I think I am crazy

[kelliegirl]

It's true.

I want to ask my husband for a separation/divorce. I can't stay in this marriage any longer. I have no confidence in myself and my self-esteem is in the toilet. There are times when I am in this house and I feel like running away. I get this overwhelming feeling of impending doom and it's crippling. I can't seem to concentrate for any period of time and all of my thoughts are scattered. I don't sleep very well and I either eat constantly or I don't eat for days. (I do post in the Eating Disorder portion of this forum and my story is chronicled in a post I made in the New to Recovery forum).

I want to tell my husband NOW but my father suggested that I seek legal advice first. He's worried I will jeopardize myself if I tell him to go now. I have so many thoughts racing through my head that it's like my feet are stuck in concrete. I've been online looking for some kind of support groups and I've been trying to find a therapist. I sit at my desk at work and I want to be somewhere else. I can't function in my job sometimes. I have an enormous amount of responsibility at work and at home. I have a little boy and some days I feel like I am on autopilot with him.

A few years ago I went on Paxil to treat PTSD and Post Partum Depression. It helped me for a while but then I began to have so many negative side effects that I had to get off of it. I gained a ton of weight and I began to have really weird thoughts. When I was going to start a new job I asked my doctor to take me off of it. I felt so much better about myself and my ability to handle my life. Now I feel so lost again. I don't really want pills again but I don't know what else to do to save my sanity.

[Phinneas]

Sounds like severe anxiety to me, kelliegirl. We cannot diagnose or offer suggestions here on SR because we are NOT medical doctors, except to recommend professional help. I am so glad you are seeking a therapist. Please do ASAP as she or he can help you sort out some of this stuff and also provide lots of ways of dealing with anxiety. The best way I have found to find a GOOD therapist is to ask close, trusted friends in whom I can confide.

Best to you, kelliegirl. Keep reading and posting, k? You are definitely not alone.

[Lizrox]

Please find a therapist. I would also seek legal advice too. If you do want a divorce go to mediation. It is alot cheaper and less stressfull. That's what my dad told me, (he's a lawyer). Best of luck to you..Hang in there..

Liz