No energy at all

[chica24]

I'm new to this so I don't really know what I am doing. But I needed somewhere to vent, or at least where other people might be able to understand what I am going thru.

I'm only 19, and I've had depression and anixety for a number of years, since about 13 when I tried to commit suicide. Thankfully, I'm over sucidial feelings but now I just feel so drained. My suicide episode was over 5 years ago, and things go up and down.

I was diagnosied with anixety and depression last summer. At that time, my life was out of control. I was throwing up every day when I would have an anixety attack, I couldn't sleep at night, I was using marijuiana, and bouncing from guy to guy. The doctor put me on Effexor and for a while things evened themseleves out. I went back to college, and straightened myself out. I still had some depression lurking around but it was easier to supress at school.

But for about the last three months, things are fully started again. I had a messy break-up with my boyfriend that left me heartbroken and utterly confused. Closure hasn't really been allowed yet, considering a variety of things.

But I think that is just what started the whole thing. Since leavng college again, I've come back home and now all I do is either sleep and feel sorry for myself or go out and party, doing things I shouldn't be doing.

I used to be a causal pot smoker but I have turned into smoking every single day and whenever I'm upset. I've moved on to Ectasy, which I have found has given me a longer time to numb. Worse off, I'm back to my old ways with men. I'm bouncing between two guys right now, unprotected with both. I've been diagnoised with being hypersexual, but it's like I can't stop myself.

I need that love and attention, and I think my behavior with drugs and men is just for that attention. I know I am depressed and I know I need help, but most of the people in my life don't know the full extent of how I feel. And it isn't easy to tell them, considering this has been a reoccuring problem that I have always slipped back into but NEVER managed to beat. Sometimes I just don't know what to do anymore.

[gmike02]

Oh dear one: I am 62 years and have had such a life of ups and downs and marriages and embarressments to my children. How I would give it all to have been diagnosed early. The ONLY thing I have find out (VERY HARD FOR ME NOW) is the medications that will help; but you must stay with it until they find the right ones. And you must have a good counselor to go alone with it. I have one of the best - I am so blessed. It has taken 9 months and we are still working on the medications - you will just have to "take a year off for now" in order to have a full life later. You see a depression will come on or a manic will come due to EVENTS that beging to happen in your life. Reason for counselors along with the physpyst (can't spell) for medications. My doctor took me off Effexor (an anti-depressant) that I had been taken for years - since the death of my daughter and slowly put me on Lamictal. He said depressants DO NOT help bi-polar. My doctor also said it was not unusual for people to do drugs; alcohol; sex; I pray for you along with others and hope when you are down to look UP - SMILE - KNOW HE IS THERE - DOES NOT WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE ANYTHING BUT HAPPY - HE WILL HELP YOU. Find a group of people (church with good young poeple - there are some - begin talking with a pastor or someone in the church

[wakowife]

i'm curious, how long have you been on the lamictal? i had never heard of this medication until 2 weeks ago wheni started to see a new thearpist and a new psych. it seems to be working for me, i was on lithium for 4 years, and various other medication along with it, the doctors just kept trying new combo's and ne doses, but nothing seemed to work for very long, it was as if my body became imune to all the anti-depressents and just stopped workin. however i recently had a manic epised and it was like no other that i had experienced usually my episodes last anywhere from 2 sayd up to 1 wek, this timeit lasted 2 days and although i was jumpy and felt that usual reacing feeling, i felt calmer while this was happening and i felt like i was able to control the mania. is it the same way for you??

Bernadette