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| | #1 (permalink) |
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What a horrible subject title eh? Well I'm feeling like it... Day 14 without booze, Day 13 without Lamictal. I know I'm sounding like a broken record, and I've been trying to do new things as best as I can, for example yesterday and through today I was reading Lord of the Rings The Hobbit book for like 5 hours *not straight, 129 pages I read*, I believe I read it back in 1998... amazing how ten years can pass. Anyway, reading it... reading the author's words, how grand he wrote... what he wrote about, made me feel like crap since I can't do that and feel like I don't understand many things about usual life things... words I don't understand... *remember all please realize I'm a high functioning autistic adult* I think I was in an ignorant bliss when I was younger so I didn't realize all my inadaquecies, but now I understand and realize how bad I really am perhaps? I don't know, I once felt about life that I never wanted it to end because it was so great, and now I have no problem with it actually ending someday with the way I'm feeling... all I'm saying is it's amazing how I feel this way, I feel purely, and truly... cursed.
__________________ "Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh, and I will cry. Happiness I can not feel, and love to me is so unreal." Loony from Rings of Power |
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| | #2 (permalink) |
| Crazy Cat Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Left Coast
Posts: 455
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Its only feelings not the truth. Sorry your still struggling. I never knew you were autistic, do you have any special abilities associated with your autism? I knew one guy with autism who could hear conversations at the other end of a crowded noisy hall. Amazing and he wasnt lip reading. good work on your sobriety bud
__________________ never stop growing |
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| | #4 (permalink) |
| To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,303
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(((Paulos))) Please try to focus on what you *can* do, not on what you cannot do. I cannot write like that author either, nor any other author for that matter! ![]() I always wanted to be a singer. Never had enough talent to do much more than the chorus in school, though, and now in the shower! LOL! So, I enjoy what I can, and it does bring me pleasure to sing to myself along with the stereo. What are your talents? Focus on those and allow them to grow. Search out other areas of interest that you can develop. Indeed, if you want to write, take a writing class and see how it goes. You may not become Shakespeare, but, you might surprise yourself too! ![]() Take it one step at a time, Paulos. You're doing great at the sobriety. So, it's a great time to start a new interest that will use your time positively. A new interest may be just the ticket to keep you on that path of sobriety. ![]() Shalom!
__________________ ![]() IMAGINE |
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| | #5 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 1,019
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As for the other stuff, I agree with 'teach.....look at the stuff you can do. Best of luck.
__________________ "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." - Frank A. Clark | |
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| | #6 (permalink) |
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Yeah... stuff I can do ... eat food, drink water, wash myself, play some games, clean a house kind of ... bleh... what an inspiration I am
__________________ "Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh, and I will cry. Happiness I can not feel, and love to me is so unreal." Loony from Rings of Power |
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| | #7 (permalink) |
Administrator |
There are things you can do Paulos. Why don't you give Vocational Rehabilitation a call? There are lots of services available to you. Your state has good programs available for adults with developmental disabilities. Why don't you take advantage of what's being offered?
__________________ ![]() ![]() “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We're afraid.” “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We will fall!” “Come to the edge.” And they came. And he pushed them. And they flew. Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918 |
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| | #8 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 1,019
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I still think about short-comings I have and how I coulda/woulda/shoulda done things differently, but that kind of thinking doesn't get my anywhere but down. I try and look at the things I can do and would like to do in the future when I am looking to think about myself. Sometimes the best we can do for ourselves is just get up in the morning, and give ourselves a shot. It doesn't happen every day, but I know that if I don't get out of bed, I most likely won't be able to do anything differently, and then I'll be stuck feeling the same way.
__________________ "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." - Frank A. Clark | |
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| | #9 (permalink) |
| Member |
sounds pretty true pedagogue, I'm always worried about short comings, inabilities, and my problems... especially comparing how I should have/could have done something... everyday... man it just never ends.
__________________ "Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh, and I will cry. Happiness I can not feel, and love to me is so unreal." Loony from Rings of Power |
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| | #10 (permalink) | |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 11,833
| Quote:
Shortcomings and inabilities? Well, working the 12 Steps has removed most of those insecurities from my life, but I know you're not wild about AA. So how about writing a gratitude list for what you do have. Like water to drink, food to eat, a roof over your head, games to play, etc. etc.?
__________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!" | |
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