Always the Mistress

[zoolu58]

People who are either involved or married seem to be the ones I attract. I'm soooooooooooooo tired of that. I want someone that will love me. I don't understand how at my age I can be stupid enough to fall for people like that. I don't require much and I was married for 19 years so if a guy is looking for someone who will pick up where their last one left off it won't be me. How do I find the right kind?

[historyteach]

This might help:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...visualize.html (Visualize This)

Also, you can do different types of things. Take classes; go to different places; take a singles cruise or sign up for one of the dating sites. Any number of things. What you're doing isn't working, right? So, try something different. What have you got to lose?

And then, say "no" to the married ones!

Shalom!

[zoolu58]

I always do. It just bothers me and destroys my faith in humanity. If you take the vow then keep it.

[splendra]

I think it is interesting that you are attracting men who are unable to commit. Perhaps you do not really want a commitment cause somehow what you are receiving has something to do with what you are sending out.

THe first thing you may need to do is to stop doing what you are doing. Stop seeing married men don't settle for what you do not want. Take sometime out for yourself to make sure you are liking your own company. It is okay to like yourself you know...

Your own mind set will lead you to what you are looking for. Check your attitudes about yourself. I am sure you are worthy of being happy and loved but is that what you are saying to yourself?

Maybe you are blocking the kind of man you want with what you don't want cause you are afraid to be close to someone. There are plenty of single men who aren't playing games. Take responsibility for the message you are sending out change what needs to be changed.

[historyteach]

Zoolu;

We are not responsible for another person keeping their vow or not. That's up to them.
Personally, I refuse to become involved with anyone who is married. I deserve more. So, I won't settle for that.

And besides, if they are cheating on their wife, they will cheat on me too. That's a fact. A cheat is a cheat is a cheat.

Just keep doing things that are positive for yourself. Be good to yourself. Your true self will come through and will attract a good person.

Shalom!

[adore79]

Thats a lot of great advice. I wish you luck zoolu.

[zoolu58]

I didn't say I date married men. I said they seem to be attracted to me. I am afraid to get close again. That much is true. I know I exude energy and I am fussy about who I want. I don't want to be smothered or totally alone. I've had both and I know that's not what I need.

[Thanks2HP]

eHarmony worked for me. It took 2 years.... I wasn't serious the first year. The 2nd year I went out a couple of times. It wasn't until I met someone who was also in recovery that my patience payed off. She's a wonderful woman and has become my best friend.

I hope you find someone that you can love, trust and "agree to disagree" with.