Mood swings

[Bamboozle]

Look, I'm not really sure where to put this down at...I don't have a diagnosed condition because I haven't been to a psychologist. I did counseling a few years back in school, but they didn't do much...

Anyway, one of the biggest reasons I drank so much was to self-medicate (and somewhere down the line it became an every day thing.). I'm getting scared now because I'm at two months sober and the last two weeks have been bad. I mean, nothing disastrous happened, but I cannot control my emotions.

I've had bad days when stopping before, but this is going on two weeks running. I've had more mood swings than normal lately. I woke up this morning feeling depressed when I had no good reason to be. It changed to anger, then happiness, then anger, then I was somewhat okay, then went to a little depressed again...

...I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster...not a mega one, but enough of one to prevent me from doing things I need to get done. I'm anxious and scared. I'm tired of this. I hope it stops soon. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here in this forum. I'm hoping I'll stay sober for at least one more day--My sobriety feels like it's slipping by...I'm afraid to fall back into drinking again...but I can see it coming.

There is absolutely no way I can go to the doctor for this one because I don't have insurance and have no way to pay (because I'm quitting my job--I don't know how long I'll be jobless for...I just couldn't do it anymore).

[doorknob]

That's how it gets for me too. Whatever I was medicating comes back with a vengeance. And then there's PAWS.

[nandm]

It may be related to early sobriety but could also be a sign of a mental health issue. Many cities have free or sliding scale mental health clinics in them. There should be a mental health crisis line in your phone book for your area. Call that number and discuss your concerns with them. They should be able to direct you to someone who can help.

Welcome to our mental health forum.

[kelsh]

It is my understanding that some sort of withdrawal from alcohol/drugs can go on within our bodies for several months after quitting. It is sneaky & can come on at anytime.

I was self medicating my Depression/Anxiety with alcohol for years....had been dx in the early 70's but only stayed sober a year here and there. I drank daily after work and passed the invisible line to where my body needed the alcohol for me to function....at the same time everyday or I would start into withdrawals with the shakes...couldn't write a check...so had to be sure I had cash with me.

My depression got worse & worse until I felt like I was going crazy even when drinking I did not want to drink..but did until I got help for both my drinking & Depression/Anxiety. A certain sign that my Depression is escalating is when I start getting angry with everything & everyone.

There are places you can get help without insurance...a lot of people talk about the Salvation Army...I went to the local Mental Health & since I was low income at the time was elgible for Medicade from the State.

I wish you luck & please keep coming back for support.

kelsh

[barb dwyer]

There is absolutely no way I can go to the doctor for this one because I don't have insurance and have no way to pay (because I'm quitting my job--I don't know how long I'll be jobless for...I just couldn't do it anymore).

what NANDM said.

and - that is exactly what happened to me as well.

I'm betting there's a 'scale' clinic nearby that maybe you just don't know about.

That is one thing I always encourage people to discuss with members in their fellowship. I tell you what - the local alano club can be faster than a blackberry for getting you info you need in relation to this kind of stuff.

Are you involved in a program of recovery?
There's a wealth of resources in the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
And yeah, I know I sound like a commercial, but it truly saved my life.

No push ... just a suggestion.

oh and while I'm thinking about it - - -Welcome!

[SelfSeeking]

"There are six major types of PAW symptoms that contribute to this They are the inability to think clearly, memory problems, emotional overreactions and numbness, sleep disturbances, physical coordination problems, and general problems in managing stress. The inability to solve usually simple problems because of any or all of these symptoms leads to diminished self-esteem. A person often feels incompetent, embarrassed, and “not okay” about themselves. Diminished self-esteem and the fear of failure interfere with productive and challenging living."

Oh my god, they seem to be saying I should expect this to go away at some point? This is a thing? I thought I was just a stupid, weak person!

Sorry, thread hijackedge over. You're not alone, Bam. I'm an effing lunatic right now, and I have the benefit of mental health care.

[Bamboozle]

...Whatever it is, I've never felt it this bad before sober...

[Bamboozle]

You know, I can handle a few days of this crap...but it's been nearly constant for two weeks......and.....maybe it's just my flawed perception.......but it seems to be getting worse.....I was super close to relapsing last night.....and I feel worse today...

[jurneyman]

I know you don't want to go through the pain of early recovery, but it has to be done,
to find a life that can be happy, joyous, and free from Alcohol, and it just might be the hardest thing you will ever face, without the help you have always used in the past. If you can relate to anyone who has gone through the grieving process of losing someone or something that was a very big part of their lives, maybe even a pet, then maybe you can understand that what you are experiencing on top of the pain from the withdraws is the possibility that you are going through the stages of grief, from losing. something that was relied on to help live and face life, such as it was. What was told to me more times then I want to remember was, don't compare yourself and what you are going through to others, but try to find in others, what you can relate to. a day at a time.