famous last words " get over it "

[lane57]

Hello all,
Does anyone with anxiety and depression ever hear " it"s all in your head " "get over it" or " snap out of it "
I'm so tired of hearing this, I wish he could live in my aching and sad body one day !!!

[Klynn33]

Hi lane!
I used to hear that all the time.........which was annoying. I already knew it was in my head.....d'uh and if I could have "snapped out of it" I would have. apparently some people think we enjoy feeling like that?? guess if they haven't been there they don't know how it feels - but I agree it gets tiring hearing it all the time.
is it family/friends saying this to you? or doctors. if it's the doctor start searching for another one who understands......there's help out there, you just have to find the right person to take the time to figure out what exactely is going on and how to treat it.
take care!!
Krista

[historyteach]

Hi, lane!
Welcome to SR and the MH forum!

Those things being said are foolish and a signal that the person speaking does not know what you are dealing with. I'm sorry.

Are you going to a counselor? What is your diagnoses? Do you have one? If so, your best bet is to get some information and give it to him/her, or leave it around for the other person to find and read and discover for themself. But, don't bother arguing with them. Take care of yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I hope to see you back, and to get to know you. We're here to help.

Shalom!

[mxchaos]

these words carry so much hurt I hate when here them

[focusontoday]

I moved an hour from my Dr & I went to see a new Dr who told me 'either you can go to work or you can't' as I asked her for another medical certificate while on leave without pay from work & on sickness benefits. My previous Dr had already diagnosed my depression & anxiety. I left in tears and the nurse took me into her little section. She was nice until I started talking and then she started saying how much we love 'wallowing in self pity" dont we. I left that Dr surgery & wanted to drive my car into a telegraph pole. Thankfully I sat & cried in my car for a while to calm down.
Needless to say I drive an hour to see my previous Dr.

My dear late friend said to me "what other people think of me is none of my business"
I try to explain to people about how I feel but they don't get it. so I don't bother trying twice.

Talk to people who are supportive and understand.
focusontoday

:ghug

[StayinAlive]

Welcome lane !

how about " its all the way you look at it" or "its all a matter of perspective"
arrrrrrg,
yes there is truth to these statements and if we were well, we could use this to control our negative thinking and lows. But hearing it when not well and in the pit of despair you just want to drop that person or tell them to #$%^ right off, well at least i did lol............

the thing is they just don't know or understand nor are they equipped to counsel. But they mean well. If you had a broken leg they would pick you up till you could pick your self up, but since your spirit is broken there like ..........um.......so.....ah pull yourself together?

Its nice to hear something like "I am sorry you feeling so crappy, i have no idea, i wish there was something i could do, is there anything i can do, can i give you a hug, it will get better, your looking so much better today, keep searching for the solution we can find it together" and so on........

the most valuable thing you can pass on to the depressed is hope and encouragement to not give up.

Sorry your struggling now Lance, hang in there, it will get better, we are here for you and have some idea

[Freedom1990]

Yep, my parents have said that often to me over the years.

I tune them out.

[KELS1961]

Yes I am bipolar and have heard this. Or they say will just notthinkabout it how stupid"""""""""""""""""""""""!!!!What id I said oh get over it it i is only diebates or a broken leg.
Boy I could go on and on. These people who say these things will never understand and I quit trying toexplaintothem because it just makesme upset and furious.

[geekorunique]

Another one is that I should just "pull myself together"
I've been on anti depressants for nine years but my mother still thinks that I could be happy if I just tried!
At least we all have each other eh!

[KELS1961]

People just do not understand. My Grandmother whom I love dearly and who will never ever understand she is 88 and she does not believe in this this stuf tells me well just do not think about it. Or what is wrong with you just stay busy.
I finally just got tired of explaining so now if someone asks I say you know I am just crazy and that is the end of that!!!!
Kelli...

[sct]

Yeah... "I'm nuts" usually works for me. The best people in my life know that they don't understand, and offer support without trying to force me out of it.

[liveweyerd]

I have heard it for years and just won't let it pass anymore. I say that I am ill, that is why I am on medications (6 of them) and that if I don't take them I will die because my chemical wiring in my brain does not work right and it may be genetically passed on. My family also knows that I was hospitalized in October for suicidal ideation. They may think it's quackery...but they don't say it to me anymore. I was also hospitalized in 93 for major depression.
You'd think they would know Dr's don't prescribe and hospitalize people for having a "wrong attitude"!
I figure my family doesn't care because if it were my child, I would have made a point to learn everything I could about it.

In general I simply tell people I have health issues.

I have also put a complete stop to the joking that I participated in that I was crazy. I no longer find that funny.

[scarlati]

My mother once told me,"You don't need therapy. You just need a girlfriend."

[doorknob]

I get the same thing with my OCD rituals...

YouTube - Mad TV Bob Newhart Skit - Mo Collins - Stop it

[liveweyerd]

LOL and after my divorce my mom, said...maybe if you had baked bread?

Who is nutz?

[nandm]

Originally Posted by liveweyerd

I have also put a complete stop to the joking that I participated in that I was crazy. I no longer find that funny.

I think this is a part of the key to changing the way the general public views mental health issues. If we participate in making fun of our illnesses we are contributing to others beliefs that mental illness is not really an illness at all. Also it contributes to the us and them mentality that is so pervasive in our society that people try to keep up to feel protected from becoming mentally ill. I used to poke fun at people with anxiety disorders and depression, not to their face. What I learned is that when the shoe is on the other foot there really isn't much to laugh about at all.

Today I understand acute anxiety attacks.....in fact I had one today on my g/f's mothers roof while we were in the middle of replacing an attic fan. Not a good place for someone who has issues with heights anyway but then throw an anxiety attack into it and it could have spelled disaster. I made my g/f go down and bring me up a klonopin. I then stayed up there without moving from that spot until the medicine kicked in. Thankfully it took us about a half hour to get the fan in so by the time we were done with it the med had kicked in enough I could move to get down off the roof. Had I run across someone exhibiting the same symptoms and feelings I had on the roof, even as close as 10 years ago I would have been thinking in the back of my head "I wish they would just take a deep breath and get over it. Such drama."

Here in Portland, OR we have a rather large homeless population. My thoughts are that about 50% are homeless because of mental health issues. If our country would just treat mental health issues with at least the same respect they treat physical issues we would have more people who would be able to lead productive lives and not be homeless. Guess this might have fit better in our rants and raves thread...

[liveweyerd]

Thank you for your insight NandM....for me it became a matter of me demeaning myself and gaining self-esteem and self-respect enough not to be a part of that anymore.

[Paulos]

Originally Posted by lane57

Hello all,
Does anyone with anxiety and depression ever hear " it"s all in your head " "get over it" or " snap out of it "
I'm so tired of hearing this, I wish he could live in my aching and sad body one day !!!

Lane57 don't let those people make you feel bad, trust me they don't KNOW what it's like to live in our bodies and so don't let them get you down... I know all about what it feels like... trust me... just ignore them and DON'T TAKE IT TO HEART...

[Isaiah]

Sadly, that is still the reaction I get from my family and a lot of the friends I confide in. I think they've accepted that they "don't get it" and I've accepted that they "don't get it", and I manage to get support (I'd prefer empathy, but if wishes were... I forget the expression.)

I get passive-aggressive about such comments. Like, if someone tells me their nervous about a presentation or something I'll snap back with, "well, just stop being nervous!"

Really though, if people just flipped a switch to make them feel a certain way we'd have no wars, no fear, no broken hearts and Earth would be a paradise. My two cents.

[Isaiah]

Originally Posted by nandm

I think this is a part of the key to changing the way the general public views mental health issues. If we participate in making fun of our illnesses we are contributing to others beliefs that mental illness is not really an illness at all. Also it contributes to the us and them mentality that is so pervasive in our society that people try to keep up to feel protected from becoming mentally ill. I used to poke fun at people with anxiety disorders and depression, not to their face. What I learned is that when the shoe is on the other foot there really isn't much to laugh about at all.

My perspective is, it's okay for me so long as I'm making reference to myself or others who are "in", who I have made common ground with. I don't think I'd ever feel good about making fun of anyone else who goes through what I go/have been through. I'd never dare make a joke at anyone here without having some sort of mutual trust.

I think there's also a polar extreme to people taking us not seriously enough and that is taking us too seriously. It can also get to a point where we lose our ability to be our own physicians, and we are pitied so much that we become a problem "they" have to fix--like global warming or a cracked sidewalk.

For me, black humor has been a way of making two statements: first, the truth that I've had some horrible experiences in my life; second, that I control how (you) have to react to them.

[BackToSquareOne]

I think that everyone suffering from depression and anxiety has heard those things. Some of my favorites are "Just don't think about it" or "Just keep yourself busy" of course "it's all in your head" seems to always pop up. If you could just keep yourself busy and have the depression and anxiety magically go away wouldn't that be great!

I have found that it's almost impossible to relate how bad your feeling to someone who has never lived through it so I don't even bother. Some people tend to think that a severly depressed person is just lazy because they have no conception as to how debilitating these conditions can be. For those who think that it's all just a state of mind then please show me the switch so I can turn it off.

I don't think that most people are being cruel with their comments, I just think as others have stated they just don't have a clue.

[lane57]

I'm sooooo sorry I havn't replyed to all, thank you so much for your stories, It helps to know your not alone.

[Lilyflower]

Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne

I think that everyone suffering from depression and anxiety has heard those things. Some of my favorites are "Just don't think about it" or "Just keep yourself busy" of course "it's all in your head" seems to always pop up. If you could just keep yourself busy and have the depression and anxiety magically go away wouldn't that be great!

I have found that it's almost impossible to relate how bad your feeling to someone who has never lived through it so I don't even bother. Some people tend to think that a severly depressed person is just lazy because they have no conception as to how debilitating these conditions can be. For those who think that it's all just a state of mind then please show me the switch so I can turn it off.

I don't think that most people are being cruel with their comments, I just think as others have stated they just don't have a clue.

I completely agree with this! I have had this said to me so many times in the past too.

My mum was a major ''just snap out of it'' person, until she too was diagnosed with depression due to her dibilitating illnesses of Chrons disease, arthritis, under active thyroid and on and on.

She finally understood that depression was more than just ''wallowing in self pity'' and could relate to me. It was a shame that it took that for her to begin to see things from my side.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[grewupinabarn]

The 'just get over it' is thankfully less prevalent than in years past. Yet, our culture (at least in N. America) still has a 'go it alone' and 'just snap out of it' attitude that is prevalent in the media. This keeps lots of people out of therapy, especially those with substance abuse problems.
Oddly enough, many who have mild or short-term depression pursue medication more so than those with severe depression. I would guess that those who can still be assertive, who haven't descended too deeply, can still get out the door to the doctor. That is how prozac ended up on the front of Time magazine back in the 90's.
It takes some work, some goal-setting, some assertiveness to get into therapy, or at least a persistent friend. I know - it took until my mid-30's and several bouts of depression to finally open the phone book. Fortunately I lucked out with a great therapist (inexpensive too, she was still getting licensed and our sessions were reviewed by her supervisor).

[Sunlight81]

My personal fav: Quit feeling sorry for yourself!

I have 2 kinds of recovering friends, people who say If you're not happy, joyous and free, you're screwed up and people who say God has a plan for you, you are right where you are supposed to be, and then depending on how I feel, I choose who I'm going to hang out with.