Confused about abuse memories

[tellus]

Something on the forum triggered some "memories" for me today. Those "memories" have been a big part of my anxiety these past couple years... but I'm fairly sure they're not real.

Most immediate: I dreamed (I'm fairly sure I dreamed it) that I was molested (almost-raped) during my second year of college. I was drunk that night, so I have no clear memory, but I'm pretty damn sure it did not actually happen.

Secondary: I have no explicit memories, but on multiple occasions my symptoms have prompted people to ask if I was molested as a child. This irks me a little bit.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I'm pretty damn sure that I was never actually abused... So why do I have these "memories?" Am I just trying too hard to be a victim?

Sorry if this is in the wrong forum.

[tanyapmc]

I don't know Tell. I am a survivor of sexual abuse. I always knew I was abused. I do know some people who want to be victims. They are sure that there is some huge underlying issue that would explain their actions. Sometimes that is just not the case. My experience is that God will allow me to remember what I need to remember at a specific time. He never gives me too much to process at once.

Hope this helps.

[Hooner]

Tellus,

The same has happened for me. Every shrink I go to tells me I have all the characteristics of someone that was sexually abused.

I never thought I was. But now looking back at boundary issues and such in high school - boys would do things I didn't want them to do. And I was usually drunk. So, I don't know if that would be abuse? I always just did it to keep up with the crowd or feel loved.

That's my resent breakthrough with therapy.