BP Town -- Open to anyone who rides the rollar coaster Pt II

[nandm]

Hippy, I am glad you feel comfortable enough to share your feelings with us. Sometimes it is a positive thing to let feelings out. It can take some of the power and negativity out of them. I wish you well and hope that this passes and you can get to feeling better soon.

Live, always great to see you post. Sounds like the wall of postcards is neat. I bet you will enjoy the furniture. Take care.

Teach, good to see you here a BP town

Cinder, you menagarie sounds wonderful. Although a 7 foot long lizard sounds like a bit much for me.... :rof

Take care all.

Judith

[hippyhippy]

Thank you guys,

Tena, I am glad you got the postcard. I will send another soon from my home city of Edinburgh. I don't live there now, but it is where I grew up. I am going away in the summer too to another UK beauty spot. I shall send one from there.

Listen up! LOL I can have compassion for you if I want! (Sticks tongue out)

Thanks (((tena)))
thanks teach and Judith too.

I am less angry today which was a lot of my problem. It has reduced to anger as opposed to rage. I was stupid. I did a silly thing. I got all worked up about my meds and decided the drug companies and my pdoc were trying to poison me into addiction to make me a compliant member of society. I got so worked up, I stopped my mood stabilisers. I know I said I wouldn't without pdocs help but I convinced myself if I told him he would somehow manage to get me onto more quetiapine. (which I still do believe) I managed to convince myself I was being sensible by not stopping them all at once. ie I am still taking anti depressants and anti psychotics. I realise I have been irresponsible but still I cannot bring myself to call pdoc. I read an article about drugs, drug companies, addiction, withdrawals and I cannot get it out of my head. It was a really well researched article made between two leading mental health charities designed to inform people about some of the aspects of drugs that people don't necessarily know. For example, withdrawal off an anti psychotic can cause psychotic symptoms even if a person has never experienced one in their life, which are then further treated by anti psychotics! This really disturbs me greatly and I must confess, my ultimate aim is to stop them but I am terrified. I realise I have my family to think of so people should really know what is going on but I am scared that I will end up on more anti psychotics as a result of coming off them.

I don't know what to do next to be honest. This is day 9 off the mood stabilisers and I have gone through the physical side effects...upset tum and headaches. They are passed now. I have had extreme anger, but that seems to be diminishing. I was going to be coming off them anyway, so I have just kind of brought it a bit forward. Apart from anything else, I don't want to confess to my pdoc what I have done, yet if the anger doesn't dissapate completely I am going to have to consider letting doc know.

As you will be able to tell....I am mighty confused at present.

Hippy
x

[liveweyerd]

We took the stitches out of my lip two days after I got out...they were not needed.
And Friday I put my head in hubs lap and said take out these staples....3, they were not needed either. Scalp cuts just bleed alot. Still dizzy from concussion and have headaches, but no big deal.

The postcards are going up like a ceiling border.

The bed we are getting is FABULOUS! An heirloom, 1850 oak carved. Needed too. My old queen is so broke down I wake up in the morning with a back ache. The box springs and mattress with this one is heavenly. And with hubs bad back......
At least I hope they bring the bed. SIL HATES me to the point I find it laughable and am often tempted to egg her on and provoke her. Rotten things....like she is terrified of the Arabic race and I have a friend who is an independent contractor in Afghanistan, I was SO tempted to have him send her a postcard for her birthday! What I really do is include her in my mass newsy emails. Hubs doesn't even like her, his own sis. LOL I don't much like mine either. My sisters are here!

Judith, I want you on my side! LMAO Because of your response about painting the utility trailer pink WITH purple stripes.
The dude wants to stay clear of me because I am crazy and scary. LOL And he DOES need to stay clear of me. But I made sure of that. Last time we visited the Watering Hole
(the hangout) he came in and stood at the table with 6 of the "power" guys, I walked up to him and said very calmly, cooly and purposely "Reggie, if I ever ran across you in the desert dying of thirst I would give you Zesta saltines" I was feeling bad about this, then yesterday I listened to Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight" and he sings "if you were drowning I would not lend a hand"...............cause yeah, I know what you did. It was after this that he retaliated by sending a heavy to try to "repo" the trailer. He hasn't returned the gun he borrowed either, worth more than the trailer....and the heavy was full of lies. Hubs is livid about this.

My fish are happy this morning, so I will treat them with shrimp today.

Back later,

Tena

[cinderellawkids]

Morning. I feel good today although had a migraine all weekend. I wanted to clarify my new lizard is only 18 inches now, but yes full grown he could be 7 feet, its kinda exciting.

Live, lizard eggs? They are cute when they hatch...the little brown garden lizards Im guessing...

[nandm]

Good to see each of you.

Hippie, I think you might be as hard headed as I am. Although Live's description of her head injury might put her as the number one hard head of this bunch... :rof I do hope that things settle down for you soon. I know that my trying to change my meds without my doctors input did not work out well for me but I truly hope that it winds up working out well for you. It sounds like things might be calming somewhat.

Live, the postcard border sounds so creative. I would never have thought of that. I had dizziness and headaches for 2 years after my head injury when I quit drinking. But mine was pretty severe. I do hope your dizziness clears much quicker as it can be quite miserable and frustrating. The bed sounds beautiful and the added bonus of a better mattress is fantastic. I made my g/f buy new mattresses 2 years ago. We had the mattresses that she had for over 15 years and her mom had before that. Definately not the best for the back. I love the ones we have now. Much better for my back. Of course the youngest beagle, Gracie, thinks that is where she should live (forget about the couches she wants to hold down the bed all day and night...:rof).

Cinder, I hate migranes. I have had them since I was 6 years old. In the past 5 years though they have significantly improved. My doctor gave me a medicine called Maxalt MLT. It is a tablet you dissolve under your tongue when you think you feel a migraine starting. I very rarely have to take more than one tablet to keep the migraine at bay. It might be worth speaking to your physician about if the meds you are using are not preventing your migraines. 18 inches sounds much more manageable than 7 feet. I bet he is cute at that size.

Take care everyone. I am off to see the doc about my back. I finally settled last week with the insurance company. That is a relief although I think they could have been fairer. Oh well, life is what it is sometimes. I talked to an old friend today, it was wonderful to talk with her. She is one of those people that just has such a good energy about them. I don't know how she manages it with all the medical issues she suffers from but I am grateful to know her as she, like many of you, are a bright spot in my life.

Thanks to each of you for being a part of my world!

Judith

[liveweyerd]

Hugs,

I waved a postcard for the neighbor to see walking back the lane from the postbox!

Since we gave away our tv, hubs has the computer on all the time. So my chance is when I get up earlier than he does. 4:30am this morning.

Spent all day yesterday until it was too dark to see the shovel working on my garden.
I am trying to imitate an European courtyard. In US we plant the tall flowers along the house for example and put smaller in front. I am making a perimeter of tall plants so that you can't see the flower garden and patio table until you enter it. That's the plan anyway. And our friendly neighbor is a landscaper! We get leftovers all the time. Hope he comes home with more brick he ripped out soon. When I would start to get tired, sweaty and dirty, I would come in, drink a glass of tea and wash a sinkload of dishes, then go back out.
I am trying to convince myself to get trucking on housework before it gets light. I am still tired tho'. Was waked by hubs having a nightmare and me needing to wake him up, then he goes right back to sleep and I can't do that.

A year before I got divorced in '93....since my last name is pronounced wire, I put up barbed wire as a ceiling border. Sounds crazy but really I thought it looked awesome.

Cindi, I hope they are the bright green ones, but it doesn't matter really. I do want males with the dewlap sp?

Bad luck with the female bettas although the males are thriving.

Hubs said to me last night "Bet you a hundred dollars, if I had a hundred dollars" And I said, "Yeah, and I would spend it all in one day.....I think I would go to Wal-mart lawn and garden section." He says "You'd still come home with fish" LMAO I had to admit that I would.
Today they all get baths, they love water changes! Amusing....if I put my hand over one bowl, all eight on that shelf notice and perk up and start looking for food.

Time flies! It's nearly 6.....I've got to perk coffee and get started at something!
I have two small buckets of caladium bulbs to plant today and some cannas, he's bringing sunflowers next.

Boy, am I grateful for my welbutrin which overcomes the lethargy that comes with the other antidepressants!

Love you!
Tena

[historyteach]

((Hippy))

I thought you had decided to stay on the meds? What changed?
Are you ok?
Please do let someone know.

Live,
The courtyard sounds lovely!


Shalom!

[cinderellawkids]

enjoy your gardening Live and you fish and lizards.

A bit of info, lizards love to eat roaches!!! and they are good for them too. I love having wild lizards around knowing thats what they eat

[BUTTERFLY-7]

Hi every one is been a long time since I posted in this thread

[liveweyerd]

You know I got to thinking, I wish I could have gone thro' a high tech metal detector before we took the staples out! LMAO

Thanks for the lizard info, Cindi!

Now I want rabbits....for the poop....it is the very best fertilizer!
I feed the plants now with the fish water, I change water often, they love their baths.

No European courtyard is complete without trellis, including a roof one, covered in ivy or such, we would use philidendreons.

Danny was joking that I even walk the fish! Phoo on him, I changed the water and took them out to the patio table...an experiment and to raise the water temperature. They loved it!

We were looking at Shelties on the net this evening. I want a pup so I can train him very strictly, I want a working dog. No toys etc......a daydream, they are so expensive!

We wore ourselves out today and took a late nap...I was going to stay up and work on the house but am out of cigarettes. Thank won't work! So I guess I will go back to bed.

[hippyhippy]

Live, you sound such a creative person. I bet your border looks great.

Cinders, wow at the potential giant lizard!

Nadm, seeing old friends can be so therapeutic. I have a friend I don't see often at all but when we do it is like we start up from where we left off!

Hi butterfly. How you doing?

Teach, to be honest, I don't know what is going on in my head just now except that I feel compelled/confused/scared. I am on a self destructive collision course with disaster and I know I have no one to blame but me. I keep on trying to tell someone but compulsion and fear holds me back. I don't feel depressed, I don't feel high, I don't even feel angry any more (although my fuse is short), I don't feel paranoid......I just cannot bring myself to put another one of those pills in my mouth but am so scared to tell people that I have stopped them. I think, possibly, it is guilt too that stops me.
I haven't stopped all my meds, only the mood stabilisers. I am still taking anti depressants and anti psychotics.

Hippy
xx

[nandm]

Got overheated and dehydrated yesterday doing a yard so not up to par today. Will write more later when I am feeling better. Going to get off the computer for now.

[cinderellawkids]

Wow Live, you like animals now? LOL

My mom has me bring her gallons of turtle pond water to use as fertilizer, she kept wondering why my flowers were so pretty then my uncle told her he uses my cousins rabbit poo and that she should take advantage of my pond.

My new lizard "Rex" is really cool you guys, and boy does he eat!!! He also, thinks Im a tree.

[hippyhippy]

Hope you feel better soon nadm. Rest well.

Cinders, LOL at your REX thinking you are a tree. I assume he climbs up you?

Hippy
xxx

[cinderellawkids]

yes, he climbs up my arm on to my shoulder, under my hair, down my back then around my waist and back up

[nandm]

Rex sounds great. My daughters used to catch small lizards when we lived in Arkansas. They would catch them when we went on hikes then put them in pop cans so they couldn't get out. I would always make them let them go though before we left. I am glad my middle daughter is working toward being a vet. I have always had a love for animals and wanted at one point to be a vet. I still will find a way to work with animals even if it is just training dogs.

Live, your postcard brightened my day. I have been between the fridge, couch, and bed today other than to check the mail. The postcard helped me feel better.

Butterfly, good to see you check in. Miss you here

Hippy, you are still in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
Teach truly has some good suggestions well worth listening to.

Well found out what is wrong with me. My blood pressure has been running high so my doc put me on medicine for it on Monday. I haven't felt right since then. Had some dizziness and general weakness. Well I got the bright idea to spend 4 hours working in the neighbors yard and of course the only thing I drank was a diet coke before I started and ate a couple pieces of cheese. The blood pressure med also acts as a diuretic. So needless to say my blood pressure dropped drastically because I became dehydrated. I spent 2 hours on the bathroom floor after throwing up last night. My g/f was ready to call an ambulance but I would not let her. I knew if I just laid there long enough the dizziness would pass and I could get up long enough to get to bed. I have to say though that I did get worried when it didn't get better for so long. It was like having one of those hangover mornings only 100 times as bad. Today, I am just drained. Spoke with the doc though and I am not to take any more of this med, too bad I took my pill this morning. She will start me on something else next week when this is out of my system. I do hope I feel better tomorrow as I still have work to do. Have to finish building shelves for the shed that I cleaned out last Friday. Have to haul a load of stuff to the dump and recycler. Have a lawn I am scheduled to do tomorrow. For now though I am just going to lay here and watch a movie whatever is on the free download from netflix. Take care everyone.

Judith

[liveweyerd]

checking in, bedtime so I will share my day's stories tomorrow.

Just a tip but detergent water like from the dishwasher or my sink is great for plants too, it helps keeps bugs away.

I always put my coffee grounds around the flowers too.

Busy, Busy day. Then hubs and his sis got in a horrible argument over the phone. I tried to mediate but she hates me with a passion. So that's tomorrow's story. I have got to get to sleep, burning the candles at both ends too many days, but I am determined to have everything, EVERYTHING about the house and garden perfect by Saturday nite.

Another FYI....staples in your head, don't know how they do it but they fasten together in back just like a stack of stapled papers so you can't pull them out (I just found another one)...you have to snip them in half and remove them in two pieces.

Great karma day.

Personal mail is nice, I mailed out a bunch today. Won't have time again until after the first of the month.

Hubs is talking in his sleep. Bet ya a dollar he is dreaming about his sis, cause he marched out of the room and went to bed like a fire breathing dragon.

Sweet dreams to me!

[historyteach]

Hippy,

Teach, to be honest, I don't know what is going on in my head just now except that I feel compelled/confused/scared. I am on a self destructive collision course with disaster and I know I have no one to blame but me.

This isn't about blame. It's about being responsible for your own health and well being.

I keep on trying to tell someone but compulsion and fear holds me back.

Face your fear and it will go away. You have nothing to fear, but the fear itself, and it will feed only on itself. When I made the decision to stop the meds, years ago, I placed them all in a bag and took them straight to my doc and told them to keep them. Same with Barb.

I don't feel depressed, I don't feel high, I don't even feel angry any more (although my fuse is short), I don't feel paranoid......I just cannot bring myself to put another one of those pills in my mouth but am so scared to tell people that I have stopped them. I think, possibly, it is guilt too that stops me.
I haven't stopped all my meds, only the mood stabilisers. I am still taking anti depressants and anti psychotics.

Just remember, you and your doctor are responsible for your well being. Your doctor is your partner in your health. But, the doc cannot be your partner in that if you keep him/her in the dark. Please be open and talk to him/her. You're not a child and you have a right to make any decision you'd like to make. You will soon discover if it's the right one or not.

Shalom!

[historyteach]

Judith,
Make sure you bring plenty of ice water with you when you go on these jobs. Getting dehydrated is nothing to fool around with. In fact, when you get thirsty, it's the first sign of getting dehydrated. Be careful, please...
That must have been frightening! Glad you are taking care of yourself, and getting a different med!

Live, I didn't know that dish water could be used for the plants! Is it just for outdoors, or house plants too? And the coffeegrounds? I put them in a compost, to make dirt. But, I've never put them straight on the plants. Cool!

My lettuce is so big, and nice now. My spinach is bolting, cuz, it got to hot so early. It went to seed. I just got some cantelope to plant, and I'm going to get some zuccinni so I can make zuccini bread.

My herb garden is beautiful right now! Camomile and chive in bloom; everything else just thriving. The early heat, and lots of rain this past week have really helped the gardens.

Well, gotta get ready for work. Today's the last day. YEA!!!

Shalom!

[liveweyerd]

Teach, the dishwater, grounds and leftover coffee and tea are super for both indoor and outdoor plants. I don't have any indoor plants.

LOL, I sent Windysan a cd in my bulk mailing yesterday and put it in a big envelope full of styrofoam peanuts. It went to his office, but I can hope he opens it! He is such a hoot, but has anyone ever got the last laugh on him?

I decided it is time to address this situation with sister in law. I thought about it and wrote her three emails. There is a good chance she will not read them, but she should.
Later on I will post them on here because I would like some honest feedback.

Cindi, now you can't go telling people who know me face to face about the animals, hate to ruin my reputation, y'know? LOL But the description of the lizard crawling on you gave me goosechills. But I would love to watch! LOL

I really like decorating houses and am good at it, have done it for a couple of people. For my sis before things got rocky.....but I sent her to bed with a book while I did it.
I said if you don't like what I have done you can change it...but I won't have them around interfering! Actually the way I have moved around I have decorated a bunch of places. My sis (while things were still good) used to joke that I couldn't be anywhere for 2 weeks without re-doing it. And, yes, that is the first thing I did with the suite in Argentina. Then when I move I give most of it away, except for the special mementos or especially favored pieces.

Maybe next week I will have time to go to battle with the hospital and the ambulance service. I am not paying for any of it and I have quite a case.

Then we are going to settle this business with this jerk over the utility trailer and Danny's pellet gun. I plan to play hardball...as in through the courts. He is a cocky bailsbondsman, we wouldn't want to get charged with anything or he would lose his license and his money would dry up in no time.

I am very worried about Shutterbug!

My schedule for today is impossible, but as hubs always tells me I am one very determined woman. but I get to running like a chicken with it's head cut off, even with a list, because I have too many things on my mind.

If SIL or BIL doesn't contact us, I will print out the emails and mail them and send another. This is absurd. Hubs thinks we get the dining room table, I don't remember what was agreed. But I need to know. The kitchen/dining room area is one space and I am putting a computer desk and work station against the wall where one would logically put a dining room table. How much rearranging and organizing do I need to do? Do I move the wicker baker's rack? or maybe the decorative glass topped table with a hidden drawer? I have very limited space here! Are they even going to bring things this weekend after the argument? I need to know!

Then I need to address a situation with an old friend who spoke inappropriately to me last week, drunk as a skunk.

Then, I am going to cash in the get a massage free card sis sent me for Valentine's Day and I have been saving.

Cindy, if I email you those emails, can you copy and paste them here, I can't for the life of me figure out how to do that on this computer.?
It's almost to the point we need to call in Jimmy Carter for his peace negotiations!