grew up in a "Star Trek" home where emotions were irrational. I don't think I knew I had feelings until I was 30 years old!
So, similarly, an important part of me was shut off, and lots of criticism shamed me such that nothing I did was ever good enough.

Do you have a box of crayons or colored pencils?

[liveweyerd]

So, when I first heard of this excercise it sounded too silly to even contemplate...but as a few brave souls shared their "dialogues"...it blew me away.

If you are right handed use your left hand and vice versa if you are left handed. Use the hand you do not use to write with.

Ask your child-self how they are and if they have anything they want to say to you, then let the wrong hand do the writing.

Usually what comes out first is hurt, anger and resentment. But speak to that child with the most loving understanding heart....I think of my precious grandson to help me with that. After awhile you will be able to build a trusting dialogue. ALWAYS be kind to that child. And that you are dealing with a child not an adult. Fill yourself with love towards that child, being a loving, caring, trustworthy parent.


I also read an article in the newspaper today about this and will share it later.

[unholy_mess]

I, too, grew up in a home where emotions and crying were unacceptable and nothing was ever quite good enough. Which, of course, led me to believe that I was just not good enough, period. And I attacked myself for years. Emotionally, physically in every form I could think of.

A therapist once suggested that I blow up a stamp of my fingerprint to a really large size and on it, write all the things that are special and good about me and keep it by my bed, or on the fridge, or my desk, or wherever I could see it each day and add to it.
We never really figured out how to blow up a fingerprint that large, but it's a nice idea! I settled for just writing on the paper around it.