Shout out---Tena is in trouble!

[liveweyerd]

Heavens to mergartroid, if I hadn't talked to Jenna twice today and the last time as an emergency, I would be headed to the psych ward myself! (Again)

Jenna is rather brilliant, y'know!

I have to start with the easy stuff first. After my scenario of committing murder, I had serial nightmares of myself as a murderer and not in the scenario I was posting about. Dear Jenna, suggested that maybe that is where stories are created. If I had had a recorder, indeed, I had a fictional intense story going. We joked about Steven King.

I am not an alcoholic, but I do drink occasionally. Tonight I have a bottle of wine. Frankly I think the best use for it would have been to swing it at an EMT's elbow who had the education of a janitor. Forgive me janitors, you are skilled.

Tonight I needed to call the ambulance for my husband. A couple of years back he was misdiagnosed as having prostrate cancer. Then the bioposies were a malpractice suit as they turned it into hamburger and pierced his bladder. How many emergency runs to the VA I made, calling the police ahead to say get out of my way this is a medical emergency. He was in so much pain that I could have delivered 3 children in the hour it took to get him to Marion IL VA.

So, he is in worsening agony for the last two days, I insisted that we call the nurse at the VA. She says he needs to go to ER tonight. Brainless EMT tells me that it is no big deal that he is obligated to tell someone with a splinter to go to the ER! Then brags about his bad elbow that he won't have treated ....this is where the temptation to swing the wine bottle at it comes in, as he insults me, my husband etc. "how's that working for ya?"

I can't even get them to take the numbers the nurse gave me for the DR to contact the VA!

Husband protested going, but he knew he had to in his deepest being. I had to make the decision and tell him I am going to call the ambulance, smoke your cigarettes now. I know he needed to go, because he got up and got dressed with a certain look on his face. He is scared.

Good wife? I can't go with him. I learned this the hard way. The last time in October the stress of fighting for him and the system all the way to the top ended with me in the lockup hospital ward for 5 days.

I can feel it. If I have to fight a whole gaggle of fools again and with the stress of the hospital and feeling responsible for seeing that he gets the appropriate care and is correctly transferred to the VA hospital. I will melt down. I am weak. I can't fight this fight tonight.

What wife leaves her husband alone to go to the ER?
Sure, they are pros, they will take good care of him.
NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
I have been taken to that ER myself when misprecribed a dangerous drug.

I told the EMT his pain level, because hubs is ALWAYS in pain, that's what being a disabled veteran is about! The jerk tells me that it is not possible or he would not be standing upright....I told him I knew my husband 5 years, he didn't.

I am sure different places have different requirements, but these two only had to pass for a driver's license!

Again I am dealing with violence in myself.
HOW DARE THEY?
They didn't take any vitals. Nothing but say, shucks....we just have to say ya need to go to the hospital. But there's no charge if ya don't go.
My husband had enough sense to have a urine sample to take with him.

To hell with it, I just called 911 and asked to log a serious complaint. The supervisor is supposed to return my call.

Ah, and the supervisor did and knows my husband well and fondly. I asked for the resignation of one of the EMT's and explained their unprofessional misconduct. The supervisor is one of my husband's fans and asked me to tell him hello. He assured me he would investigate this incident..and that I was correct in expecting them to behave in a professional manner.

Hubs just called. They gave him a shot. He doesn't know what...that's why I am always with him. They are going to put a catheter in him. He is terrified of catheters. I have been with him several times when they have done this. One of them they call the garden hose. Not even morphine makes it bearable.

My hubs was able to submit the VA numbers to the DR.

I am going to go pick him up in a bit and we will go to the West Palm Beach Hospital tomorrow.

I have had very little wine. I do feel like I am coming totally unglued.

Tomorrow will be a harrowing day as well. I really don't know if I can take it.
Like I said, last time the stress put me in the hospital for 5 days. And it is feeling that way again.

I am going to go pick up hubs. I will cry. I have had a catheter in an emergency situation and I almost took the ceiling out with my fingernails. His is much, much worse.

Then, yes, I am going to have a couple glasses of wine so that I can at least sleep before it begins again.

Please send me vibes of strength enough to last for tomorrow. I am feeling very frightened. I am afraid of a meltdown tomorrow and going back to the hospital.

It isn't looking good from how I am reacting and feeling now.

[CatsPajamas]

((( tena )))

Prayers for calm and comfort... and for gracious and loving professionals who are able to care for your husband in the best way.

[shutterbug]

Dear sis, I am sending every good vibe i have to send. Among the turds, i beg the universe to send the brilliant stars among the medical field to your husband and you.

Is there anyone in hubs family that could help with the transfer and the phone calls and paperwork, etc?



Please don't forget to take care of you!!! Isn't it you that taught me about taking care of myself before anyone else....b/c only then are we even ABLE to be there for those we love?

This kind of situation is why i have to constantly tell myself that "i am only human" and that "I can only do as much as i can do."

You KNOW what you need to do to take care of yourself right now, right? Well, hubs is, afterall, an adult capable of taking care of himself, right?
Sure, we all want our loved one's by our side to help us when we need, but having gone through all my weeks of hospitalizations this year with little support or even acknowledgement from local family or friends...i know it's possible to still survive. I mean, having my mom by my side for about only 3 of my total 23 ECTs....i would have absolutely WANTED her NOT to be there if her attendence would have made her ill or otherwise negatively affected her!

And good grief! Can't they anesthitize a person for that kind of medical procedure!!!!?????? As much anxiety as i have about anesthesia....i'd still say KNOCK ME OUT if you are going to even try to cathaterize me!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, i can barely even handle I.V.'s!!!! The nurses have learned that they have to first inject me with some kind of numbing medication just to put in an I.V.! Once, I'd thought about how painful even the numbing med was and said i'd like to try it without as i couldn't remember if it was really that much more painful to have the I.V. put straight in.

It WAS!!!
Luckily, i'd gotten the nurse that day who was good at putting in the I.V.s, so she got it on the first try.
Afterwards, she said, "Good grief girl, you were literally trembling in pain!"
And i had been.
So, i'm a wus. And i'd probably bite anyone who even TRIED THINKING about putting a cathator in me without serious knock-out meds!!!!

I am worried about him, but I am more worried about you right now.
I am soooo glad to hear that he was able to call you already and that you were able to talk to the EMT supervisor. No one should act that way in an emergency situation. Instead, they should be trying to help the family feel better about the person who is going to the hospital for care, not making it worse on them!!

And i hope you are sleeping soundly. You need lots of healthy sleep right now in order to catch up on it....which will help you a great deal emotionally. I think that if you don't get enough rest right now, that you will most probably end up in the hospital. (And i am talking from my own recent experience of what happened after i stayed up too much b/c i had to in order to move...i was nearly ready to take myself to the ER).

Again, i keep repeating....please take care of yourself!

(an example: while moving Saturday....i continued to take breaks whenever i could or needed to, even tho i felt extremely guilty to sit and rest while my mom helped carry items outside. However, I knew that i had been up all night and had already exhausted myself, ontop of the regular depressive fatigue i had already been experiencing more and more of. At first, my mom did take a few breaks, but when we got to town and was unloading...i could tell she was getting sick. I kept asking her over and over to please just sit down and cool off and drink some water for a minute or two at least, but she refused saying 'i'll rest in the truck when we get it unloaded.' Despite my pleas, she kept pushing herself and as they pulled out of my drive-way, she kept having to open the door to throw up. She only got sicker once she got home. That night on the news, i learned that 2 people had died that day from heat exhaustion in our state - as the temps had been around 107.)

So please, whenever u feel like you MUST do something, but your body and/or mind is telling you not to....please....ask yourself "is this worth my life?"

If your body/mind is telling you 'no'....there is a reason!

i love you both and send u all the vibes i have to send.

Jenna

[hippyhippy]

(((live))))
Hunny,
sending all the positive vibes I can. You and your hubs have been treated terribly. I feel so much for both of you.
Don't beat yourself up for not going in with him hun, you have to realise and understand your limitations. You would be no use to him if you got ill on tope of everything.
I cannot understand why they will not anaesthetise for a procedure like this. That seems barbaric. Although, I believe it is done here in UK without anaesthesia too.
Some times I think the people who are on the nd of these telephone lines are the blooming window cleaners who are covering whilst the others have their break! I know it isn't, but I can sympathise with prats on the end of a phone who seem to know bog all.
Hunny, maybe a sleep will help you muster the strength you need.
I am thinking of you hun.
Hippy
xxxx

[liveweyerd]

Thank you, your care means so very much!

It is 4 am and we JUST now got home from the hospital. He called for me to come pick him up, then the DR decided to order a cat scan. My nickname for him is Dr. Molasses.
And he didn't do a damned thing! They gave Danny a steroid shot to put the cathether in! Ran the cat scan...no kidney stone (we knew that) and he was in the worst unbearable pain and they wouldn't help him!

The one nurse who was doing ALL the work was very sweet and tender. She let us know in her own way that the Dr was worthless.

I developed a migraine. and started getting pretty testy knowing we have all day at the West Palm hospital tomorrow which is a 2 1/2 hour drive one way.

Since all they had done was have the nurse put in the catheter right away.....I finally went up to the desk and said this isn't right, he is in there in the worst kind of pain.
(Most places would have given him demerol or morphine & xanax!) The Dr didn't even look in.

I told them if they weren't going to help us, we were leaving. Then they say all the discharge papers are ready but if we leave we won't get them or medications.
AND they didn't even dispense the lousy meds, wrote a scrip! The discharge papers were standard printouts of what we all ready knew and at the end of each one it said if you are experiencing these symptoms, call your Dr or go to ER. And he was having all the symptoms the whole time and when he was being released! Insane.

I asked if they could give me one Relpax for the migraine and they were snotty as hell and told me to go register as entering the ER. Bite me! It would have been so easy to just give hubs an extra pain pill. But they weren't even giving them to him!

Danny brought me home and went to the all night pharmacy and filled the 10 tylenol 3's for my sake. If the migraine hadn't been aborted I would have it 3-5 days!
hm....I threw in a Goody's powder and an ibuprofen in the mix too, it was that bad.
Still not gone but bearable, but I won't be able to sleep. Am sipping sleepytime hot tea.

The ER did not even address what was happening to Danny and what was wrong that this was happening again after 3 years.

Danny has the bad habit of understating his pain level and also at the VA when they ask him how he is he says okay. I could wring his neck. So we have had a discussion and he is to answer them that he is not okay and we are going to get to the bottom of some of this stuff and get him treated adequately.

Danny insists on driving tomorrow, so I will set up the pillows and blankie and sleep during the drive. Will try to rest some tonight.

Thank you for letting me lose my mind here, and accepting me and being supportive.

Will, of course let you know what happens tomorrow.

Then it will be my turn to see my pdoc and want to find a gp to get a scrip for the migraines. Those are something I WON'T live with!

(Don't forget I am the bossy one! LOL)

Oh, and I didn't drink more of the wine than the 2 1/2 glasses I had over the course of several hours.

He can't sleep either, so I guess we are going to sit here and eat ice cream. Our favorite medicine!

I really do know tomorrow is going to be hellish even if we had great sleep.

I have really needed to vent this and I am inclined to write the EMS department an "official" letter of complaint. And perhaps one to the hospital administation too.

I will never call the ambulance again. I will drive him to one of the two other hospitals slightly further away but staffed by professionals and human beings.

Hugs to the dearest friends who bring so much to my life.

There is at least one "funny". The leg that the catheter bag is taped to requires Danny to sleep on my side of the bed. I gave him one of those stern but playful looks and told him he better not pee on my side!
As if raising kids and napping with them, I haven't been wetted down many, many times!

There just aren't enough thanks!

Tena

[historyteach]

(((Tena)))

I'm so sorry for the nonsense and lack of proper treatment that your hubby received.
But, I"m glad you knew that you had to stay home, to care for yourself.
Tomorrow will bring it's own problems.

And Danny does need to tell it like it is. Saying it's "ok" when he's in pain is not giving the docs the info they need to treat him properly. As I always say, we are partners in our health care. The docs depend upon us for our assessment in order to treat us.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you both. My he experience a complete refuah shleyma -- renual of body and spirit.
And you too.

Shalom!

[KatieRose]

Prayers are with you.

[cinderellawkids]

thinking of you

[Japic05]

((Tena))

Prayers for you & Hubby -

Hoping all goes well for the drive and the visit with the drs - praying for the staff, nurses and drs to have open eyes, hearts and minds to the real truth of the medical situation.

Please take good care of you,
Rita

[nandm]

:ghug

[liveweyerd]

I love you! I can't believe you all took the time to read all that! I have the best friends in the world! Right here!

He went by himself today. I do need to take care of myself,..... because Jenna knows me well, too well sometimes and I do not want to go back to the hospital as a patient.

To each of you, you don't know how much it means to my heart, each word of love you have given me!
How could I get so lucky?

Also, he will probably be admitted today at VA. I need to be at home, not at a motel and eating out and sitting in waiting rooms all day getting more and more tired and frustrated. Can't afford the motels etc anyway, may be there for more than one night.

He has phone and will keep me updated.

And I will heed every one of you with your good advice and go get some sleep.
But maybe not just yet, coz one of my favorite things is to sit in my chair and doze in and out. And don't want to be up all night again.

My deepest soul-felt gratitude to each of you. Your care is an honor and a blessing and I hope I can learn to be as compassionate as each of you!

LOVE,
Tena

[PaperDolls]

Tena, sending love and support.



You deserve it all!

[liveweyerd]

No hospital beds available last night and rather than get a room he came home only to turn around and go back this morning.
I hope they keep him for a few days and get this and other things straightened out.
Maybe they will teach him to find his own clothes.

[KatieRose]

Let us know when you find out.

[historyteach]

No hospital bed!!!
That's rediculous! Absurd! Outrageous!
He's a VETRAN!
This saddens my heart...
I'm so sorry that those, who gave so much to our country, are denied aide and comfort in their time of need...

My thoughts and prayers remain with you both.
Please continue to keep us updated.

Shalom!

[liveweyerd]

Teach, they were blowing up air mattresses and lining them in the halls and many people who had come to the ER and were in the waiting room were never seen. Not even by triage! Sent away at 6 pm!
Danny at least got an appropriate appmt for this morning and a shot of morphine and I don't think that would have happened if I wouldn't have phoned!

They only use the air mattresses when they are out of cots/gurneys!

VA hospitals are bad scenes, I am sorry to say!

And all those people waiting didn't have anything to eat or drink all day long, they could have at least passed out crackers and oj!

[windysan]

hang in there, live

[liveweyerd]

He saw the urologist, they are keeping the catheter in and putting him on antibiotics and something to shrink his prostrate (Marion IL VA really messed it up big time).
The urologist told him he needed pain meds, but he has to go through pain clinic and they wouldn't see him. so nothing for pain.
I guess I should have gone because I would be throwing holy hell and he would not be sent home to be bending over in spasms and cramps, shuttering and moaning.
Next appmt 13th.
He is on his way home now....didn't get to make up other 3 appmts missed yesterday!

I have already been into it hot and heavy with the administrator of the day once, so that's why I am reluctant to go and get all stressed out....didn't start with him....spent the day working my way up to fighting with him. groan.

the urologist was just blown away by what they did with him the other night at the local hospital and also told him that what Marion did to him was the worst thing he had heard of.

Will keep this saga updated as it progresses.

[PaperDolls]

My thoughts are with both of you Tena.

[liveweyerd]

Think of me whatever you will but if I knew where or how to score some decent opiates I would do it.

[PaperDolls]

I suppose you know what I think of that.



But I do totally understand the feeling. So long as you don't act on it, you're good.

[hippyhippy]

Oh hunny (((tena)))

I am so so sorry you and hubby are having to go through this. I thought it was only Uk where people were rejected because of lack of beds. Shows how wrong I am eh?
I am sending positive, strength giving vibes your way hunny. I wish I could think of something else to say that would be of more use.
Hippy
xxx

[historyteach]

(((Tena)))
I'm so sorry...
I wish there was something more I could do. But, know that you both remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Shalom!