Finances and Mental Illness

[Easeful]

Please forgive and ignore if this isn't an ok topic. But here's the deal....

My h and I are retired and so living on a fixed income. We've been responsible all of our lives and we're ok, the current price increases are disturbing but we're still ok, not as flush as we were but still ok.

Our 20 year old son has racked up $100,000+ in medical bills since his initial sudden onset of mental illness 3 months ago. We're fortunate in that we're insured. But there's still thousands and thousands of $$ that are not covered.

So here's the question. I've heard that some Dr.'s pass you the SSD forms along with your first prescriptions. I've also been told that EVERYTHING depends on MY keeping a positive attitude. How do we decide when to throw in the towel on protecting our son's financial history?

[serenityqueen]

(((Easeful)))

I can relate to your feelings of frustration at the ridiculous cost of help for any kind of health care out there.

I haven't had insurance in years. I have found many hospitals will consider the patient's income and even help with a part of the bill that insurance hasn't covered. The hospital that my Mom has been admitted into several times recently has wrote off a percentage of the bill she still owes.

My Mom has had enormous medical bills over the past 7 months and her only medical coverage is what our government says a senior who worked hard throughout their life is entitled to. It's crap in my opinion. My Mom worked hard throughout all of her life, never taking a penny from "the system" when her and my Dad seperated and divorced. She worked from 5 am until sometimes 6 pm six days a week to take care of us kids. Now, in her prime, she can't afford her own medicines that she needs.

I could let this enrage me to the point of exploding, or for me, worse, relapsing.

I have to have Faith that God will help me (and my Mom) find the help that is available out there. Sure, I have to do some leg work, but I need never forget that God is there to carry us through this.

Prayer has been my Saving Grace since I have been in Recovery.

With God, all things are possible.

I applaude you for sticking by your Son through his struggles.

I'm sure it has made it easier on him knowing that you and his Dad are both there for him.

God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for Today,
Judy

[nandm]

Just my humble opinion, not based on experience, so please take it with a grain of salt. I do not feel you would be abandoning your son in any way by walking away on the financial thing. The worst thing that could happen would be he has to declare bankruptcy. In 7 years his credit will be restored. In the meantime you still retain what you have worked so hard all your life to achieve, your life after retirement. Your son should be eligible for some kind of SSI or SSD which should also include medicaid or medicare. I would talk to your local social services office and see if they can provide you with some direction here. Obviously you love your son very much and from the sound of it would do most anything for him. Please remember though that you still have to be able to take care of yourself. State services are there for a reason, you have paid taxes to have those services available, let your son utilize them.

[historyteach]

Agreed; He should be elegible for social security disability, which will include medical. He won't have to declare bankrupcy. Get him started on the process; it's a long one. His doctors will have to fill out much of the forms too.

You are *not* responsible for this. And ending up in the poor house yourself will not help him one iota. He will still need financial help, and in the end, so will you and your husband! So, please think this through. You need to take care of yourself first, in order to continue to help him. It's like putting the air mask on yourself before your child on the airplane, right?

You can get the financial aide forms and the social security disability forms from the hospital or the social security office. It's a long process, but, with his dx and history, there shouldn't be much problem. Just be aware, though, that it's quite common to be denied first. Standard practice here in the US!

Keep the faith, though. In the end, it will work out.

Shalom!