spending addictions

[endzoner]

Ive looked around and im not seeing anything that relates to this topic , Im a boozer .. but recently have found out that my sister has a very bad problem with spending and shopping . Shes currently in a county jail for bad checks and dare i say this ( embezzelment ) from her place of employment . I know its a addiction just like mine, I was just lookin for some insite to try and understand . Im very scared for her , She has 4 kids and a marrige of 14 yrs , no one had a clue that it was to become of this , anyone have any insight or experience on this to share with me would be appreciated . thanks Mrs O

[Lilyflower]

Hi there! I don't have any personal experience of this form of addiction, but I found this on the net and hope it may help...


Shopping

A very common pattern of behaviour in our western world when we are feeling depressed or out of sorts, is to go on a shopping spree. For some people however this has developed to problematic behaviour. Compulsive shopping/buying or spending, is also known by the scientific term 'oniomania'.

Shopaholics are often, though not, by any means always, women. For many people, shopping provides an activity acceptable to society to change our mood. The advertisements scream out at us everywhere we look, from telephone boxes to junk mail, 'come buy me today', 'you need me now', and 'I'll heal your mood.' As with all addictions when the addictive trances wear off, the desire to get another 'fix' becomes very strong.

In her book 'I shop therefore I am' Dr. Benson states: 'that as many as 1⁄4 of us have problems with buying and studies suggest that between 1 - 6 % of the population are fully fledged compulsive buyers'*.

The addictive shopper will often have several credit/store cards; they may go out in a compulsive or uncontrolled manner and buy many of the same items all at once, items they may not want or need. They may feel guilty after a spending spree then get depressed, so to combat the depression go out and spend more money. This is a very serious addiction and should not be looked upon any differently to any other addiction.

Are you having trouble controlling your spending?

Do you experience a sense of excitement/elevated mood while out shopping?

Do people close to you express concern over the amount of time/money you spend shopping?

Do you find yourself shopping even though you'd previously decided you did not want to/had vowed not to?

Is your buying causing problems in other areas of your life such as relationships, finances or social life?

The compulsive shopper may also have various items at home, tucked away still in their original packaging. Some may be continually returning the items, or disposing of them in other ways.

There are a number of possible reasons for developing this condition known as oniomania: research in the UK has revealed that most women, who have a problem with this compulsion, shop to increase their self esteem - buying things that they think will make them seem more prosperous, glamorous or intelligent ...or whatever. It is also sometimes a cure for loneliness, sadness or possibly anger. In addition, there is research from Stanford University, California, USA, which has revealed a link between clinical depression and compulsive shopping. This has led to the prescribing, in some cases, of anti-depressant medications to help combat oniomania.

Some tips to protect yourself if you feel you may be at risk:

Do not carry credit cards/checkbooks around with you.

Keep only a limited amount of cash on you - for essentials.

Don't window shop - 'lead us not into temptation!'

Don't play games or try to justify purchases.

Try to avoid advertisements, where possible.

Plan alternative activities when you would normally be out shopping.

Talk it over with someone else - contact us if you like.

* Benson Dr. A. L. (2000). 'I shop, therefore I am' compulsive buying and the search for self. Jason Aronson Inc USA.

Shopping Addiction Links


Types of Addiction - Shopping

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Lilyflower]

This appears to be a british web site but there may be an equivalent one for you in the US,

Debtors Anonymous* - Recovery from Compulsive Debt


Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Lilyflower]

Ha it is as simple as changing .org to .com!

USA Debt Anonymous...


Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[nandm]

One of the symptoms of bi-polar type II is excessive and compulsive spending. Many times to the point of bad checks, spending the rent money, etc.... It might be a good idea if she spoke with a psychologist or psychiatrist. If she is bi-polar there are meds that can help.