BP Town -- Open to anyone who rides the rollar coaster Pt II

[nandm]

Originally Posted by historyteach

Don't get me wrong, I love my son, but, I cannot help him. He needs to help himself. I've done more than I can already to help him. It's up to him now.

You are so right. When my two oldest were drinking, drugging, and playing at prostitution although I love them I had to let them come to terms with their lives and find their own solutions as well. Fortunately for all of us it took only a few years. I do hope your son finds his solutions soon. It is miserable to be a parent and watch the self destruction of a child.

So, I think I"m going to NEED that exercise room today! To work off some steam! LOL!

Or you could just come by and help me finish the fence..
I have an exercise room in my basement that I haven't used in over a year.....I think nearly every day I should use it but then my mind goes to other things and I am off an running. Hope you get all your frustrations out and get some good exercise in.

[barb dwyer]

Hi everyone -

thought I'd share something that happened about a week ago.

MY next door neighbor, as everyone knows is the one with the computer, she has a grey manx. a grown male. WHen I first met him, it was hard for me, becuse it put me in mind of my Beloved, and I'm just not even finished grieving that little one yet.

And I"m sorry but once you've had a manx...
everything else is just a cat.

Anyhow -- his name is Smokie-
and I'm his step-owner.
So I have a step-cat now.
he climbs to fence from the downstairs apt - where he lives - and jumps into the big window on my back porch. He just visits for a bit, maybe a quick game of string or chase the aluminumfoil ball, petting, rubbing drool...then he pretty much heads back out.

But he's been visiting at all hours, because it's hot -
and I keep the back windows wide open.


I came hokmje form the grocery a couple of weeks ago- and there he was- in the house lying on the back of the chair that Poppy and Beloved used.

So the other day, I 'had a lie down' a nap in the afternoon, and woke up to pouring rain....

face-to face with Smokey.

He was in bed with me, and not three inches from my nose.
Just kinda looked at me like
'hey- howya doon?"

I really think he came up because of the thunder and lightning which is what woke me... how sweet is that?

So now when my neighbor goes out of town or is gonna be late for work, she texts me to make sure Smokey can come in if he needs to.
I even found a cat-step build onto the outside of the porch, with a bolted closed cat door.
That is open now.

Funny how The Infinite ...
sees to it we understand we're healing, isn't it?
And hwen we're ready for a little more....
it's provided.

I really thought I'd never be able to have another cat after Beloved.
So The Universe...
sends me a 'surrogate' to help me on the way to healing.

Kewl stuff, isnit?

I miss you {{{{{{{{{{all}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[historyteach]

Yea, Barb....
That *is* cool...

Thanks for sharing it with us!

Shalom!

[least]

I will have to tell my counselor next week about these constant anxiety attacks. I wake up feeling in a panic and shaky and restless. Feel sick to my stomach almost every day. Dizzy and lightheaded and no energy. Getting sick of this feeling sick all the time. Am eight days sober today and wanting to start feeling better but so far only feeling worse.

[least]

I also want to know why I'm having 'hallucinations' of my sense of smell and taste. I keep tasting and smelling wine, tho I've not had any for 8 days. I smell the same smell I used to notice when I'd been drinking. This comes and goes, it's not always like this, but it's scaring the hell out of me. Am I losing what's left of my mind?

I feel like my heart is racing but when I feel the beats with my hand they are always normal, yet I feel like it's racing and pounding. This is really scary.

[historyteach]

Least,
What meds are you on?
Do they have any known oralfactory effects?
Or any known anxiety effects?

I do strongly suggest you call your doctor tomorrow morning and talk to him/her about these symptoms. Though they *may* be symptoms of PAWS, (post acute withdrawal syndrome), they also may be symptoms related to your meds or something else entirely. So, a call to the doc is in order!

Let us know how you make out, ok?

Shalom!

[least]

I'm on zoloft for depression, risperdal for the bi polar, and neurontin for anxiety. But lately I just feel 'disconnected'. So hyper and nervous I feel like I'm 'buzzing'. Yes I will tell my counselor and ask her to tell the shrink.

[historyteach]

Least,

Please call the doctor yourself.
Getting a second hand report from the counselor is not the same, and the counselor cannot answer questions that you can, should the doc ask.

Remember, the doc is your partner in your health. And you cannot be a partner by proxy. You must be involved and take an active role.

I wish you the best.
Please let us know how you make out.

Shalom!

[least]

I will call him tomorrow, ok?

[historyteach]

Okie dokie!
I feel better now!

Shalom!

[hippyhippy]

Hi folks,

Least, I hope you have managed to phone the doc and got some sort of plan to beging feeling better.

Teach, I am so sorry you are having worries with your son. I imagine it must be really difficult for you.
Well done on the stopping smoking!

Barb, so nice to see you and that was such a lovely story. It is so nice you have a lovely surrogate manx to help you heal. ((((barb)))
Can I tell you a similar one? Not competing or anything, but I think you might appreciate.
I am going through a not so nice time just now. I am swinging in moods madly and having thoughts of OD'ing and worse regardless of whether I am feeling bad or good. They are pretty much constant. I tell you this to set the scene so to speak!
Feeling as I do, the TV was on in the background yesterday morning and Louis Armstrongs 'wonderful life' came on. I had a little smile to myself as it was one of my dad's favourites. We played it at his funeral. It used to make me sad, but it doesn't anymore. Anyway, a few hours later I had the radio on and on it came again! I mused to myself that my dad was trying to tell me something but I didn't really believe it! Well, a couple of hours later, my little un was watching kids TV and it came on again! I know it is just coincedence, but it was nice to imagine he was telling me that this is indeed a wonderful world and I should be sticking around on it!

Hope you are all well.
Hippy
xx

[historyteach]

It's a Wonderful World
Louis Armstrong aka Sachamo

I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see them bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....saying.. "How do you do"
They're really saying......"I love you."

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
They'll learn much more.....than I'll never know
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world

(instrumental break)

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....saying.. "How do you do?"
Theyre really sayin...*spoken* "I ....love....you."

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
*spoken*(you know they're gonna learn
A whole lot more than I'll never know)
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself .......what a wonderful world.

I just LOVE this song!!!
It has such beautiful meaning...
and truth!

Thanks for bringing it to my memory.

Shalom!

[hippyhippy]

It is beautiful Teach. Thank you for writing the words.
Hippy
xx

[least]

PLease pray for me that my situation can be resolved quickly. I am dealing with Social Security for my disability claim, and dealing with my heartless landlord over my past due rent. My anxiety is reaching unbearable heights and I am at a loss how to handle this stress. I am about to take my beloved dogs for a long walk but even so, I know that physical exercise is not going to remove my anxiety. I need your prayers. I am so lost and afraid and alone. I hate feeling so weak, but I am weak.

[historyteach]

(((Least)))

Have you called your doctor yet?
I'm getting very concerned about you...

Physical exercise does help anxiety.
So does meditation, eating properly, deep breathing, progressive relaxation etc...
But, prolonged anxiety isn't good. And your doctor needs to know that the meds aren't working.

Are you alone? Is there someone who can stay with you? If not, perhaps it's time to go to the hospital?

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you...

Shalom!

[nandm]

Hi everyone. Good to see all of you.

Least, I am especially glad to see you posting your concerns with us. Please, Please, talk with your doctor today. I would suggest writing down all the symptoms you are having as well as your concerns to you don't leave anything out. The more information you provide your doctor the better he can address your problem. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there it does get better although sometimes it takes a lot of work, patience, and sometimes tears to get there. It is well worth it though and you deserve to feel better.

Teach, I love the song too.

Hippy, always good to see you.

Barb, I am glad to see your posts. The goats have been fainting a lot since you aren't around

I have been feeling better. I am glad the this last low only was really bad for about a day. I have slowly each day been feeling more like myself. Today so far is good. I do still have to call the credit card people and try to negotiate a settlement today but I think I am in a decent frame of mind to do so. My g/f is really worried about me having that much money available with my bipolar disorder. She is worried I am going to go on a shopping spree rather than take care of these bills. I can't say I blame her. She did not realize how deep I was in debt until I showed her this weekend. She is very frugal with money. A very good money manager. I know that if I get the urge to spend I can just give her my bank card and let her hold it until it passes. I am tempted though to just close my account and have her hold the money for me and pay the bills for me since I never know when that urge will hit. But so far so good.

I did get some more jobs lined up. I also looked into getting a general contractors license. It doesn't look like it would be any problem. I spoke with my g/f about it this weekend and she said it was the most logical and feasible solution to my PTSD job problem she has heard from me yet. She thinks it would be a good idea especially since I am doing a lot of the things a general contractor would do anyway. Plus I enjoy the freedom of the work and I love to fix things and work with my hands as well as not being afraid of hard physical labor (as long as it is not all the time . That would also give me a solution to my school financial aid problem.

Well, hi ho, hi ho, it's off to call the creditors I go.

[liveweyerd]

So much to address here, will have to come back.

But, Hippy, it is nothing to be mortified about. I used a site that helped me to nurture and love my innocent and repressed inner self, and it helped me tremendously. I will have to look up the site for you. I talked to her, more importantly listened to her and loved and honored her. It has been very healing.

Judith, sending you the best.

Least, I do hope you get the help you deserve!

I DO have baby fish. Through a magnifying glass they are two eyes on separate stems with a tail, very alien looking! YAY!
Got some new mommies and now have another 3 pair in love.

Spent 2 days clearing out the house, then a 26 ft truck pulled up with inheritance furniture and I spent two days being a donkey who takes directions. And SIL and I are now getting along ok. (I worked and kept my mouth shut LOL), one day down with a migraine, the next with dehydration, low blood pressure and exhaustion. Still a bit tired but will begin poking around putting things away. This will take extreme engineering...more furniture than floor space!

Teach, sigh. It's just so typical for those people to do that!

Thanks for the lizard info, Cindi.....will do.

Okay, I have got to get moving on something!

hugs to all,
Tena

[cinderellawkids]

CONGRATS ON THE BABY FISHIES???? What color were there parents? Is Daddy doing a good job keeping them in bubble nest?

I always love critters where the dad takes care of the babies

[liveweyerd]

Both veil tails. Dad is medium blue with big yellow centers in his fins, mom is royal blue.
Dad was great. They are 8 days old today, free swimming. Feeding baby brine shrimp, they are doing well. With a magnifying glass I can start to see dorsal fins.

Thanks for the song teach! It is humming in my head and I am headed out to have coffee at the patio table and watch the sun rise.

[historyteach]

Happy Forth of July, everyone!!!
Have a safe and happy Independence Day!!!

Tina,
I got something WONDERFUL in the mail...
Thanks!!!!

And I *finally* found the post card of our little original post office,(1800s)/store, (1900s)/library room, (2000s), here in our little neck of the woods... There's only a few left. It was drawn by a neighbor and printed up by the community club. I'll be sending it to you... :>)

Question: Do you want a stamp on it or do you want it mailed in an envelope? Either way is fine with me...It *is* an original and a piece of Americana, so, your choice. ;>)

Shalom!

[liveweyerd]

A regular stamp is fine. It will get a special place.

So, I gotta beg...did you like the compilation? The other is controversial, but I love it.
Haven't gotten feedback from others. Maybe they are frisbees?

Love these early mornings! And often my only chance to get my own peace and space...and access to MY computer! LOL

Just tween us, I think my hubs is crazy. At least he tried to drive me crazy yesterday.
I slept with the fishes. LOL

Speaking of, I got up in the middle of the night and one was floating on her side (I indulged her with too many bloodworms ) but lowered the water gave her a couple of peas and she is fine this morning.

45 minutes to daylight and counting......

We had such a thunderstorm last night I don't know what they did about the fireworks, but am hoping for a sunny day and to see the rest of my caladiums pop up.

Coffee is perked and waiting.

hugs,
Tena

[liveweyerd]

Passive agressive ways to pay your mate back for being a jerk:

Start the washing machine at 5:30-6:00 am. It has a seismic reading on spin cycle.
Turn the stereo on and go outside.
Wash dishes, clink, clank, clunk...and since it is his job to put them away and there are more dishes and fishbowls than counterspace, put a towel on the floor and dry them there.
Dumb one....move all the furniture yourself because you don't NEED any help. (that was yesterday)
When he leaves stuff on the bathroom counter, dump them in his lap while he is in the recliner. (Recovered thrower, no more softball pitches). I currently place them on the washing machine.

Really! I was really, really good at keeping my mouth shut and me out of the way but at one point I could not resist:
"Overruled. Lack of substantive evidence." Well......I thought it was funny!

Outside!

hugs,
Tena