"I'm so Depressed"

[BUTTERFLY-7]

Help Ya'll I'm so tire of fighting these U p's, and Downs,
I even get thoughts of wanting 2 B Dead
I'm so freaking tire, of fighting, at the begging the Meds
were working I don't know, Now I been taking them and I
feel like if I haven't take nothing,

and I don't want them to increase my milligrams
I feel like so Angry, and Mad, so many feelings, and emotions at the same time I can't even think stray I have no desire 2 do anything I'm soooo Angry!!!!!!!I Quit!!!!!I Can't no more!!!!!

[TTOSBT]

Butterfly,
I do not know what your DOC was but all I can offer is my experience. And that has been that it was only when I was able to connect with a power greater than myself, surrender and ask that my obsession and depression to be taken away that it was.
I know that this may sounds out there but I am telling you, I have been amazed and how easy it has been since I turned it over.
Good luck!!!

[nandm]

Butterfly, I am truly sorry you are struggling so right now. I wish I could change it for you. I hate the ups and downs of this disease as well. What helps me is to keep in mind that an up always follows a down that keeps me going during the downs.

Why do you not want the doctor to change the milligrams. It might be just what you need right now. Especially since the meds felt like they were working in the begining. It might just be that you need a little more now that the meds have settled in your system. Please speak with your doctor and allow him to help you even if it means a medication or dose change. This disease does not have to be intolerable. Life can go on despite it. It does not have to be constant misery. Please help yourself by allowing your doctor to help you.

[ladyamalthea]

Can you tell your doctor that you don't want your meds increased? Maybe he or she can recommend something else, or at least give you a professional opinion on the dosage that you need. Ultimately, though, you're the patient. You're the boss. If you tell them you don't want to increase your meds, they should listen, even if they do make a point to say that they disagree...

If you feel that uncomfortable, perhaps you should try a different doctor?

[Mkiz418]

I know exactly how you feel. I was in the same position last year and ended up in the hospital..and 2 more times that same thing has happened at school. I know how truly lonely you can sometimes feel in life, but you must remember that there ARE things you can do to relieve the pain. Is there anyone you can talk to, a friend or family member, that you can go to when you feel you cant go on? Sometimes it helps to talk it out with them. And if that doesnt work, there is always a therapist you can try, one that can help you get down to the bottom of why you are feeling how you do.

If anything, talking and knowing there are people who feel the same, like on here, is one of the most comforting things you may experience. It sounds like it wont work, but trust me it does.

*hugs*

[BUTTERFLY-7]

thanx u all for your support

[historyteach]

Butterfly...
I'm sorry your going through a hard time...
But, please know that it's quite common to have meds adjusted. Please see
Bipolar II, Mood Swings without Mania; Brain Tours; Stress and Depression; Hormones and Mood; and more... for more on this. Dr Phelps is well versed in this area, and has much to share.

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. We care...

Shalom!