The Curveballs of life

[TheWhiteRabbit]

I have recently made a huge move in my life to a state across the country, and completely different from where I am from. (I lived in a tiny state up north, Im now in a huge state in the south). I took the trip with someone who is a fantastic human being. My ex who I broke up with because my own fears and insecurities about life. I had recently turned 22 and started thinking about my furture and how my father is so hell bent on me being with someone who has a life set out for him. "D" is 28, and no he doesn't have a house, career, and all that you would expect from a 28yr old person decades ago. But he is one HELL of a person, my problem is that I can NOT be honest with him for the life of me! I feel like if I tell the truth I let part of me out that I may never get back. Its like Im holding my cards close and Im not about to give in to ANYONE. I also have an "affair" like relationship with, yes a married man who is 20yrs my senior. He is great, and I know what everyone thinks but to be truthful, we are in love. Madly. Its amazing how you can find your complete equal in the oddest of moments WHAT DO I DO???

[nandm]

Welcome to SR and welcome to our mental health forum.

What you are going through I have no experience with but I am sure someone will be along who can share with you.

[least]

I'd be sort of cautious about the 'married man' thing. I can only think that if he's cheating on his wife he could just as easily cheat on you. Be careful, please.

[historyteach]

Hi, White Rabbit,
And welcome to the MH forums!

You are asking for advice, but, you do not say what it is you want. Nor do you mention anything but your love live. So, I am not sure what it is you want?
If you are being dishonest, start being honest.
And you know that seeing a married man is a no go.

Shalom!

[TheWhiteRabbit]

I got cut off when writing this thread. I want to know why I cant let go. I do absolutely love this man. And oddly enough I completely know what I am in. I have never thought in my life I would be in such a predicament. He has really been truthful and honest with me since the begining when we decided we were just having "fun" but we fell extremley hard for one another. Depsite every risk I stand with this, it all feels worth it. I just feel so alone. No one understands this, and I dont even want to try and explain it to others.

[historyteach]

I think *everyone* understands.
They just don't approve, for a number of reasons. Here's the biggest one, probably:
Those that care about you don't want to see you get hurt. It's that simple.

If this guy loved you, he wouldn't be "fooling around" with you. He'd have left his wife. Period. But, then again, he said he loved his wife, didn't he? And look what he's doing to her? Something you really need to think about...cuz that's what your friends are concerned about.

You don't want to let go cuz what you are getting is more than the cost you are paying -- thus far. The bill hasn't come due, yet, white rabbit.
But, it will...

Shalom!