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06-25-2007, 04:59 AM
| #51 (permalink) |
| Member  |
Well, I guess that is good news. Otherwise they'd be ringing at your door. I know what it is like to watch and worry as horrors go down, but what can you do about it? And THAT, I suppose is the most frustrating thing....nothing to do to help. Always on my mind, Tena
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters  |
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06-27-2007, 09:52 AM
| #52 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter  Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,928
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My SO saw him today and said he was in a terrible state and could barely speak, he had his cell phone cut off and so one of his workers had rung us at home about it. I can't bear it, my other son detests him, my partner has had enough and I have to appear strong....today I broke down when I heard of his plight and I know I can do nothing. I am at my absolute wits end.
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté  |
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06-27-2007, 03:06 PM
| #53 (permalink) |
| Administrator  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 22,760
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Annie, I am so, so sorry that you have to go through this. And, it's especially hard when it's causing big problems with your whole family. I pray that your son will get the help he needs and that you will find some peace. Please try to rest, my friend.
__________________  And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver |
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06-27-2007, 03:16 PM
| #54 (permalink) |
| Member |
Aww Annie I am so sorry. It must hurt terribly. I can't think of a thing to say to be helpful,,,but know I love you and am sending hugs and thoughts of strength and some redemption for the situation to you. love, Tena
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters |
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06-29-2007, 01:20 AM
| #57 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,928
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The letter has arrived, saying the things that always pull at my heartstrings...the things I know he would want me to hear. I am putting it to one side, I know he can't keep his promises. indie
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté |
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06-29-2007, 06:57 AM
| #58 (permalink) |
| Member |
I suppose he cares very much what you think and wants to please you...but as you said maybe he just isn't able. If he can't do it for himself...much as he wishes, he can't do it for you or anyone else. off topic...I opened my bedside drawer yesterday and there lays the card you sent. It's the only one in there. 
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters |
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06-29-2007, 08:02 AM
| #59 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,928
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I'm so glad you liked the card enough to keep it Tena, you've made me smile again, you're getting good at that. hugs Annie
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté |
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06-30-2007, 01:56 AM
| #61 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,928
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I'm up and down and unsettled generally, thanks RH, thanks everyone for all you wonderful support and helping me keep some sense of grounding. hugs Annie
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté |
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07-02-2007, 11:57 PM
| #63 (permalink) |
| Reikihelps  Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: PA
Posts: 221
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feeling unsettled myself but trying to just accept that feeling and still get some rest. It's clear to me that I can't do a thing. tried it all already. so I need to learn to breathe and live with this anxiousness and fear. Are you able to detach from it and keep living your life?
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07-03-2007, 01:25 AM
| #64 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,928
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I am doing my best, until something triggers me, I know I can't change anything and I wish he could find some peace.
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté |
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07-07-2007, 01:41 AM
| #65 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,928
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He's off again phoning and asking for money and I'm not giving in, my partner is at breaking point with the things he's said. I am going to protect my family from him until he cleans up his act.....gets meds changed and stops drinking and abusing his meds etc.
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté |
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07-07-2007, 09:22 AM
| #67 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Harwich, MA
Posts: 2,749
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I was diagnosed 20 years ago, and staying on my meds has ALWAYS been a problem for me. Taking opiates wasn't though, go figure. I just got out of rehab (dual diagnosis) and they had us write our addiction history, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that in my case when I stop taking the meds, or take them sporadically, I start using. I think it's common cycle in people with a major mental illnes and addiction history. Maybe someday all us bipolar people will smack ourselves silly and just take the damn meds, lol
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07-13-2007, 02:02 AM
| #69 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,928
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He is drinking like a fish and has no money left for this month. Our friend Pierre who owns a pizaria has offerd him work for food and he won't take it. The village is very sad for him.
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté |
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07-13-2007, 02:23 AM
| #70 (permalink) |
| Member |
You are so beloved ...that there is a global village who is sad for him. I am sorry I missed earlier posts....having problems with it with this site. I miss alot. I can't imagine how hard it must be. I believe you did the only thing you could by not giving money. And I worry so about the impact of this on your partnership. I hope there is not conflict between you. I fear I would be torn in two. Good grief, the best thing I can come up with at this point would be for him to be arrested for public intoxication or something to put him in jail, as a safe palce where he cannot drink, his meds are monitored and given to him and he is fed. My feelings and thoughts about the whole thing would be different if it were "only" alcoholism at work. Such is not the case. He deserves to be safe. All I can offer is my heartfelt compassion and best wishes...for all of you. Especially for you.......you have really been "whammied" lately. My heart hurts with yours. much love, Tena
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters |
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07-13-2007, 05:07 AM
| #71 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,928
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Thanks for those words live. The police know him and are very kind to him, they are aware of his erratic behaviours and will always talk to him and contact us if anything happens, for example him going on a rampage, this gives me some sense of security. He's just phoned me again sying he knows the consequences of drinking on his medication eg: seizures and death, say's he wants to stop, as always. I told him that wanting isn't enough that he must do it or leave his little one without a papa.
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté |
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07-17-2007, 02:38 AM
| #72 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,928
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He phoned last evening asking for money, he had borrowed 140€ from a so called 'friend' who is known around here for his dealing drugs and assaulting people. Son called from a telephone box as he has been cut off for life for neglecting to pay his cell phone bills. He had spent all that money in 2/3 days on drink, cigarettes and goodness knows what else. He is going to sell his or exchange a very expensive bracelet, he won't get anywhere near the value for it. He sounded very afraid, I told him we have no money left and that if we did have we would not be giving it to him. to buy whatever he thinks he needs for today. He called again and I remained resolute, my heart was breaking again as I said it. He has no, we will do some washing for him..that's it. We have been here so many times, he won't go to the hospital. His social worker has all but wiped her hands of him. Haven't heard from him today...I don't want to get the call, that we are always expecting.....He has to continue to pay for his cell phone untill the contract is over, even though he can't use it! he also is still paying for the car he trashed until next year. He used the insurance money on goodness knows what He always seems to talk his way out of real trouble, when he needs too. I can barely breathe.
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté |
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07-17-2007, 05:30 AM
| #73 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake
Posts: 25,172
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(((Annie))), your son is in my prayers each day, as are you. The only way I could find peace and let my own son live in his mistakes, was to say a prayer each day and give him to God. That sounds so easy, but it took me years before I could do that. In the end, there is nothing you or I can do for our sons except love them and pray for them each day. We've done our best and the rest is between them and God. Just know I care and understand your pain. Hugs
__________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~  |
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07-17-2007, 06:13 AM
| #74 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,928
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Oh Ann I know how you've suffered. It's so very hard to see people destroy themselves. I will take your advice and give him up to the Universe each day, it's all I can do now. Thank you. hugs Annie
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté |
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