Hi Everyone,

[Juls]

I just wanted to say hello, and check in to see how people are doing?

I'm doing pretty well today.

Juls

[2stop]

Hi Juls! Glad you're doing well today.
I am a little crazy with feelings and fear today, but am working through it. I am just scared I will never function like I used to. I will work through it somehow though!

[Lilya]

Hi,

I just arrived in Switzerland with my niece. I was glad to leave Paris and I woke up heavyheaded this morning. Pollution and heat, maybe? Anyway, I felt the depression was about to kick in so it was a good idea to travel this weekend.

Tammie, I hope you´ll feel better.

Love and light,

Use adversity

[2stop]

Hi Lilya! I hope you have a safe and pleasant trip, have as much fun as you can..you deserve it!!!

[Juls]

2Stop,

What are the things you do that help you work through your fears and anxieties.

Lilya,

I've never been to Paris, but it's always romanticized so much, I found it funny for you to say you were glad to get away from it. Hope you are enjoying yourself.

Juls

[Lilya]

In Italy at last! This is my favourite country in Europe. Mystic, beautiful and full of vitality.

Juls, Paris is like any other big city. In the winter it´s not much fun and Parisians are in a bad mood, not very friendly. Sometimes I´m ashame how they treat foreigners. I can see what you mean, though. It´s very beautiful and full of exciting history - and it´s true, in the spring, the parks are full with embracing lovers, young and old. I love watching that when I go jogging.

Tell me, Juls, 2Stop and Caveman: Have you experienced waking up depressed after a unusually fun evening? I ask because this is happening more and more often. When we arrived at my aunt´s house, my niece and I, we had big pasta dinner and then I watched a hilarious Woody Allen movie with my aunt. We laughed so hard I thought we would go crazy. Afterwards I sat on the balcony with my favourite music, feeling so happy. This morning I woke up depressed and in a bad mood.

Thank God for this forum and thank all of you!

Love from Italy,

Use adversity

[2stop]

This happens often to me! It's like for every joyous feeling I own a million dark shadows are in wait to jump on me. I think many of us don't believe we deserve to be happy, and also it frightens us to be happy because so many times our joy and innocence was torn away with trauma and other abuse, so we figure it's just safer to feel nothing at all, least not happiness.I guess the best thing to do is allow yourself to feel and acknowledge it in full and then gently nudge yourself into thinking and feeling happier more joyous things. Have a safe trip and try to truly enjoy yourself! You deserve it you know!!

[Juls]

I think that feeling of happines and joy may scare us, and that we can have a reaction of feeling depressed after we had an experience that we've really enjoyed. I also think it can be other things too. I think sometimes it's important not to get too caught up in examining our feelings all the time.

I know depression is a part of my life, but so is happiness. I'm learning to roll with the punches so to speak. Take the good with the bad. I do have to fight off my depression at times, and sometimes I get so tired of struggling so hard with my emotions. I wonder why is it so hard for me. I know some of the answers, but not all. Having a place to come and talk about my feelings, like here, really helps me. Having people here that will listen, and understand helps alot. Making that connections helps to bring me out of myself.

2Stop, I like what you said about acknowledging, and then gently nudging yourself to move on.

Lilya, you are living my fantasy life right now, so keep reporting on your trip, and have as many fun days as you can.

Juls

[2stop]

Hi Juls!! How are you today?
I have to agreee with what you said about examining our emotions too deep. Oh boy do I get myself in a mess when I do! I guess I think if I really know and understand them I can "conquer", control them or something. And the thing I mentioned about nudging my emotions toward happiness after acknowledging them..I just figured that out..I have been banging my head against the brick walls I've built up demanding to feel good, trying to force it while giving myself a headache ..I am learning to be gentle with me..the same I would with a friend..

Lilya! Like Juls said keep updating us on your trip..it is indeed a fantasy for me too...one I plan on making come true one day..til then I'll be content being happy for you and hearing your stories! Hope you're doing well today and having loads of fun and adventure!!!!!!

[Juls]

2Stop,

I am having a very peaceful, quiet day at home with my daughter. Your right that it is important to be gentle with ourselves. Alot of the things I've learned about how to deal with my depressions, anxieties, etc. are things that I have just learned over the years.

Some things I've learned in counseling, some things I've learned on my own, or by talking to other people.

Control is a big factor, because I feel out of control when I am having feelings of depression, etc. Learning to just accept them and acknowledge them has really helped me. It helps me to detach myself from myself if that makes sense. Like you said, take care of yourself, like you would someone else if they were going through it.

Thanks for asking after me.

Juls

[2stop]

So glad to hear you're having a peaceful day!

[Caveman]

Sorry I was away for a while there, Thank the airlines for my unexpected absence.

In my darkest days, everything was black. There was no waking up depressed the next day, there was just constant exhaustion. My biggest problem was the unability to sleep. That lasted five or six years. I was ALWAYS depressed when I woke the next day.

The drugs have helped so much that for me it is almost a miracle. I have my life back.

I have bad times now, but it seems I know what to do now, instead of lashing out or crying.

Sorry not much help.

[Lilya]

Hello from Italy!

Caveman, welcome back. It´s nice to have you with us again.
I also could not sleep before I got the medecins. They truly saved my life. But there is so much work still...

I took a daytrip to Venice with my niece. No matter how often I´ve been to Venice, it´s always breathtaking, mysterious and exotic. Especially when you arrive there by taking the train that goes on the water so you see the old buildings rise from the Canale Grande. Then the doves on San Marco´s square, the small streets and bridges, the red roses on green water... usually when a funeral takes place, they throw roses in the canals... and the wonderful Café Florian, the Jewish cemetary, the art museums... Philosophers claim that something dark lurks under the surface in Venice and that you should be on guard, but it has never affected me that way. It´s always truly beautiful and nourishes the soul.

I must say though, that some of the old buildings are really sinking.
Well, I´ve been often to Venice along with other French tourists and even though I love the city, my really exotic fantasy trip is driving down the coast from Oregon to California through the redwood forest.

Now I´m having another pastadinner with some Italian friends of my aunt and then back to boring old Paris tomorrow. More thoughts on depression later, now I´m simply too happy!

Love and light,

Use adversity

[Juls]

Lilya,

I can just see the canals. I would love to go to Venice.

I have been several times on that drive you mentioned seeing the Redwoods, and they are pretty spectacular. Huge giants of trees, that have been standing, some of them, for hundreds of years.

Juls