Hello all, regarding mental issues....

[Paulos]

I'm on Day 7 of no booze, Day 17 Lamictal, Day 11 Risperdal... *those are medications, and that Lamictal I'm on is 100mg since I'm no longer withdrawling from it and Risperdal is at 0.5mg* anyway... how are you all? I don't know if I'm mentally ill, but my OCD can really really be charged up sometimes.

Whether it has to do with dog hair, trouble in life, or issues... lately it has been that well known art of TIME... example..

Say I got off booze on a certain date on Day 0, but that doesn't count as a day because it was my hangover day and I had had a drink in that morning time of that day... then on every Midnight *this is how it works for me* this is a new day, example, day 1, then 2,3,4,5,6 finally this morning at Midnight I hit Day 7... some people say that's a whole week, but is it? Technically right now it's like 16 hours and 22 minutes until it's actually 7 whole days, and ...etc... so you see it's an OCD thing perhaps?

Some input would be nice... if you have time of course, I mean ... jeez doesn't it sound insane? I feel like if I don't know the exact time/dates of everything I won't be able to survive in life.

[BCBoy87]

i wouldnt worry about the exact date and time

congradulations on day 7 keep up the good work

[ANGELINA243]

Hey Paulos! Glad to see you are on day 7--Cool! Not sure what to tell you about the meds though. Glad to see that you are posting on the board again!

[Paulos]

thank you... =)

[Astro]

Hey Paulos, always good to see you posting, congrats on the progress that you're making.

I'm no expert on mental issues, I can only share the experience that comes from 27 years of alcoholism and codependency, and treating my anxiety and depression in early sobriety.

I guess I'm a little OCD too. I keep my house spotless and picked up, it drives my GF nuts sometimes. And most mornings I leave my house and drive around the block at least once to make sure I closed the garage door. Otherwise I'd be freakin' out all day worrying about it.

Most days I have to remind myself of some simple recovery slogans. I'm a work in progress, and I'm making progress but not perfection. And for today that's going to have to be good enough.

How about giving yourself a pat on the back for the progress that you're making?

[Paulos]

Kinda hard when I feel like I'm dyin everyday but I'll try..

[Astro]

That's one of the paradoxes of recovery: We die to live.

I still haven't met anyone who died from being clean and sober. And I don't think you'll be the first. It does get better Paulos. It might take awhile, but it's worth the effort.

[Paulos]

Yeah... but my memory is so bad, I get overwhelmed so easily Astro... it's insane.

[Astro]

Originally Posted by Paulos

Yeah... but my memory is so bad, I get overwhelmed so easily Astro... it's insane.

Nothing ever changed for me unless I was willing to make the change. There are still times when I feel overwhelmed, and I definitely recognize insane behavior in myself at times. But I can take baby steps to change that, just little pieces of progress.

You've been posting on SR for over a year Paulos. Obviously you have an awareness of your behavior and a desire to work on it. That in itself is an achievement.

[1963comet]

Day 7 is great news. So, glad to see you here.

[nandm]

Paulos, have you started a program of recovery yet? Or are you still trying the Paulos plan of recovery? Remember doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insane. Please get yourself some help and try a program of recovery. I will say the same thing here that I have said repeatedly in your threads under alcoholism. I wish you the best and do hope you are able to find some peace. For me though the bottom line is I am willing to keep my hand out to help if you are looking for solutions but if you are looking for sympathy (a shoulder to cry on or complain to while you continue to refuse to change) then I have to step away as I can not help you.

[least]

Congratulations on seven days!!

[BUTTERFLY-7]

Paulos,Honey . on your Day 7 of Been Clean,Listen Paulo 's we Didn't became addicts over night it was a progressive, Process, so Remember we ain't going to get heal over night what I think Astor said, I'm not sure if it was him but as I was reading the threads, someone said to take Baby steps, and thats all we could do for now,so you see Paulo's you've came along way Darling, Like I always say It Stars with You, and It Ends With You,It's OUR Thinking That some times Limit us out of everything that All the Good, Great Energy, our H.P.has for us,and It's true you must loose some, to gain some,you must die, and berried all those compulsive Behaviors, that draw us to self destruction,God Bless Paulo's,I'll Be for you Don't you Give up on me Don't worry about what People think about you,the judgment that counts is God's and Your's so Work on it Easy Doe's it,One Day at a time.

[reader]

Day 7 that is great... As far as your meds. I am a big fan of lamictal because I have had zero side effects. Keep up the good work.

[Paulos]

Thanks for caring all, along with my Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome which causes bad memory, inability to think clearly, poor physical coordination I'm surviving...

[juliee]

Paulos,
Keep posting....I am one of those who can relate to where and who you are. Thank-you!

[Paulos]

Thank you juliee.

[barb dwyer]

Paulos -
I"m taking advantage of you knowing me personally a little better than most ... but I found this funny -

Say I got off booze on a certain date on Day 0, but that doesn't count as a day because it was my hangover day and I had had a drink in that morning time of that day... then on every Midnight *this is how it works for me* this is a new day, example, day 1, then 2,3,4,5,6 finally this morning at Midnight I hit Day 7... some people say that's a whole week, but is it? Technically right now it's like 16 hours and 22 minutes until it's actually 7 whole days, and ...etc... so you see it's an OCD thing perhaps?

My opinion -
as long as you're thinking about that stuff while simultaneously cleaning the toilet and bathroom ....
maybe raking the yard, painting, or doing the dishes ...
baking a load of cookies to take to the old folks home to give away ...
then it's okay for anyone to obsess about them.

If you're sitting on the couch flipping channels thinking this stuff -
turn OFF the tv and take on one of the above mentioned activities to continue it.

See what I'm saying?

Even when we can't control WHAT we're thinking ...
we always conrtol whether we're the thought-
or the THINKER of the thought.

We do on occasion ... forget that.

[Paulos]

But I don't want to be so crazy about this crap I wanna be slowed down and not be so worried.

[barb dwyer]

well then -

how clean is the bathroom?

[least]

In my opinion, it sounds like you're trying to hold water in your open hand. That won't work. It sounds like you're worrying yourself into a frenzy, and that won't help your recovery, will it? Sometimes you try the hardest by NOT trying so hard. Let go of your tight grip and you might more easily 'slow down'. Just my opinon...