feeling stupid

[comfyone]

Hello again, I came here awhile ago with anxiety and depression. I was also a substance abuser and self injurer. And I stopped posting or looking at these forums and then I stopped making any effort toward other kinds of help (meetings, counseling) and I just tried to deal with my problems. I thought I was doing ok. I didn't do any drugs or hurt myself. And I wasn't having panic attacks or severe bouts of depression.

Then last night.... I had a SEVERE panic attack and it felt like I had made no progress and I felt so helpless. I felt alone and it felt like all the emotional and mental problems I had ignored all confronted me at once. It was like I was right back where I was in January when I had such anxiety that I could hardly function. I realized that I wasn't really dealing w/my problems, I was in denial and pretending they weren't there. It was the worst panic attack I've ever had.

So now I feel like the idiot who thinks he's too good to accept help. Last time I posted on here I said to myself that I wouldn't be that guy. I was going to keep going to my counselor and make real effort. So i pretty much failed that. I pretended I was ok. And I see what happens if you do that b/c I'm 100% right back where I started: Feeling scared like I could have a panic attack at any time and lose control.

[suki44883]

((((HUGS))))

I'm so sorry that you're feeling that way. I understand where you're coming from. I don't self-harm, but I am an alcoholic. I had 32 days sober today,and then, what did I do?? I drank today. I feel like a total loser, too.

BUT!!!!...we can choose to start over again. Yes, we are luckier than some people who never get that chance.

Prayers going out to you, and to me, too.

[BUTTERFLY-7]

I know how you feel I also neglected the fact-
of my Mental, and Emotional,condition I was diagnose
4 yrs ago with been Bipolar,and left a space Gap between those
yrs,and was in a great big denial about it thinking I could
do this on my own but nope the harsh reality hit me this
year went I came to recovery

so yeah we need to take drastic measures when it comes
to our health weather bee mental or physical I God
for allowing me to understand that and everybody at this site
so today I finally got to see my psychiatry and now I'm on
my way to getting better I wish you the Best

[historyteach]

You're not stupid, (((Comfyone)))
But, you've had an awakening.
Now you know that there are things you need to do to take care of yourself.

I know when I care for myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I feel so much better. Each day, try to do something for yourself in each category. Or start off with one and build up.

Do you see a counselor? Having someone to talk with will help you to deal with the panic you are having and to put it in perspective. Counseling can help with the meds too. And the counselor can help determine if a pdoc should be consulted for meds. Sometimes, the two together work best.

I wish you luck, and hope to see you here often as we both grow in our recovery.

Shalom!

[Paulos]

Happens to us all comfy one... I lost track of the relapses I've had with my drinking, but I won't have to count anymore.