Topamax and other things on my mind....

[historyteach]

Anyone ever use it?
What's your thoughts about it?

I'm thinking of going back on an anti-depressant.
I'm very leary of weight gain, though, and welbutrin gives me panic attacks.
This is also used for many other things besides depression and anxiety...including PTSD; bipolar; binge eating disorder and other eating disorders; seizures; alchohol dependency and abuse; osteoarthrites; fibromyalgia and MS! A cure all it seems!

But, I've had a lot going on all summer, and I'm tired. School starts in less than 2 weeks now, and I don't want to start off on a bad foot. If it can help...there's no prize for suffering the most, ya know?

I'd love your thoughts on it....

Shalom!

[cinderellawkids]

I was prescribed Topomax almost 5 years ago for migraines. AT the time I didnt realize I needed an anti anxiety or anti depressant but had debilitating headaches.

(I though my irritability and mood swings were normal)

2 weeks into taking it I remember looking at my office manager asking is this how life is supposed to be? I could focus think clearly, enjoy life and NO headaches.

I loved it. I had to go off of it when I got pregnant and havent gotten another doctor to prescribe it. While pregnant when my migraines started up tehy put me on zoloft. See when not anxious I get 90% less migraines.

The only draw back is when you stop taking it withdrawal can be serious and must be done under drs care.

[historyteach]

What a great story, Cinderellawkids!
Thanks for sharing it.
I'm seeing my counselor tomorrow, and will talk to her about it.
Then, I'll call my doc, if she agrees.
I'll keep you posted.

Anyone else know anything?

Shalom!

[pedagogue]

It isn't really an anti-depressant, though is sometimes used in conjunction with an anti-depressant. It really depends on what you are trying to treat. It if often used off-label for bi-polar, though again as an adjunct with something else. As for straight ADs, I've always been a fan of SSRIs because they tend to work pretty well, relatively safe, etc. Prozac (SSRI) tends to have minimal weight gain, but other SEs, same with Trazedone (SARI).

You should share you concerns with your doc, and hopefully s/he can help you make the right decision. I'd caution you about asking medical advice from your counselor. I am sure she is a great counselor, but your doc is the one to ask about meds.

-p

[historyteach]

From RevolutionHealth.com

Conditions treated by Topamax
All conditions
Anorexia
Asperger's Syndrome
Autism
Binge eating disorder
Bipolar Disorder NOS
Bipolar I disorder
Bipolar II disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Bulimia
Cyclothymic disorder
Depression
Diabetes Mellitus Type I
Diabetes Mellitus Type II
ED-NOS (Eating Disorder, not otherwise specified)
Epilepsy
Fibromyalgia syndrome (FMS)
Generalized Anxiety disorder (GAD)
Headache - Cluster
Migraine
Migraine Prophylaxis
Multiple scl...elapsing (PRMS)
Multiple scl...emitting (RRMS)
Multiple scl...gressive (SPMS)
Obesity
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Osteoarthritis
Panic disorder / agoraphobia
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Schizoaffective disorder
Seizure Prophylaxis
Social phobia; Anxiety disorder)
Tension headaches

Topamax is used for many conditions. Depression is just one.
I didn't hear from my doc this afternoon. Could be that he's just too busy; could be he wants to talk to me or my counselor.
She's convinced I"m bipolar. I have never agreed with that idea. The topic came up when I was totally stoned out by the P-docs years ago on so many different meds. It was crazy!
I haven't gone to a shrink since. They didn't listen to me.

So, anyway, this med works for the both of us; me for my recognized depression; her cuz she wants to believe I"m bipolar.

BTW, she didn't know topamax treated depression either. And many of the other conditions too. I guess it's just not well know.

Thanks for the feedback. I'll let you know what my doc says, and how it goes.

Shalom!

[historyteach]

Doc's office called today. He wants to know why counselor and I think Topamax could be a good choice for me.
I told his nurse that the SSRI's made me crazy and caused weight gain; the Seroquel he once prescribed for me made me a zombie where I couldn't function at all; Welbutrin gave me panic attacks, (though it did help me quit smoking!); and I wouldn't take any other bipolar med like lithium or Depakote cause they cause weight gain.

I'm dieting and on phentermine in order to loose weight. I am pre-diabetic, so, it's really important.

So, Topamax sounds like it might work.

Anyway, doc wants to talk to counselor. I have no objection, but, I hope he can do it before next week. I want to get started, cuz school starts in less than 2 weeks, and I want to know if I"m going to be able to tolerate it or not before then.

Oh, yea, to add to all my issues, the principal admitted that he lied to me; that I never had the opportunity to get the job! (Not in those words, but, that's what he said.) So, after 22 years in education, I'm going to be a day-to-day sub again! Going to G*D only knows what school; where; what times of opening and closing.... I am very upset about this, needless to say. I"ve called my union; I may just call a lawyer, but, we'll see. This added stress is definately NOT what I needed! :

Ok, just got a call from doc's office. They are starting me off on 25 mg; perhaps will increase depending upon seeing my tolerance for it.

Unfortunately, nurse didn't know if I should continue to take the phentermine with it, and doc's on vacation. (I didn't know that.) I will ask the pharmacist, cuz I don't want to bother doc anymore while he's supposed to be relaxing. He is one hard working man, and he needs it!

I'll let you know how it goes....

Shalom!

[pedagogue]

The pharmacist should be able to tell you if there is an interaction with phentermine; they are really the experts when it comes to pharma-interactions.

-p

[shutterbug]

Teach...the mood stablizer Lamictal (for bipolar) doesn't cause weight gain. Also, Effexor is an anti-d that doesn't cause weight gain. It also has side affects if suddenly stopped and should be gradually weened from.

i'm wondering why you were prescribed the Seraquel? It is usually prescribed as an anti-psychotic. I was on it for a while to help me slight paranoia...and i craved sugar like it was air...and of course gained weight on it.

Teach, do you mind me asking what your pdoc has diagnosed you with?

[pedagogue]

Serequel is quite popular for treating mania, bipolar, treatment resistant anxiety, etc. It can also be quite sedating, so it helps with sleep too.

-p

[Done_With_It]

Teach!

Topamax has been my Miracle drug... I was on Depakote for bipolar years ago and they decided to try this for some odd reason, it was still more of an experimental thing to them I think. I did notice a little bit of a change, but I also stopped cutting dramatically, stopped throwing up, most of my self harm became very manageable. When I was on it, this will sound stupid, but I actually didn't even use much meth. When I lost my insurance and my meds (the topamax) I was cutting within 2 months, throwing up anything I ate, and meth eventually became much more desirable to me. I am not sure what it does, but when I went back on it, it helped w/the cravings, it helps the mood swings, the cutting, for me everything.

Their are some side effects they call it Dopemax because it makes you dumb, lol.
It really does, but it goes away. The phentermine will help with that I think.
But you will probably forget weird things, and it's almost, well no, it can be embarrasing at times, you forget words, in middle of a sentence, you can start to stutter a little because your trying to say something but your not sure what your trying to say, it's very weird, you may be driving home and get lost, so keep your cell phone. They were all things I personally could laugh at. Once or twice they made me cry out of frustration. But I knew why it was happening. And it always goes away. You might get a fever for awhile also, that also goes away.

Your probably going to lose weight on it. That's the one problem and the thing they are always threatening me with, because you have to remind yourself to eat, or you just won't. If it wasnt such a good cutting/bulimia drug for me they wouldn't let me stay on it, lol. The hunger comes back eventually, but for awhile it's gone.
If you stay on the phentermine your mouth is going to get even more dry than it already is, to where you might not be able to talk, they make a thing for that a gel by the toothpaste, and a toothpaste, and a mouthwash. I used to use that all the time. That goes away also.

Anyway, that is my experience on it. People seem to love it or hate it.
It works for me, a lot of people hate it, a lot of doctors don't like it
either, but I sure do. I can tell when I'm not on that so fast...
I didn't have any withdrawel symptoms at all, except I found myself
at the store buying razor blades, but no physical symptoms ever.

Good Luck if you try it!

[historyteach]

The serequel was for anxiety, as pedagogue states.
And it made me a zombie!

Jenna, I don't have a pdoc. Haven't had one for many years. They didn't listen to me, as I"ve stated before.
And SSRIs don't sit well with me. Effexor is an SSRI, no?

My pharmacist did indeed let me know that there is no physical interaction.
I think doc might be looking at other types of interaction too.
Regardless, I did take on phentermine this morning when I woke up -- without thought. I slept very well on the Topamax. I didn't take the second one, as I recognized. And I won't tomorrow. I want to see what *this* med does make me feel. Gotta be better....

Thanks.

Shalom!

[shutterbug]

thanks Peda...in my opinion...i think i was the last person who should have been given it at that point of my life. i was in total breakdown and already struggling to not sleep 20+ hours a day. I was having NO issues with mania or hypomania what so ever...only deep, suicidal depression and anxiety. I was going thru a real life crisis with work and my boss trying to fire me....so of course i was paranoid about work.

yes....sedating. I severly craved sugars probably as a way for my body to try to get back any kind of energy/wakefulness. I was literally near comotos for more than a month or so. In the moments awake i would easily eat a half-bag of choclates, and not talking individual serving size bags either. Or an entire one of those giant chocolate candy bars....several times a day. And, of course, i would pass back out quickly. It was a vicious cycle and i had no understanding of the connection between blood-sugar levels and sleep. I wasn't in control of it either.

A few months later, i was falsly diagnosed as borderline diabetic b/c what ever that test is that reveals a "history" of how the levels have been in your body....was an 11 (if i remember correctly). It has taken about a year or longer for everything to level back out to where i can have even a fun-size candy bar without then having to fight to stay awake.

Anyway....that sugar/sleep cycle i got stuck in only happened once on the Seroquel...and stopped when i asked to be taken off of it.

just my experince as i see it.

[shutterbug]

LOL....Teach...i do good to remember the names of meds most times....never can remember which are SSRI's or even what that means or why it's important even....and if it's not an SSRI or a benzo then what kind of catagory is most the others in? Details....never been good with them.

Teach, did you see a bunch of different pdocs and find that none listened to you? My first pdoc was pretty good at listening to me and i trusted him b/c of the background and involvments i knew him to have (he actually ran the day treatment program i was in at the time)...but after loosing my job and insurance i was forced to see the state-salaried pdoc who was awful, didn't listen, didn't care and more than once caused me more harm than good. Once she quit...the next one they hired listened, but only at first....then he became more of a butthead than the first had been. He quite after 3 months tho. I was back to working by then so i don't know who/what came next.

pdocs are just like therapists in my opinion....i need to feel i can click with the person and trust them....otherwise i'm wasting my time, money and energy.

Anwyay....hugs and i'm curious to follow your progress with this new med

[historyteach]

THanks, Jenna;

I had a pdoc in the hospital -- state doc; and at the counseling center clinic -- yes, another state doc. Both were jokes with the clinic doc being by far the worse. I could not, for the life of me, understand why no one would listen to me when I told them I was stoned on all of the meds they gave me. And their response was to up the dose or give me stronger meds!

This was years ago, when I first learned my son was a heroin addict and my ex was gambling away the mortgage and being abusive to me. I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety by my old family doc. I was also going through menopause. As I spiraled down, I went to the hospital, cuz I wanted to die. There, they changed all the meds and said I was bipolar, alcholoic, had a stress disorder, and sleep disorder. Probably 20 other conditions too. Geeezzz!

Anyway, I told them over and over that the meds were too much. That I was stoned. Hospital doc continued to recommend stronger doses and stronger meds. Clinic doc just ignored me. That's when I stopped taking the crap. I kept the anti-depressant, (welbutrin), cuz I knew I was depressed. And had xanax for when I got the panic attacks brough on by the welbutrin. And I began to get better.

The p-docs told me to go on permanent disability. They said I would not be able to care for myself; I was too sick. That was 9 years ago. Since I took myself off their "cure," I've worked full time. I've bought my home from my ex and maintained it. I've even had a vacation now and again. I've gone through ups and downs, yes, but, I'm far from "disabled." The p-docs were wrong, and had I listened to them, my life would have been a stoned out waste.

Since then, I've come to recognize, (and now my counselor and doc does too), that I'm highly sensitive to meds. You don't want to see me if I have to be on a steroid for some reason, for example! It's not a pretty sight. LOL! The SSRIs make me crazy.

So, I don't think that my story is a typical one. But, I think it is indicitive of a problem with the perception of the "disabled" person. It was assumed that I didn't know better for myself. And others were all too willing to bet MY life on their ideas and never consider what *I* had to say about it. Consequently, I, personally, am very leary of p-docs, I'm sorry to say. I haven't been back. But, I work with my counselor and my doc closely when I am going through a stressful time.

I do not want to suggest this course of action for anyone else!
My story is just that -- mine. Each one of us has our own, and we must deal with our own reality.

Done, I already have plenty of experience forgetting words in the middle of a sentence. But, at my age, I can laugh it off and call it "mental pause." LOL!
I'm glad you have such a good experience with Topamax!

I'll keep you all apprised but, today, I am feeling good again. And I slept like a baby once more! That's two nights of a full night's sleep. That hasn't happened all summer.

Shalom!

[shutterbug]

Teach, i was actually thinking about this upon waking this morning. There are as many bad pdocs out there as there are any other docs.

You did the right thing for you....very good. State pdocs seem to be the worst. I think it's a combo of things: Many are probably bad at what the do to begin with (hence why most of them end up working for the state at less desireable salaries instead of owning their own practice.) And working for a state facility can't be easy as you get the worst of the mental illness cases....the ones where most don't work for whatever reasons, and are raging addicts and less than educated...ect. It would take a toll on even the best docs. And since most of the patients they see are on the lower end of the education scale....they seem to get this frame of mind that they are just tired of arguing with their patients about the littlest of things....so that when a person comes into their office who may know as much about their illness (if not more than the doc does) then the don't realize that and just treat them as THEY think best....regardless what the patient says. I believe they become desensatized to the 'patient's side of things'.

That is the other point i wanted to make. No pdoc has to personally live with the choices they make for their patients. We do. We have to live with whatever THEY decide is right for us. They can prescribe us meds that turn us into zombies and cause us to loose our jobs and completely turn our lives upside down and sometimes even end up homeless.....all the while THEIR lives stay the same and they still make the same amount of money than if they'd listend more or tried harder to do it better.

The ones who've been doing it for years and years....i just think they forget sometimes how big of an impact their decisions can have on a single person's life.

But.....all this can happen regardless of if it's a pdoc or a gen doc. Pdocs just have far more knowledge (if they are good ones) than general docs. I think it better to put my life into the hands of a good pdoc who has seen how bipolar disorder can disable a person to the point of needing to go on disability.....than a gen doc who says to me "oh yeah, i know about bipolar disorder. i've been treating one bipolar patient for 13 years now. (and then a few months later when i'm at the most disabling part of my major depression and can barely function and need a friend to even get me to his office he says ) Are you doing drugs? Are you sure you are not on anything right now? ....You aren't on drugs??"

I repeated each time he asked that all i'd had that day was a cup of coffee and 2 cigs...i hadn't even taken my anti-d's yet that day. Yet he continued asking.

that was my family physcian who i'd been seeing for my depression for 2 years already and who had TONS of chances and information to have long ago diagnosed my as bipolar and prevented the severity of the major depression i was heading toward....if he'd had REALLY known what bipolar disorder was and the different types and aspects of it.

But....he always listened to me so i never questioned him.

And just after checking myself into the hospital ...he finally agreed that he didn't know what else he could do for me...that i was too much of a case for him to handle in that he had NO experience in dealing with a major depression. I asked him to refer me to a pdoc (which was extremely hard for me to focus enough to even ask him for) and he sent me out of his office without it.

My overall point is....do what's best for you and don't worry about what anyone else thinks, says or does....but also know that there are just as good pdocs out there as there are gen docs...who do listen, but also have the added benefit of knowing a great deal about mental illnesses and how to best treat them. It's just a matter of finding a good one and one that you feel good about working with. Same goes for counselors....or really anyone.

(((Hugs))))

[historyteach]

Hmmm....did not sleep well last night. Up frequently. I was able to get back to sleep, but, I awoke frequently.

Now, it *may* be as simple as the fact that I went to the fireman's clambake yesterday. I volunteer every year there, selling raffle and drink tickets. I actually won the big prize -- a Weber grill! Since I already have three grills, though, I told them to re-raffle it. But, I digress...

If you've never been to a real New England Clambake, you haven't lived. The food, clams, potatoes - sweet and white, onions, chorico, sausage, bratworst, hotdogs, fish, stuffing, corn on the cob and of course, steamer clams - are cooked on hot rocks and seaweed, covered with canvas. There is NOTHING like it! And as a volunteer, I get to eat it! LOL! So, my tummy was a bit full, and that may have been the reason for my lack of a good night's sleep. I hope so.

I called the union on Friday about the principal. I intend to put that jack*ss in his place. He will NOT dismiss me for no cause. I am a highly qualified teacher, and I don't give a dang if he doesn't like me. Too bad! He doesn't HAVE to like me; he has to do his JOB! And let me do mine without his interference. I will accept nothing less. If he doesn't like it, HE can leave! So, I was expecting to hear from the union today, but, was busy looking at houses all day, and didn't get back to them. There was a message at home. I will call them tomorrow morning. This is upsetting, but, I won't let that shmuck treat me like yesterday's socks. Screw HIM! So, you can see, that too may have been the reason for my lack of a good night's sleep. Or a combo.

Jenna, you make an excellent point about how the docs - pdoc or gen-doc - can devestate a patient by not listening or by lack of knowledge. In the end, it is always we who are responsible for our health.

I suppose if I ever had a chance to come across a good p-doc, I would listen to what was offered. Remember, though, the bytch behind me who took in my former tenent - the guy who robbed me of $20K - is a p-doc too! LOL! I guess there's more than a few strikes against them in my book; personal and professional. Even my counselor and I have joked about that one!

I appreciate your feedback much, though...

Shalom!

[historyteach]

[historyteach]

Prior to getting on the Topamax, I was going through a very stressful period. And, as a result, I was depressing. Once more, I was thinking the ultimate ending. Oh, I had no plan, and I had no intent to make a plan. I also knew to call for help. That's when I looked into the Topamax; talked to my counselor and doc; posted here and began taking it. It's been 5 days now.

I know it *shouldn't* be working yet. But, dang, I've been sleeping every night but one and not feeling like I want to die since I've been taking it. Can the placebo effect be *that* strong -- even when I'm aware of it?

I am a bit disappointed in one thing. Doc doesn't want me to continue the phentermine while taking the topamax. I just hope I don't stop loosing weight. I *know* the topamax is supposed to be good for that too, but, I also know that the phentermine *was* working! LOL!

BTW, I am no longer "pre-diabetic!" That's right! I've lost almost 30 pounds; had my blood sugar tested by the doc and it came back under the magic number 6. It's 5.2. And since each number is a VERY LARGE jump, according to the doc, I'm doing well. I'm "normal" -- for my blood sugar, anyway! LOL! :andy:
YEA!!!

I still want to loose more. And the daily, (as opposed to the three month), reading was still a bit high. Triglycerides were high too. Gotta cut the cheeseburgers, lol! But, I'm just starting to "get" what it all means. And it's a day at a time; a pound or two a week for healthy weight loss; and exercise almost daily.

I also found out just how great my doc is. I already knew that he was, but, I learned more today. Because the Topamax is "off label" for depression, he could get in trouble if there was a problem. I never knew that. And of course, since *I* requested it; and *I* did the research on it; and *I* presented my case to him, (he did double check with my counselor), well, *I* would NOT EVER hold *HIM* responsible! OMG! But, the trust he showed in me is heart-warming. I really appreciate him.... I've known him for gosh, I don't know how many years now, and I've "loved" him for a long, long time, (not that way -- you know what I mean...) But, this just adds another whole dimension. I'm so greatful to have him as a PCP, and a friend... (We used to go to the same temple.)

On another front, I did file a grievance against my boss. Lack of proceedure being followed during the interview. I am calling for another interview. There was no person from Human Resources there. And since my boss has admitted to lying to me, (in so many words), that lack makes a BIG difference! I want a neutral person there as witness. And, I want to bust his *ss the way he has done mine for the past two years now...going on three now.

I am also collecting my journals. I am going to Human Resources and filing a complaint for harrassment against him. The union guy said the HR person in charge of investigating these things is a witch who will dig and dig and continue digging to find something! LOL! Good! This jerk needs to learn what he did and that his actions have consequences! I *may* contact a lawyer too...I haven't decided. The union guy said that, with my journals, and the record of my grivances against him, ( the only ones in a 22 year career), I have a good case....So, I will see.....

Ok, I guess I've gabbed enough. Just getting this stuff out where I need to.
Would love to hear about the placebo effect, or, if any of you know if it can indeed effect me that quickly.

Come to think of it, I did know in just a few days that I couldn't take the serequel. That effected me quickly enough. So did some muscle relaxer that the doc gave me not too long ago, and I couldn't take it cuz I was stoned out.....as I keep on gabbing....
Thanks for listening.... :>)

Shalom!

[Done_With_It]

I'm not sure what you mean by the placebo effect.
And not sure if it matters or makes a difference but as I said yes topamax makes a difference for me everytime, which is the only reason I jumped on this thread.
It's not on the market for 'cutting' or 'bulimia' either and most doctors don't like
it for bipolar either, but I know if I'm off it in 5 days, my body knows very well.
It also helps with the suicidal thoughts for me as well. And I'll shut up about
my topamax now. I just think it's a good one for some people and many doctors
don't like it.

[historyteach]

Please don't shut up about it, Done!! I'm ASKING for your thoughts, for crying out loud, LOL!

I find it interesting that you find it so helpful for so many "off label" conditions too. I cannot understand why docs wouldn't like it if it works!

My counselor made a bit of a dig to me today. She said she told my doc that it was ironic that I rejected the bipolar diagnoses but am accepting a mood stabilizer medication.
I pointed out that both the Revolution Health web site, (where I first read about topamax), and the American Psychiatriatic Association web site said that bipolar could NOT be diagnosed if there were substance abuse; medicinal effects or other issues in place that could cloud the diagnoses. I also pointed out to her that, when the original diagnoses that she doesn't want to give up was made, (9 years ago), I was STONED OUT on meds, and the docs wouldn't listen to me. So, these "professionals" did not follow their own guidelines! I finally pointed out to her that she herself now recognizes how easily effected I am by medication. She agreed to all points. But, it looks like I'll have to do "damage control" with my doctor now.
And, thankfully, I know he will listen to me. :>)

Anyhow...I'm really glad that you've been helped by topamax so much Done. I hope it does the same for me.

Oh, yea, the "placebo effect" means this:
If you take a pill, and believe it will have an effect, it will.
Even if the pill is nothing but a sugar pill.
The mind is a beautiful instrument. We don't know exactly how it works. But, it's capable of many things. So, if you believe that your migrane will go away cuz the doc gave you this pill, and it's nothing but sugar, the power of your belief can make that horrific migrane go away! That's the placebo effect.
Hope that makes sense.

And thanks for listening.

Shalom!

[Done_With_It]

[QUOTE=historyteach;1468363]Please don't shut up about it, Done!! I'm ASKING for your thoughts, for crying out loud, LOL!

I find it interesting that you find it so helpful for so many "off label" conditions too. I cannot understand why docs wouldn't like it if it works!
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Part of it is because of the side effects, they name they've given it "dopamax"
doesn't help, they all call it that, but that goes away. I think they just like to try
new drugs, cuz they loved this one at first. They don't like it for me because of
the weight loss part, but none of these doctor knew me before, I'm where I've always been, have the same issues. I actually stay off diet pills when I'm on this,
they just don't listen to me. A therapist does, but doctors don't.
I told my last one, if I want to lose weight or not eat, I'm going to do it w/ or w/out topamax, please... I don't really get it.. Depakote affected my liver, this does nothing but good for me.
I was blown away that it helped me w/ so many things, I don't understand it..
It almost scares me.




My counselor made a bit of a dig to me today. She said she told my doc that it was ironic that I rejected the bipolar diagnoses but am accepting a mood stabilizer medication.
I pointed out that both the Revolution Health web site, (where I first read about topamax), and the American Psychiatriatic Association web site said that bipolar could NOT be diagnosed if there were substance abuse; medicinal effects or other issues in place that could cloud the diagnoses. I also pointed out to her that, when the original diagnoses that she doesn't want to give up was made, (9 years ago), I was STONED OUT on meds, and the docs wouldn't listen to me. I finally pointed out to her that she herself now recognizes how easily effected I am by medication. She agreed to all points. But, it looks like I'll have to do "damage control" with my doctor now. And, thankfully, I know he will listen to me. :>)

~~~~~~~~~~

I love doctors like that. A good doctor is nice to have.
These doctors who make judgments like that other one, arghh,


Anyhow...I'm really glad that you've been helped by topamax so much Done. I hope it does the same for me.

Oh, yea, the "placebo effect" means this:
If you take a pill, and believe it will have an effect, it will.
Even if the pill is nothing but a sugar pill.
The mind is a beautiful instrument. We don't know exactly how it works. But, it's capable of many things. So, if you believe that your migrane will go away cuz the doc gave you this pill, and it's nothing but sugar, the power of your belief can make that horrific migrane go away! That's the placebo effect.
Hope that makes sense.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yea it does... I wondered if I was doing that w/ topamax, but I realized the other day when I was talking about cutting and some other things how much easier it was for me now, and it dawned on me, OHHH, I'm also on Topamax right now..
It's like my second consious.... It's hard in the beginning to get used to so I forget how useful it is in the beginning. I hope it helps you... (((Teach)))

And thanks for listening.

Shalo

[historyteach]

Ok, didn't sleep too well last night again.
And was tired today -- this afternoon, visiting my mom.

I went to the union yesterday, and filed a grievance against my principal -- again! Lack of proper proceedure during interviews; no human resource personelle present. Do another interview is my request to rectify the situation.

I work for the Providence Public School Department.
They tell me where to report to work; they sign my check.
I will follow what they have said.
And they have told me that I work at Textron until there is a permanent position available. Period. When that happens, I leave Textron.
I have told Ed so and that anything else is not my problem, too.

((((Done)))))
Thanks.....

Shalom!

[historyteach]

Got some good news for a change! LOL!

I got into an old pair of jeans!!!!
This is the second "step down" I've had since I started exercise and diet in the spring due to a pre-diabetes scare.

I also squeezed into a new outfit I bought when I started trying to loose weight. I've had it hung up on my bedroom wall, as a visual reminder every morning when I wake up. Some days, I thought that outfit was taunting me. LOL!

And this morning, I'm wearning a pair of shorts I haven't been able to wear all summer.

I'm off to have my oatmeal and then to the gym.
Diet and exercise: It's worth it!!!

[historyteach]

Ok, well, it is Friday night; school starts Tuesday morning.
Principal says he wants us to part company. Jenna asked me on her thread if I would get any notice of where I'm supposed to go.
Well, all I can say is that I haven't yet....

I'm depressed, anxious and pissed off at being treated like yesterday's socks.
I went out to eat at the chinese buffet tonight and ate like a pig. I'm so mad at myself for that. Stress! Dang!!!

But, unless I get written notice from the school department that I should report elsewhere, I will report to where I've was told to go two years ago -- that is to that school again on Tuesday. Since today is Friday, and I've gotten no notice yet, it's not likely to happen before Tuesday, since Monday is a holiday. So, there will be a show down between the principal and I at the school on Tuesday.

I intend to tell him that he can talk to the union delegate, as far as I'm concerned and NOT to me for anything he has to say to me. I already KNOW he's a liar. And he KNOWS I know it. He has NOTHING more to say to me, and I will let him know exactly that. Anything more after those few words between us will be regarded by me as harrassment. He will be informed of that also. I will take notes for my lawyer to assess. I've had enough and I'm not going to take any more!

What a joke, this public education is.
By the way, did I ever tell you I was once nominated for "Best Teacher of the Year?" Yep. I never filled out the papers for it, cuz, at the time, I thought it was all "head" stuff. I did keep the letter from the dept of ed, though. It's in my portfolio.
See how a vetran teacher with 22 years, nominated as "best" is allowed to be handled?

No wonder public ed is so screwed up!

Shalom!

[historyteach]

I'm depressing alot today. Actually tonight.
I feel like I'm invisable.
I'm crying alot.

I tried to go to services tonight; I normally go on Saturday morning. But, I needed some company. And services always make me feel better.

I went to my old Temple in town here. They were in a meeting. Ok, there's a new Rabbi, so, maybe things have changed?

So, I drove up to Providence, a 25-30 minute drive. I knew I'd be a bit late, but, better late than never, right? Well, no one was there...
Then, it dawned on me.
The temples are still on summer time. Services were at 6:15, not 8:15! :andy:

So, all dressed up and no where to to. And yes, by the way, I got into a nice dress that I haven't been able to wear for quite some time. And I looked smashing!

I went to the local watering hole. I just ordered a diet soda, since I already pigged out at dinner. Ok, two issues. One, the jack *ss who is married and tried to put the make on me was there and tried again to be a pig. I got up and moved my seat.
Two, my friend's husband is a drunk. He's also mr know-it-all. And, on more than one occassion, he's pissed off just about everyone. We all know to let it go. But, he went after me the other day, complaining about how easy we teachers have it! OMG! I jumped down his throat like there was no tomorrow! :
Unlike me.
But, it was what it was. And I was NOT the least bit sorry. He knows what I'm going through and I don't need to hear this crap from him when he's sh!t-faced!

I think I'm going to have to remove myself from that gang of people. It's beginning to be a not so safe place for me any more.

Anyway, I'm just putting this out, hoping that I can get some rest. One of the "sleep hygene" assignments is when you have a lot on your mind, to write it down. Ok, it's down. I never did get the company I needed tonight...

Hope I haven't bored you to death....

Shalom!