Taking the Plunge

[Photonic]

Hello All:

For those of you that don't know me, I am a 37 yo nurse that suffers from PTSD way back. This stems from childhood and I see no reason to go into the details of that, enough said. I did the ususal destructive things a kid does that goes thru that, I started drinking early and other things. When I graduated high school I joined the military. Which at the time, I didin't know only served to make the illness worse. I continued to drink heavily in the army but was lucky becasue it never did stick. When I got out I just quit. At this point I did manage to get a little help from the military, as I had had a very stressful job. I was put on an antidepressant and xanax. These drugs gave me the ability to function, so I was able to go to school and attain my degrees. I have been a practicing RN for the past eight years. I don't know why, I guess because I was so busy with school, and the doc's never said anything it never occurred to me there might me a better way than xanax to function. Anyway I have been on the stuff for eight years now. I knew something was still worng and the connection never dawned on me. Till I ran across an article one day in the library of the hospital having to do with chronic PTSD. It was like I was reading about myself. I decided at that point to seek out professional help. I am just getting started on this road, I have had two therapy sessions and the pdoc I see now throws out more drugs than a pez dispenser. These two work together within my hospital group and this is what they specialize in. I have meanwhile had to take FMLA and it looks like it is going to be slow going. My ultimate goal is to do as much healing as possible and not have to take any pills in order to function. Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated.

Thank You;
Nic

[nandm]

Welcome to our mental health forum.

We have some things in common. I spent 20 years working as a nurse and 12 working as a paramedic. I too have PTSD which has come to light since I got sober.

I ignored and did not deal with it for the first 3 years of my sobriety. Needless to say without the alcohol to numb it things got much worse. It got to the point where I at times could not even leave my house due to the anxiety.

I have spent the last 4 years working on it. I still have an anti-anxiety agent to get me through those days that it rears its ugly head and keeps me from leaving my home or when I am in situations where I will have anxiety. Some days are definately better than others. Sometimes it seems like the more I work with the therapist the worse it gets but I understand that is part of the process.

I am currently in school to find a new career as returning to nursing or paramedic is not something my therapist believes is going to be healthy for me. I am grateful though as I never wanted to be a nurse anyway and it allowed me to raise my children. Now it is nice to be able to pursue the career I am intersted in; marine or wildlife biology. My goal is to get the PTSD to a manageable level if not completely resolved. Since mine is related to a lot of cummulative things starting with childhood there is a lot there to get past so I realize it may take some time.

Good luck with what is going on in your life.

Judith

[shockozulu]

Hi, PTSD here as well. I am on two medications for the depression that came back with the PTSD. I've been on one for over 8 years, the other is a booster and has worked wonders the last few months.

Before the medications, I was almost non-functional. I was so stressed out that I would start projects and not finish them. After getting on the right meds, I have gone back to college, received my Associates degree, finishing up my BA now and prepping for the LSATs. I also work three-quarter time.

Everyone is different but I would not make a decision about stopping meds until you see how they effect you. However, any doctor throwing a bunch of meds at you is generally not healthy. Have you considered asking him if you can start on one at a time? That's what I did and it really helped as I had to try several antiDs until I found the one that worked. Then we added the sleep medication, waited to see how it worked and so on.

[TiredMama]

Welcome welcome!

[barb dwyer]

Welcome photonic -

I agree with what NandM and Alera have posted for ya.

The key to anything is knowledge.

Self - education is vital IMO.
That's my only advice -
seek out everything you can get your hands on about the topic.

It's overwhelming at first -
just how many DIFFERENT opinions there are out there,
but since PTSD is entirely subjective ...
there are some generalities (is that even a word?)
that *we* all can benefit from.
I'm always looking for the 'bottom line'.

... gotta start somewhere.

When I research on the net -
I generaly stick to University info sites.
I don't trust information on 'general' sites
or sites that are 'selling' anything.

But I see a PTSD group forming here on SR ...
and I think that's fabulous.

As a nurse -
maybe you have access to resources
we haven't thought of !