Errr hi again all... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Paulos · 09-13-2008, 06:37 AM

How's it going all... 90 days of sobriety but I think I'm going through Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, man I want these stressful feelings/symptoms to go away... I'm so scared... always crying... always OCDing... here all, a piece from my Journal I just wrote in case anyone cares...

"8:28am feeling like I don't know what I do... do I have amnesia or something? God I
feel so confused about the own things I do and ever did! I feel so BLASTED mentally and retarded >:O... I'm very afraid right now as usual!
90 days sober without any booze... that is something to be proud of but it's just... it's just I'm always timing to the next time I get washed,
the next time I have to deal with something stressful, the time when I last got washed/went to bed... just always OCDing. At least I got a
"little" better last night when at 12am I did my Brainiversity, talked to mom about things, cried some of my feelings out, made a folder of
lists to show the doctor and played some Pogo :|. So INSECURE feeling as well. Feeling disappointed in myself for not being able or feeling
up to Runeing with Blue and Hears... I've felt this feeling before regarding responsibility to my guildies, I miss my towel holder in my
bathroom... used to lean my head on it as I strugged to ****... but that was rather unhygenic... due to my head grease and all. It's not fair,
letting things OUT you know such as writing them out even doesn't make me feel better anymore! WHY AM I FEELING SO SHOT?!?"

Man... is life only about feeling insecure about everything?

Live · 09-13-2008, 07:47 AM

I am so sorry you are struggling so,Paulos. It tears at my heart. Will you be seeing your DR soon?

WLDKATZ · 09-13-2008, 07:59 AM

Paulos, you have been to hell and back again I know but it didn't say in the big book admit that we were powerless then it would be all better.....hang tough you have been doing a fabulous job so far.....and I agree, when are you going to go to your Dr......you have followed my recovery long enough to know that there are just sometimes when you MUST conceed and go and say hey this is harder than I can do alone......give it a chance you may find yourself back to almost normal again!!!!

Love and Hugs,
Pamm

Bamboozle · 09-13-2008, 08:09 AM

Hello, Paulos. I hope you see a doctor soon.

Paulos · 09-13-2008, 08:20 AM

Oh I've had a dr's assistance... recently. I was on Clomipramine for about 2 weeks but I was so sick, lost 20lbs in that time, then begun having breathing problems and begun falling literally all over the place. Then I was taken off the pill now it's been like 5-6 days off of it, feeling a little physically better but ... my OCD is going CRAZY, as you can see from my journal.

Paulos · 09-13-2008, 08:20 AM

Going to my Psychiatrist this Tuesday also for a checkup, I almost ended up in the HOSPITAL due to that pill.

Hope · 09-13-2008, 08:25 AM

Paulos, I'm so sorry that you are going through so much.

Tell the doctor everything you are going through.

Don't lose hope. It's rough now but it'll get better.

WLDKATZ · 09-13-2008, 12:31 PM

Paulos, print out your journal hon let them see what is going on!!!!!

Toomutch · 09-13-2008, 12:50 PM

((((Paulos))))

historyteach · 09-13-2008, 07:15 PM

(((Paulos)))

I'm sorry that you're feeling so poorly.
But, it's wonderful the way you've reached out to others, despite that fact! Thank you!
Let us know how it goes at the doctor's visit. We care.

Shalom!

Paulos · 09-13-2008, 08:55 PM

...I'm just so scared I'm going to be overwhelmed by my autism, like I'm not going to be able to read, write, talk or anything anymore... like retardation... it's insane I know it sounds insane but it feels so real.

Paulos · 09-14-2008, 02:14 AM

sigh........

09-13-2008, 06:37 AM	#1 (permalink)
Paulos Member Bat & Mouse 2 Champion! Classic Frogger Champion! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,013 Blog Entries: 4	Errr hi again all... How's it going all... 90 days of sobriety but I think I'm going through Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, man I want these stressful feelings/symptoms to go away... I'm so scared... always crying... always OCDing... here all, a piece from my Journal I just wrote in case anyone cares... "8:28am feeling like I don't know what I do... do I have amnesia or something? God I feel so confused about the own things I do and ever did! I feel so BLASTED mentally and retarded >:O... I'm very afraid right now as usual! 90 days sober without any booze... that is something to be proud of but it's just... it's just I'm always timing to the next time I get washed, the next time I have to deal with something stressful, the time when I last got washed/went to bed... just always OCDing. At least I got a "little" better last night when at 12am I did my Brainiversity, talked to mom about things, cried some of my feelings out, made a folder of lists to show the doctor and played some Pogo :\|. So INSECURE feeling as well. Feeling disappointed in myself for not being able or feeling up to Runeing with Blue and Hears... I've felt this feeling before regarding responsibility to my guildies, I miss my towel holder in my bathroom... used to lean my head on it as I strugged to ****... but that was rather unhygenic... due to my head grease and all. It's not fair, letting things OUT you know such as writing them out even doesn't make me feel better anymore! WHY AM I FEELING SO SHOT?!?" Man... is life only about feeling insecure about everything? __________________ "Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh, and I will cry. Happiness I can not feel, and love to me is so unreal." Loony from Rings of Power

09-13-2008, 07:47 AM	#2 (permalink)
Live Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Bristol TN/VA Posts: 11,305 Blog Entries: 5	I am so sorry you are struggling so,Paulos. It tears at my heart. Will you be seeing your DR soon? __________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters

09-13-2008, 07:59 AM	#3 (permalink)
WLDKATZ Hell on Wheels Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Flint MI Posts: 4,455	Paulos, you have been to hell and back again I know but it didn't say in the big book admit that we were powerless then it would be all better.....hang tough you have been doing a fabulous job so far.....and I agree, when are you going to go to your Dr......you have followed my recovery long enough to know that there are just sometimes when you MUST conceed and go and say hey this is harder than I can do alone......give it a chance you may find yourself back to almost normal again!!!! Love and Hugs, Pamm __________________ Good Better best never let it rest until you kick the dog shi! out of the looser!!!!!!!!!

09-13-2008, 08:09 AM	#4 (permalink)
Bamboozle I got nothin' Duck Hunt 2 Champion! Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: My house. Posts: 4,776 Blog Entries: 14	Hello, Paulos. I hope you see a doctor soon. __________________ A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

09-13-2008, 08:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
Paulos Member Bat & Mouse 2 Champion! Classic Frogger Champion! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,013 Blog Entries: 4	Oh I've had a dr's assistance... recently. I was on Clomipramine for about 2 weeks but I was so sick, lost 20lbs in that time, then begun having breathing problems and begun falling literally all over the place. Then I was taken off the pill now it's been like 5-6 days off of it, feeling a little physically better but ... my OCD is going CRAZY, as you can see from my journal. __________________ "Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh, and I will cry. Happiness I can not feel, and love to me is so unreal." Loony from Rings of Power

09-13-2008, 08:20 AM	#6 (permalink)
Paulos Member Bat & Mouse 2 Champion! Classic Frogger Champion! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,013 Blog Entries: 4	Going to my Psychiatrist this Tuesday also for a checkup, I almost ended up in the HOSPITAL due to that pill. __________________ "Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh, and I will cry. Happiness I can not feel, and love to me is so unreal." Loony from Rings of Power

09-13-2008, 08:25 AM	#7 (permalink)
Hope Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 3,300	Paulos, I'm so sorry that you are going through so much. Tell the doctor everything you are going through. Don't lose hope. It's rough now but it'll get better.

09-13-2008, 12:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
WLDKATZ Hell on Wheels Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Flint MI Posts: 4,455	Paulos, print out your journal hon let them see what is going on!!!!! __________________ Good Better best never let it rest until you kick the dog shi! out of the looser!!!!!!!!!

09-13-2008, 12:50 PM	#9 (permalink)
Toomutch with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Co. Posts: 3,178	((((Paulos)))) __________________ The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.

09-13-2008, 07:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 9,303	(((Paulos))) I'm sorry that you're feeling so poorly. But, it's wonderful the way you've reached out to others, despite that fact! Thank you! Let us know how it goes at the doctor's visit. We care. Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

09-13-2008, 08:55 PM	#11 (permalink)
Paulos Member Bat & Mouse 2 Champion! Classic Frogger Champion! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,013 Blog Entries: 4	...I'm just so scared I'm going to be overwhelmed by my autism, like I'm not going to be able to read, write, talk or anything anymore... like retardation... it's insane I know it sounds insane but it feels so real. __________________ "Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh, and I will cry. Happiness I can not feel, and love to me is so unreal." Loony from Rings of Power

09-14-2008, 02:14 AM	#12 (permalink)
Paulos Member Bat & Mouse 2 Champion! Classic Frogger Champion! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,013 Blog Entries: 4	sigh........ __________________ "Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh, and I will cry. Happiness I can not feel, and love to me is so unreal." Loony from Rings of Power

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