help....i feel really bad

[hippyhippy]

i dont know what is happening to me,. for the past two-threed ays my adrenalin has been going up and up (or thats what it feels like) but I cant stop for long enough to do anything. I am shaking trembling anfd I feel sick. I feel like I am goign to die. It is not an anx attack I have tried my deep breeathing etc. I also feel like I am am going to explode. The past hour it has gotten really really bad and I am so scared. I am am so angry and tearful all at the same time. I feel like I am going maD. but hubby id away and i am alone with kifds. I am really really scared.
I want to be self abusive to get rid of the feelings I cant stand. Please someone ehelp me and tell me what is goign on.
hippy

[HKAngel24]

Hippy --


PLEASE don't be self abusive. It will only make things worse. This is what we have remember. Like drug addicts, we are addicted to hating ourselves and hurting ourselves and doing so relieves that burning self loathing within us.

How do you know that it is not an anxiety attack?
It sounds as though it may be one -- we don't always need chest pains to have anxiety. Did something trigger this ?
It's helpful to dig to the bottom to find out how it got started, the feelings that triggered it, because THAT is the information needed in trying to solve any of these emotionally consuming attacks that I know VERY well.

You are not alone.
Please keep repeating that to yourself.
Others have been where you are at, feeling as though they are going insane.
If you REALLY feel as though you need some RIGHT THEN - by all means call for an ambulence. Sometimes one can slip into a psychosis that needs professional assistance.

When I have feelings like you do and the emotions are so overwhelming- it feels PHYSICALLY impossible for me to engage myself in ANY activity. I feel tied to a chair or my feet are like lead weights. I can' tseem to do anything - this is when I must force myself to go for a walk, call someone, take a shower- anything that can stop the thoughts from racing.

I hope that you are feeling better. Take care of yourself.

[shutterbug]

((((((((Dearest Hippy))))))))))

Sounds to me like mostly mania, but mixed with depression and anxiety and stress. So basically...a mixed episode that is escalating. I have to go to work dear friend, but please...keep doing your breathing exc and put on some soothing music. Maybe even try taking a bubble bath if you can.

If it keeps on or gets worse...call doc and/or support worker. This is not your fault, don't beat yourself up over it either.

Take care of yourself....please. Keeping hanging on. Love you dear friend, very much.

jenna

[hippyhippy]

had very bad day. crises team are com ing out any time now. I phoned and begged thenm to take me into hospital which they wont do but theyt are coming out for hoem treatment.
hippy

[Jerzy007]

Prayers and blessngs Hppy

[Jerzy007]

[shutterbug]

oh Jason...that's such a lovely animation! Thanks for posting it!

(((((((Hippy)))))) I'm here and listening hon!!!

Remind me again why they won't let you go into the hospital in the UK? That just sounds totally abserd to me. Good gravy....it's not like we are the kind of people who would ask to go into the hospital just for the hell of it! So that really chaps me.

Check in when you can and let us know how you are feeling now and how things have gone (well...yesterday for you). You've been on my mind all day today and i just kept wishing there was some way i could have reached out to you and been there with you.

hugs and more hugs,
jenna

[hippyhippy]

hospitals are not the best of placres here in the uk jenna unless you can afford to go private. Care in the community is the big thing.
I am being taken off my drugs full stopp just now as it is thought I am having yet another rreaction. The home careteam will come to me over the weekend if need be. I have to go cold turkey unless I feel really reaaly bad and I suppose they will give me valium or something.
I feel better today than yesterday. The shaking has gone a bit and I dont feel as desperate. Mum came over today to look after all of us.
I took sleeping pills last night which helped me through the night but I do feel it is de eascalating now . thank god, yesterday was the freakiest experience ever.
I will catchup on your thread later jenna hun but I too a,m thinking of you.
Hugs ((((((((((jenna and all)))))))))
hippy

[GailJ]

It sounds like bad side effects to me, the paxils did that to me for months, going cold turkey, not good either, hubby is going to have to step up to the plate and help you unless, you can get grandparents to kik in and help with the kids. I hope you can do this at home, I had to do the same wit no hubby ten years ago. Was double dosed on wrong meds which built up in the system by emerg doc and couldn't add 2+2 by the time I figured out what was going on. Took a long time to get back to health at that time. No sleeping pills either, severe sleep dep not good. I am so sorry the meds aren't working out.

[hippyhippy]

hubby is away but mum ready to step in a t a moments notice. Detox is best way to go I think.
Hippy
xxx

[London]

Did your hubby leaving cause an attack? Do you know what triggered it? I hope you are feeling better...

[hippyhippy]

no, him going wasn't the cause. I had to try desperately not to let it show before he went or he might not have gone. It started on Monday night and escalated over the next few days. On yesterday morning, I had to pretend it was down to needing to exercise my adrenalin away.
I have to honest though. I will be happier when he is back.
Hippy
xxx

[GailJ]

Just checking in, see how your making out today, let mum step in and help with the kids if you trust her. You really need to concentrate on your health and be honest, trully honest with yourself and her( I know you have a hard time with hubs). Mum just may be the support you need right now.

You said you needed detox, have you been binging on top of the meds again. worried bout you, if you don't want to post it you can aways pm me, big hugs

[hippyhippy]

No hun I hadnt been drinking but I thnk because of my sensitivity to drugs (I have had reactions to several) the shrink wants to make sure they are completely out of my system before he tries another kind. Maybe this is one you need to withdraw from anyway, I am not sure.
I think I may try on the non meds route for a while, see how I go. Hubby not keen for me to do that though. Otherwise I will ask for quetiapine again and just live with the break through mood swings.
Sorry I not been posting much. My co ordinatiion has been all over the place. I feel back to normal (ish) this morning though!
Hippy
xxx

[GailJ]

Man I know how your felling Hippy, Me last year. So many meds and the binge on top I think mybrain chemistry was completely kazooey. Get yourself into the psch ward at the hospital untill you can function, you be taken care of, treated with respect and compassion, there are lots of resources to help, You'll be able to sleep a WHOLE NIGHT OR THREE. Let mum take care of the kids.
I had to do it too but one of the besthings ever did.even though at the time I cried for days before I could accept to myslf that I really needed help and could accept that help. I was sick and needed care I COULD NOT get at home.
I am here always. you know that hun, and If I ever come to UK to see my family there I am coming to see you to give you a really big real hug. Your a true friend, And I care so much bout you. Do what you have to to get healthy hun..