Love as a verb

[liveweyerd]

How often I have tried to love myself by changing my thoughts, and am finding it more fruitful to lead with my feet and let the rest follow. If I go about treating myself with TENDER to my inner child LOVING all of me CARE and compassion I find myself being far more gentle with me as cherishing and precious in action, the loving feelings penetrate the heart and I feel worth the care.

[splendra]

What a sweet post. I fully support you in loving yourself cause you are very worth it....

[indigo]

Yes you are worth it live, you are enough.

hugs Annie

[MTBChick]

liveweyerd,
Oh how true that is!! If we wish to love ourselves as well as love others we must take action.

[historyteach]

Live;

This makes me think of the AA line that says:
"Fake it till you make it."

I mean no disrespect at all. For those of us with little or no self regard, we don't know how to love ourselves. So, we do have to fake it; copy others behaviors and turn that loving behavior towards ourselves. It's difficult to do when we don't think we deserve it, cuz we have so little sense of self.

And I so agree...you are worth all the love, compassion and respect there is. You deserve it.

Shalom!

[liveweyerd]

thank you.
I am working on making it authentic.
I spent two days all about loving the inner children. (I can look at myself and easily know that I would not treat my/a daughter the way I treat myself)
the third day I spent on the parent.
Today I was busy with errands and responsibilities.
I think I will attempt to keep up this rotation of two days on the inner kids and one on the parent.
At the same time keep up my Flylady behavorial therapy of self care and home care, which is aimed at quality of life improvement and establishing new habits.
None of this would be possible if it were not for my recent med change treating another long episode of major depression.

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

[GailJ]

I am so glad you realize and have found your inner child. I found and accepted mine ten years ago and I grieved so hard for her at first. Than got angry on her behalf and lashed out at many, then concentrated on my connection to that neglected child. I connected so many mistakes and negative behaviours that clung on for so many years. Why because that child was never loved and never taught strength and courage.
It's weird how I always kept that child locked in so deep and hidden that she remained a victim for so many years well into my adulthood. I always knew she was there and could remember but somehow that remembering for me in the past was like watching a movie. I saw her but didn't remember feeling her.

It wasn't till my first full blown PTSD episode hit and a long series of flashbacks both in sleep and awake over about six months did I ever connect that imprisoned child that abused victim and I had to consciously unlock that subconscious door and let that child out. I envisioned finding her alone, scared, cryingand lost and let her out letting her yell, scream, cry, be so angry, need love and guidance. I was feeling her rather than replaying her as previews to a movie. She was real, she was me and she needed my love as an adult.

I than envisioned holding her, hugging her, giving her all the stregnth and courage I could, and keeping her close to my heart and giving her all the love and attention she deserved for so, so long. At the time this happened I was alone, had never heard of PTSD, had recieved no counselling, meds, or support of any kind and had no computer to reserch what was happening to me. I did this completely alone and that child I think just could no longer be kept locked away and was getting out no matter what. With or without my consent.

The inner child in all of us is real, I used to scoff at the idea in reading about it and thought it was rediculous, psychiatric mumbo jumbo, but it is real and in finding that child and fullfilling the needs that our family's or lives never allowed really alters your adult life and behaviours. That is when I stopped being a victim and became a survivor. A true survivor.

Just wanted to share that with you and others here. That child is and always will be a part of me only now instead of being hiddin in the corners of my subconscious I carry her warm and safe and loved in my heart.

[liveweyerd]

thank you all, especially Gail for recounting your journey with your inner child.

Yesterday was spent on behavorial therapy with Flylady.