BP Town -- Open to anyone who rides the rollar coaster Pt II

[nandm]

Up late again, having trouble sleeping from the back pain. It has really gotten inflammed carrying my dog everywhere she needs to go. She is not supposed to walk at all. She was doing better today after the shot last night but then while I was running an errand she decided to jump off the bed. She has never jumped off the bed and I never dreamed she would try. They have always used the hope chest to jump on to get up and down with and I had moved that away to keep her from jumping. Well of course jumping flared her back up again. But she is resting quietly right now so hopefully it was just a minor setback. Time for me to take some more meds for mine. She is 45 pounds still and picking that up and carrying it out to the bathroom, up on the bed, down on the floor, and anywhere in between has done a number on my back, either that or I am having sympathy pains....lol. Oh well, this too shall pass. I just keep her on the floor in the bedroom now when I leave with her dog bed as I know the bed is too high for her to jump up to. She did well with that as I put the dog gate up so my daughters rat terrier could not get to her. He is a spastic little thing.

I am a little embarrased about sharing my pictures in my post above. They are special to me but really wouldn't mean much to anyone else. Ohhh, what confidence we in the mental health arena have...lol.

Take care everyone.

[hippyhippy]

Don't be embarassed about sharing your pictures, I am glad you did. Your pictures are lovely, I especially like the tiger. If I had a talent like that, I would be sharing!
I hope you continue to get something out of your oils. Art can be very therapeutic.
Hippy
xx

[nandm]

Hippy, thank you for your kind words. I too love the tiger as he is one of the best paintings I ever did. I did do a friends horse's head portrait when I was 16. I wish I still had it but hopefully they still are enjoying it. I look back on the work that I did at that age and wonder what could have been as I was doing paintings at the age of 15, 16 that many people could not have done at 30. I don't know if I will ever be able to do that quality of work again but I am seriously considering giving it a try once more. I do love animals and many of my early paintings were portraits of friends animals. It is relaxing to just let the mind go and allow the body to flow with the paint into a beautiful animal. The feelings that painting produced for me are slowly coming back to me now. It might be a adjunct to meditation for me....who knows. I will never be a Van Gough but I can be a Judith... lol

Take care. I am so glad you are back home and posting again. You were missed during your hospital stay. You are a wonderful and kind person

[hippyhippy]

Thank you Judith, that made me feel quite emotional.

I really do hope you get something out of your art. I go to an art therapy group. I am not very good at painting but I find it really calming to get myself engrossed in a piece of work. Recently I was painting something really dark...it wasn't pretty by any means but it was a true reflection of my feelings at the time. Unfortunately the group has not been on for a few weeks cos the therapist is ill. I really miss it.

I would not be Hippy if I did not have a question to pose! So here goes for my question of today! LOL
What do people think causes BP? Do people think it is purely a chemical reaction in the brain? An inherited illness? A result of earlier life trauma? A combination of factors?
I have posed this question elsewhere. I am really interested in what people think. I suppose it comes from what my psychologist said yesterday.

Hippy
xx

[liveweyerd]

WOW! and WOW! again, NandM....those painting are marvelous! I hope you display them prominently and proudly! PS...there IS a market for oils...more than any other kind of paints. Because it is harder to work with. Everyone now wants to use acrylics.

Hippy, Shutterbug had done the most research on bipolar of anyone I know here....visit her journal and ask her...

My husband and I are beside ourselves! He had a hauling trailer, loaded down with a tool box full of hand tools, a compressor, a new weight set, refrigerater..who knows what...it was parked at a friend's house. She pulled it out and set it beside the road and then another "friend" of Danny's came along and said he was to pick it up and she told him, take it she was tired of it being there. So all of it has been stolen!

Then the landlord got ugly and insulting to Danny....demanding a date we were leaving because they would have to do so much work to fix the rental trailer back up. Pretty much said we were slobs.
I spent yesterday working on fixing things back to the colors and style they had it.
We could have sold the sofa (like new) in the camper, but no,....I brought it in here, as well as Bali metal blinds to replace the cheap plastic ones that were here. I brought the microwave from the camper here (there was no microwave when we moved in) I bought a very nice shower curtain and liner (they had a cheap plastic one) and installed it and have been spending money and redecorating in here so it would be better than it was when we moved in. Never mind all the plumbing work we did and paid for all the water leaked! Bought a matching swag lamp, etc, etc, etc.
Oh, and he told us what a crappy camper we had bought and it would cost us more than rent to live in it.

What the dude doesn't know...yet...is that the other renter next to us is moving out this month also. (At least we told them we were planning to!) The other renter is landlord's hero! And he has much more stuff out in the yard and etc. When we told neighbor we were fixing the trailer back up, he asked "why would you do that""

Danny had asked many times to move the trailer here and landlord said no...when Danny told him about the theft, he said it had nothing to do with him.

Danny is furious, I find some irony in it, he has a low opinion of us, but doesn't want to lose our rent money!

Damn, we really needed to use that trailer today to move things to storage unit and to pick up the loveseat we bought for the camper and to sell some furniture!

We actually spoke on the phone to both so-called friends. I screamed at the guy who stole the trailer and he laughed. And the other, I never dreamed her capable of lying (which we have established) or being an accessory to theft?

And BTW...our range hasn't worked for over a month, because the propane tank and the range leaks gas and landlord won't do anything about it until we pay $200 to refill the tank......which is not our responsibility....we used maybe $30 worth of gas.

Hubs and I are going to get into an argument about money today.
I am still set on making everything in the rental perfect.

We are also going to file charges on the theft...and I wonder if the friend who told him go ahead and take it is an accessory?

[hippyhippy]

With friends like that hunny, who needs enemies eh? That is so low. I can't understand the mentality of people who treat other human beings like that.

Your landlord sounds a right pillock. You will be better off away. I think many landlords try to make out their property was so much better when their tenants moved in. It is a cheap way for them to get it looking better than ever.

I hope you get somewhere with your filing charges.

Hippy
xx

[nandm]

Karma......will get them in the end. Selfish, self centered, dishonest people eventually have karma catch up with them. They tend to miss out on true friendships because they only pick people that they can use then throw them out when they are done.

Live, you are too good of a person to waste your time with people like that. It sounds like you are better off with them out of your life. Unfortunately people who are honest, generous, and sincere many times wind up getting taken advantage of because of their good qualities. It has taken me a while to learn to be careful who I am generous with. I am also careful about knowing who in my life is an aquaintance and who is a friend. I am fortunate that I have true friends in my life today as when I was drinking I did not have many. Aquaintences are nice, but they tend to be the ones that I am more careful about as there is usually a reason I consider them aquaintences rather than friends. Today I have friends I know I can count on to be there rooting me on when the chips are down and be happy for me when things are going well expecting nothing.

Thank you all for you kind comments on my painting and oil pastel pictures. It is a shame I lost all my art supplies years ago except one set of oil pastels I bought after my wreck in 2001. But I am becoming motivated to start purchasing a little at a time to get started again. I am no Van Gough but I do need something to relax and destress. I am hoping it will help with my PTSD. When I get started again if anyone has a pet they want a portrait of let me know I will give it my best shot. Might be a while before I get to that point though.

[least]

Nandm, I know what you mean about not being able to erase your dog's pain. I'd gladly take the pain of my dogs as I can 'reason' it out but dogs supposedly don't, they just feel like sh!t and can't describe it to us, unless we speak 'dog'.

Today is a very manic day. Had been going thru some bad depression but now I'm happy as a lark and energetic as hell. Well I guess I'd rather be manic and get things done and smile instead of being exhausted and so depressed.

Took care of something important this morning that I'd missed out on in August. So now I'm set for a bit in that area.

Thank you to all of you for being here and for listening to me, and for caring.

[liveweyerd]

Yes, this morning I decided to not waste energy on the negative, nothing would come of pressing charges and yes, karma.

[nandm]

Least, I am glad you were having a better day yesterday. I find that I prefer those days when I am a little on the manic side to those where I am in the depressive side. At least I can function in the manic end.

Did something nice for myself and someone else today. Sent a package to a friend for her new house. Hopefully it will make it feel warm like a home should be. For me I went out and bought some oil paints, brushes, and canvas'. Don't know if I will still be able to do anything worth while but it is time to enjoy something that was relaxing for me before I spent so many years drunk.

Take care all.

[liveweyerd]

What happy news, Least!
And you too, NandM!

I have been tired all day. A little depressed. It will pass.

hubs was cracking me up today! It was sprinkling and I carried a precious photo out to the camper without thinking and it got water sprinkled on it! OH NO! With hubs being a photographer I hand it to him and say quick fix it, he says he needs a damp paper towel...I get the paper towel walk to the faucet and there is no water in the holding tank yet...I give him this stupid look and he said...Hold it out the door EDITH! LMAO

Then I have a two ft tall set of the speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil monkeys.
He says he is going to put them in the window in the back of the camper and wants to hook up red lights in the eyes on the outer two that are attached to the brakes and turn signals. I laughed so hard there was only one answer....DO IT!

[hippyhippy]

Just popping in to say Hi.
very tired today but what do I expect? I overdid my limit of one glass of wine last night and I know I cannot do it. I didn't have a lot, but combined with meds, it knocks me for six.
I really should go back to none, not one.
Love to you all.
Hippy
xx

[BUTTERFLY-7]

Heloooooo is Been a long time I Posted at B.P.town how is everybody doing

[liveweyerd]

Yesterday we phoned the police with the list of items and the trailer taken...worth about $5000. Because it was not stolen from our property he said he could not pursue it criminally, we would have to go civil.
This, not allowing people to steal from me is part of my set of boundaries.

Then, sigh, our inheritance check was supposed to be in by the end of this week, so we have spent our money fixing things up to move and are now in quite a financial dilemna.

When we went to get the big boat yesterday, she had piled up stuff in front of the gate, along the path, and against the boat making it as difficult as possible. I was not much help and the time came after 4 hours that I knew hubs, who is not well anyway, was on the verge of collapse and possible heat stroke. We left. He has gone back this morning with the very nice young and strong neighbor man who has a second truck for the other boat and a compressor for the trailer tire that keeps going flat.
She practically had a party at her house while we were there and had some messed up doper keep coming out to "keep and eye on us". I am still in some disbelief because Danny has known her for over 35 years and I for 3 and we would have sworn our lives upon it that she was not capable of this. The messed up doper, we are sure, is in possession of much that was on the trailer. She was grinning. ????????

Danny is hurt to the core and asks what have we done to have all these things happen?
I am sick about the money, because I looked at over 15,000 items to find just what I wanted on ebay and owe them and cannot pay it now.

On the good side, I got a really good night's sleep last night, much needed.

Danny is not doing so good, but he still went to get his boats. I expect he will be unable to move following this against the Dr's orders extertion and strain on his back for days.

And what are we to use to hold our extra furniture, some of which are heirloom antiques...we rented a storage unit, but now have no trailer to haul them with.

[51anna]

I am so sorry this is going slowly and badly, Tena.

I know how much you two are looking forward to getting the trailer ready to go and to move on with your lives.

[hippyhippy]

Live hunny,
I am so sorry that you are having to put up with this nonsense. I expect it must hurt too with feeling let down by people whom you thought you could trust. The only consolation I can try to offer is that you would never have suspected your friend of doing such a thing because such acts are alien to your mind. I am often accused of being naive, but I would rather be that than hardened and suspicious of people. You didn't expect it of this woman because you are kind and caring and you thought she was the same.
I hope you have an upturn of luck soon hunny.
Hippy
xx

[liveweyerd]

Thanks, FRIENDS, I went ahead and wrote each of the seller's on ebay and explained the situation, committed to paying as the first we were able and asked for their understanding and patience. What else could I Do?

Yeah I am in a funk.

Shutterbug cannot post as she used to. Anything she posts here can be used against her by the opposing attorneys should she follow up on the civil suit.

[historyteach]

(((Tena)))

I'm so sorry this happened to you....
Please remember, they are very sick people. You did nothing wrong.
And there *is* karma!

(((Jenna)))

I miss you already....

Please forgive me for not being here too much lately.
School has started back up, and I'm doing 6 classes a day again, where I've been used to 4. That's taking some getting used to.
Also, still dealing with my mom's death....

Shalom!

[nandm]

(((((Tena and Jenna))))))

Tena, I am so sorry this is being such a difficult time right now. Remember though that karma is a stronger force than any person........she will get what she has given before it is all said and done........just as you will recieve back what you have given.


Jenna, you will be missed more than you know.

[hippyhippy]

I agree that karma will get her. As you sow so shall you reap.

Hugs to jenna if you speak to her Tena, and some for everyone else reading.

Teach, you do great posting what you do. Especially working so hard and having your own personal grief.

Love to all.

Hippy
xx

[liveweyerd]

NandM....I read your post in alcoholism about peace and serenity and of how you give.
Very beautiful and touching.
I have often had the same observations and thoughts about our culture.

I NEED to get rid of stuff, myself...so I sent someone I know some clothes I knew they would like and I knew I would probably never wear, they said they really had to work their recovery not to send me money.
It wasn't a sale!????LOL

Reading Shutterbug's last post, just made me HIGH on my goals with that direction.

I showed hubs your paintings, NandM...he has a trained eye...he said the tiger was wonderful work and enjoyed the darkish, he calls it "noir? backgrounds of the florals, that is his taste in painting himself.
And haha ? when you said you would paint pets, he told me to put on a collar and send a photo as I was his pet.

Teach, please keep it as simple as possible and take it easy. I care.

Hippy, I figure she has her karma...only a miserable, angry person could do that..and in follow up, she has been hateful and spiteful. That's not a happy life.

Did you and g/f re-do the yellow, Judith? How did it turn out?