Fearing Relapse

[midnight08]

I was diagnosed schizophrenia / schizo / affective nearly 15 years ago along with depression/post traumatic stress syndrome and anxiety....i have spent a total of 6 to 7 months in hospital over the years ...the last time being 3 years ago.Since then i have come a long way and only been on an anti depressant the last 2 years .A year ago i was diagnosed with a rare blood disease that explains some of the trouble i have been having (being very tired / fatigued and sweating lots)My doctor told me i needed to loose some weight so i decided a change was needed and decided to stop taking my anti depressants .To help with the withdrawal i tried some pot and have started smoking it again after not being on it for 10 years...its only been a few weeks but i already feel its got the better of me and i am getting worried.My family who have been through a lot with me would be very angry if they were to find out i would be kicked out.I have a girlfriend that lives 2 hours away in the city and although she would be angry as well i think she would let me stay at her place while i get help.....the only way i have of getting to the doctors where i am is if my family takes me and i dont want them to know i have a problem

[historyteach]

Hi, midnight;
ANd welcome to SR.

You know that pot is not going to help your medical condition.
Changing the medication you're on for your diagnoses might help, but, you've got to talk to your doctor about that. And work at it. But, there are antidepressants , like welbutrin, that don't cause weight gain. You need to work with your doctor to find the solution.

I wish you the best. Let us know how it's going.

Shalom!

[barb dwyer]

Hi Midnight welcome to SR ...

[midnight08]

Thanks for the welcome
I have just got through my first night without smoking .I had some zyprexa to help settle me .I cant believe how anxious and messed up i was feeling after only 3 weeks of being on the dope.At first it made me feel really good ,relaxed me and i actually felt more normal then i had in ages ...then the symptoms of my schiz started showing and it scared the you know what out of me .
Im still not feeling the best physically but i feel more in control of my mind