Back from Berlin - depression rearing itÂ´s head - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Lilya · 07-12-2003, 10:35 AM

Hello to everyone kind enough to give me support and answering my posts.

IÂ´m back from a wonderful and successful trip to Berlin. I loved the city; havenÂ´t visited since I was a wild teeanger and thrown out of the city by the German police. How wonderful to be back to a place where youÂ´ve been out of control and discover how great it is to visit places sober and in control. In short, it was a business and pleasure combined and both aspects turned out very well.

However, I did something I feel ambivilent about. I visited a concentration camp and I havenÂ´t been able to sleep since. Rarely have I experienced such a raw emotion and intense pain. I wonder if I ever get over the things I saw.

On a lighter note, the scandale and soap-opera between Schroeder and Berlusconi made me laugh...

On returning, I also got a notice from one of the companies with whom I do business: Because of the recession they are not able to continue our collaboration, so itÂ´s back again searching, looking and finding another company, otherwise I loose quite a bit of my income.

But the last can be a blessing in disguise. I was becoming tired and drained of the beforementioned collaboration and I have a feeling I will find something better. I will, as usual, do the footwork and put my Higher Power to work.

I hope to hear from all of you. How have you been and how was your fourth of July?

Looking forward to hear from you. I missed you.:shades:

2stop · 07-12-2003, 12:21 PM

{{LILYA}}

Berlin must be so fascinating a place to visit!! I can't wait til I travel the world. It's the one thing I always enjoy doing. I was an Army brat and travelled quite a bit as a child. I was born in Hawaii and would love to visit there again.
Wow, I can only imagine how visiting a concentration camp would effect you! I can hardly watch it on TV and I am bawling and unable to sleep. The pain that a human can inflict on another is so sad and depressing to me. I don't understand it at all.
I think you're right that lost contract will open the door to another and far better oppotunity for you!! I will say a prayer for you that you find a better company.

Glad to hear you're back safe though. Take care of yourself.

Caveman · 07-13-2003, 08:58 AM

Welcome back. It was a little slow while you were gone.

I hope that you are sleeping by now. I guess the loss of business is a good thing and a curse. I always tell the people that I work with that we could have a great company except for the employees and the clients.

I think it is great that you went to a camp. The only way we avoid repeating the mistakes of the past is to learn about them.

I hope you are feeling better.

Lilya · 07-13-2003, 08:10 PM

This is so sweet, what a warm welcome back! Thanks, both of you.

IÂ´m feeling a lot better now, IÂ´ve slept and IÂ´m glad I went to the camp. Your words really helped, Caveman. Seeing the horrors in Ravensbrock - not the pictures in particulars who by their natures bring distance, but the items from the camp - was a gift and will stay with me forever. Something broke inside of me but is healing as well. ItÂ´s so true we have to learn from the past in order not to repeat the mistakes. The quote from Anna Frank helped a lot too.

IÂ´m also glad I lost this business. It may sound strange, but I felt stuck with the company - both employees and clients

- for a long time and now I have the opportunity to explore different and exciting options.

Tammie, IÂ´m sure you will make your dream come true and travel more. Hawaii sounds really exotic to me and definately on my list. Before that I have Australia and Marocco to look forward to. I always come back nourished and inspired from seeing new things. I loved visiting the States and will be visiting again shortly, as IÂ´m working with some American people for my film festival in autumn.
Now I can hear the fireworks from the Seine... Revolution jubilee has started a bit early.

I really appreciated your warm replies. Until later.

Love and light,

"Sleep of reason produces monsters" -Goya

2stop · 07-13-2003, 08:14 PM

Lilya · 07-13-2003, 08:16 PM

This is so sweet, what a warm welcome back! Thanks, both of you.

IÂ´m feeling a lot better now, IÂ´ve slept and IÂ´m glad I went to the camp. Your words really helped, Caveman. Seeing the horrors in Ravensbrock - not the pictures in particulars who by their natures bring distance, but the items from the camp - was a gift and will stay with me forever. Something broke inside of me but is healing as well. ItÂ´s so true we have to learn from the past in order not to repeat the mistakes. The quote from Anna Frank helped a lot too.

IÂ´m also glad I lost this business. It may sound strange, but I felt stuck with the company - both employees and clients

- for a long time and now I have the opportunity to explore different and exciting options.

Tammie, IÂ´m sure you will make your dream come true and travel more. Hawaii sounds really exotic to me and definately on my list. Before that I have Australia and Marocco to look forward to. I always come back nourished and inspired from seeing new things. I loved visiting the States and will be visiting again shortly, as IÂ´m working with some American people for my film festival in autumn.
Now I can hear the fireworks from the Seine... Revolution jubilee has started a bit early.

I really appreciated your warm replies. Until later.

Love and light,

"Sleep of reason produces monsters" -Goya

Use adversity

07-12-2003, 10:35 AM	#1 (permalink)
Lilya Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northen Europe and France Posts: 1,658	Back from Berlin - depression rearing itÂ´s head Hello to everyone kind enough to give me support and answering my posts. IÂ´m back from a wonderful and successful trip to Berlin. I loved the city; havenÂ´t visited since I was a wild teeanger and thrown out of the city by the German police. How wonderful to be back to a place where youÂ´ve been out of control and discover how great it is to visit places sober and in control. In short, it was a business and pleasure combined and both aspects turned out very well. However, I did something I feel ambivilent about. I visited a concentration camp and I havenÂ´t been able to sleep since. Rarely have I experienced such a raw emotion and intense pain. I wonder if I ever get over the things I saw. On a lighter note, the scandale and soap-opera between Schroeder and Berlusconi made me laugh... On returning, I also got a notice from one of the companies with whom I do business: Because of the recession they are not able to continue our collaboration, so itÂ´s back again searching, looking and finding another company, otherwise I loose quite a bit of my income. But the last can be a blessing in disguise. I was becoming tired and drained of the beforementioned collaboration and I have a feeling I will find something better. I will, as usual, do the footwork and put my Higher Power to work. I hope to hear from all of you. How have you been and how was your fourth of July? Looking forward to hear from you. I missed you.:shades: __________________ Use adversity Declare Independance Lilya

07-12-2003, 12:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,794	{{LILYA}} Berlin must be so fascinating a place to visit!! I can't wait til I travel the world. It's the one thing I always enjoy doing. I was an Army brat and travelled quite a bit as a child. I was born in Hawaii and would love to visit there again. Wow, I can only imagine how visiting a concentration camp would effect you! I can hardly watch it on TV and I am bawling and unable to sleep. The pain that a human can inflict on another is so sad and depressing to me. I don't understand it at all. I think you're right that lost contract will open the door to another and far better oppotunity for you!! I will say a prayer for you that you find a better company. Glad to hear you're back safe though. Take care of yourself. __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

07-13-2003, 08:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
Lilya Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northen Europe and France Posts: 1,658	Thanks Tammy and Caveman This is so sweet, what a warm welcome back! Thanks, both of you. IÂ´m feeling a lot better now, IÂ´ve slept and IÂ´m glad I went to the camp. Your words really helped, Caveman. Seeing the horrors in Ravensbrock - not the pictures in particulars who by their natures bring distance, but the items from the camp - was a gift and will stay with me forever. Something broke inside of me but is healing as well. ItÂ´s so true we have to learn from the past in order not to repeat the mistakes. The quote from Anna Frank helped a lot too. IÂ´m also glad I lost this business. It may sound strange, but I felt stuck with the company - both employees and clients - for a long time and now I have the opportunity to explore different and exciting options. Tammie, IÂ´m sure you will make your dream come true and travel more. Hawaii sounds really exotic to me and definately on my list. Before that I have Australia and Marocco to look forward to. I always come back nourished and inspired from seeing new things. I loved visiting the States and will be visiting again shortly, as IÂ´m working with some American people for my film festival in autumn. Now I can hear the fireworks from the Seine... Revolution jubilee has started a bit early. I really appreciated your warm replies. Until later. Love and light, "Sleep of reason produces monsters" -Goya __________________ Use adversity Declare Independance Lilya

07-13-2003, 08:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,794	{{LILYA}} __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

07-13-2003, 08:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
Lilya Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northen Europe and France Posts: 1,658	Re: Thanks Tammy and Caveman This is so sweet, what a warm welcome back! Thanks, both of you. IÂ´m feeling a lot better now, IÂ´ve slept and IÂ´m glad I went to the camp. Your words really helped, Caveman. Seeing the horrors in Ravensbrock - not the pictures in particulars who by their natures bring distance, but the items from the camp - was a gift and will stay with me forever. Something broke inside of me but is healing as well. ItÂ´s so true we have to learn from the past in order not to repeat the mistakes. The quote from Anna Frank helped a lot too. IÂ´m also glad I lost this business. It may sound strange, but I felt stuck with the company - both employees and clients - for a long time and now I have the opportunity to explore different and exciting options. Tammie, IÂ´m sure you will make your dream come true and travel more. Hawaii sounds really exotic to me and definately on my list. Before that I have Australia and Marocco to look forward to. I always come back nourished and inspired from seeing new things. I loved visiting the States and will be visiting again shortly, as IÂ´m working with some American people for my film festival in autumn. Now I can hear the fireworks from the Seine... Revolution jubilee has started a bit early. I really appreciated your warm replies. Until later. Love and light, "Sleep of reason produces monsters" -Goya Use adversity __________________ Use adversity Declare Independance Lilya

07-13-2003, 08:58 AM	#3 (permalink)
Caveman Paused Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Milwaukee WI Posts: 20	Welcome back. It was a little slow while you were gone. I hope that you are sleeping by now. I guess the loss of business is a good thing and a curse. I always tell the people that I work with that we could have a great company except for the employees and the clients. I think it is great that you went to a camp. The only way we avoid repeating the mistakes of the past is to learn about them. I hope you are feeling better.

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