They win - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

thiskidknows · 05-30-2007, 01:22 PM

why is it that things never go right
why does everything have to be a fight
no matter how hard u try u never forget
to me they always be a threat
those who say we have won
how can that be, when I was outdone
I didn't even think it was wrong
that's just sick, god I just don't belong
It may have stopped, but it still lives within
I feel them under my skin
the memories the pain I live thru each day
I just wish it would all just go away.
The past is now controlling my present
adds to my life, all this torment.
will it ever ease and stop
Or do I have to fall and drop.
I've crashed and burned
all those years have now returned
I can't relive 27 years like this
no longer do I want to exist.
I hand my cards ins
and say goodnite u win.

Alive · 05-30-2007, 01:44 PM

Jody i am waiting.come here and say you're alright...i will never get tired of fighting for you.

we all love you

thiskidknows · 05-30-2007, 02:24 PM

I'm tierd of fighting..I want so much to just curl up and di*. to disappear from the world. I've cut myself and now its bleeding real bad, I done something stupid and put vinegar on it i've never done that before. I'm messing up. I just want to be held ad it won't happen, it won't ever happen. Sorry. sorry for everything, sorry.

Alive · 05-30-2007, 02:26 PM

Please if not for you for us call 911.ok?

ontrackagain · 05-30-2007, 02:35 PM

Jody,

I don't even know you...I am literally a world away. But if I picked up this mantle again, so can you. Please listen to karim and call someone close to you ASAP.

teej · 05-30-2007, 02:38 PM

JODY!!!!! NO! DOnt do that, I CANT BELIEVE IT. Call 911 now please!!! SweetiE YOU GOT TO HANG ON!!

teej · 05-30-2007, 02:40 PM

****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jody, are you there?

Alive · 05-30-2007, 02:41 PM

i think Jody logged out Tj. prayers up.....

teej · 05-30-2007, 02:42 PM

I hope she emails me, we were making some progress!!!!!!! Dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***Anna*** · 05-30-2007, 02:43 PM

I hope you call 911 and get the help you need.

My prayers are with you.

thiskidknows · 05-30-2007, 02:54 PM

I will go hospital if it doesn't stop. I'm sorry.

Alive · 05-30-2007, 03:00 PM

Thanks!you do that!i'm so glad you came back!

cyberwolf · 05-30-2007, 03:20 PM

Gee Sh*t what have I missed?

Jody, have you gone to hospital?, or are you ok. Listen to those on SR who have been where you are and are now doing ok,
There are lots of people here who care, please let us know.

hugz

L
xx

xXBacktoBlackXx · 05-30-2007, 03:23 PM

Lost_child, hugs for you!!!! Are you feeling any better?? HUGS.

thiskidknows · 05-30-2007, 03:32 PM

I'm waiting for it to calm down, it should stop bleeding soon, it has to. i'm sorry I tried not to and tried writing instead but it didn't help. I'm sorry.

CW, I can't reply as ur mail box was full.

cyberwolf · 05-30-2007, 03:36 PM

Hey Lost,

Inbox now empty!!!, Glad you are OK, You need to keep posting and talking. Loads of people here care deeply about you and hate to see you hurting emotionally, but please don't hurt yourself physically too, you have had more that your fair share of pain in life.

Please keep an eye on the bleeding, and if it doesnt calm down 999 or 911 get help.

sending you healing and loving hugs big time

xxx

**Dee74** · 05-30-2007, 03:40 PM

Little Child,

if this is the same cut, it's been going for an hour now...even an grizzled old 'no hospital' campaigner like me is starting to think maybe a casulty trip and a bandage might'nt be a bad idea...

take care
D

juliee · 05-30-2007, 03:50 PM

Prayers for you Lost Child.....Please follow advice and seek help. PLEASE. You are loved.

thiskidknows · 05-30-2007, 04:04 PM

I cut to realise the pain,
the pain that hides deep within.
I feel them on me, they crawling on my skin
I reach for the blade and start to cut again.
Realise the poison from inside
the dirty feelings won't subside.
the blood is the tears
that hides all my fears.
The feelings were too intense.
no more can I keep up the pretense.
I reach for the blade, hold it to my wrist
I cut to deep I can't resist.
The blood drips, as the light fades
all that shines are my blades
I close my eyes and say goodnite
I promise you I tried to fight

I can't stop crying, I'm losing it aren't I. Sorry.

**Dee74** · 05-30-2007, 04:15 PM

no, you not losing it - you sound pretty lucid to me...which I'm very pleased about !
how's it going now ?

D

Toomutch · 05-30-2007, 04:28 PM

Lost Child please listen to the others. I am sending up prayers for you.

~Toomutch

thiskidknows · 05-30-2007, 04:29 PM

its still bleeding and i've cut again. I keep cutting. I cut my body now noone will want to come near me they will hate me just like I do.

thiskidknows · 05-30-2007, 04:30 PM

I will go hospital. I'm sorry. sorry.

Toomutch · 05-30-2007, 04:31 PM

Please Lost, Call 911.

***Anna*** · 05-30-2007, 04:32 PM

Please check in when you get back and let us know how you are doing.

You know that we care.

05-30-2007, 01:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
thiskidknows Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: England Posts: 441	They win why is it that things never go right why does everything have to be a fight no matter how hard u try u never forget to me they always be a threat those who say we have won how can that be, when I was outdone I didn't even think it was wrong that's just sick, god I just don't belong It may have stopped, but it still lives within I feel them under my skin the memories the pain I live thru each day I just wish it would all just go away. The past is now controlling my present adds to my life, all this torment. will it ever ease and stop Or do I have to fall and drop. I've crashed and burned all those years have now returned I can't relive 27 years like this no longer do I want to exist. I hand my cards ins and say goodnite u win.

05-30-2007, 01:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
Alive believer Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Europe Posts: 2,411 Blog Entries: 1	Jody i am waiting.come here and say you're alright...i will never get tired of fighting for you. we all love you __________________ the biggest power a being is given is the now. in the now there is will, choice and therefore a power with no boundaries; for what is born from pure love has no seasons, only continuity, then growth. your spirit will tell you the truth. there's a silence within the silence.

05-30-2007, 02:26 PM	#4 (permalink)
Alive believer Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Europe Posts: 2,411 Blog Entries: 1	Please if not for you for us call 911.ok? __________________ the biggest power a being is given is the now. in the now there is will, choice and therefore a power with no boundaries; for what is born from pure love has no seasons, only continuity, then growth. your spirit will tell you the truth. there's a silence within the silence.

05-30-2007, 02:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
Alive believer Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Europe Posts: 2,411 Blog Entries: 1	i think Jody logged out Tj. prayers up..... __________________ the biggest power a being is given is the now. in the now there is will, choice and therefore a power with no boundaries; for what is born from pure love has no seasons, only continuity, then growth. your spirit will tell you the truth. there's a silence within the silence.

05-30-2007, 02:43 PM	#10 (permalink)
*Anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 22,757	I hope you call 911 and get the help you need. My prayers are with you. __________________ And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver

05-30-2007, 02:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
thiskidknows Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: England Posts: 441	I'm tierd of fighting..I want so much to just curl up and di*. to disappear from the world. I've cut myself and now its bleeding real bad, I done something stupid and put vinegar on it i've never done that before. I'm messing up. I just want to be held ad it won't happen, it won't ever happen. Sorry. sorry for everything, sorry.

05-30-2007, 02:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
ontrackagain Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: GA Posts: 53	Jody, I don't even know you...I am literally a world away. But if I picked up this mantle again, so can you. Please listen to karim and call someone close to you ASAP.

05-30-2007, 02:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
teej tj Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Southern Oregon Posts: 1,756	JODY!!!!! NO! DOnt do that, I CANT BELIEVE IT. Call 911 now please!!! SweetiE YOU GOT TO HANG ON!!

05-30-2007, 02:40 PM	#7 (permalink)
teej tj Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Southern Oregon Posts: 1,756	****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jody, are you there?

05-30-2007, 02:42 PM	#9 (permalink)
teej tj Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Southern Oregon Posts: 1,756	I hope she emails me, we were making some progress!!!!!!! Dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

05-30-2007, 02:54 PM	#11 (permalink)
thiskidknows Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: England Posts: 441	I will go hospital if it doesn't stop. I'm sorry.

05-30-2007, 03:00 PM	#12 (permalink)
Alive believer Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Europe Posts: 2,411 Blog Entries: 1	Thanks!you do that!i'm so glad you came back! __________________ the biggest power a being is given is the now. in the now there is will, choice and therefore a power with no boundaries; for what is born from pure love has no seasons, only continuity, then growth. your spirit will tell you the truth. there's a silence within the silence.

05-30-2007, 03:20 PM	#13 (permalink)
cyberwolf Determined Join Date: May 2007 Location: On the verge of insanity Posts: 330	Gee Sh*t what have I missed? Jody, have you gone to hospital?, or are you ok. Listen to those on SR who have been where you are and are now doing ok, There are lots of people here who care, please let us know. hugz L xx __________________ Wolves are not our brothers; they are not our subordinates, either. They are another nation, caught up just like us in the complex web of time and life. H. Beston

05-30-2007, 03:23 PM	#14 (permalink)
xXBacktoBlackXx tangled up in blue Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: IN Posts: 401	Lost_child, hugs for you!!!! Are you feeling any better?? HUGS. __________________ "I don't ever wanna drink again/I just need a friend." ~ Amy Winehouse, "Rehab"

05-30-2007, 03:32 PM	#15 (permalink)
thiskidknows Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: England Posts: 441	I'm waiting for it to calm down, it should stop bleeding soon, it has to. i'm sorry I tried not to and tried writing instead but it didn't help. I'm sorry. CW, I can't reply as ur mail box was full.

05-30-2007, 03:36 PM	#16 (permalink)
cyberwolf Determined Join Date: May 2007 Location: On the verge of insanity Posts: 330	Hey Lost, Inbox now empty!!!, Glad you are OK, You need to keep posting and talking. Loads of people here care deeply about you and hate to see you hurting emotionally, but please don't hurt yourself physically too, you have had more that your fair share of pain in life. Please keep an eye on the bleeding, and if it doesnt calm down 999 or 911 get help. sending you healing and loving hugs big time xxx __________________ Wolves are not our brothers; they are not our subordinates, either. They are another nation, caught up just like us in the complex web of time and life. H. Beston

05-30-2007, 03:40 PM	#17 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,325	Little Child, if this is the same cut, it's been going for an hour now...even an grizzled old 'no hospital' campaigner like me is starting to think maybe a casulty trip and a bandage might'nt be a bad idea... take care D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

05-30-2007, 03:50 PM	#18 (permalink)
juliee Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Alive Posts: 168	Prayers for you Lost Child.....Please follow advice and seek help. PLEASE. You are loved.

05-30-2007, 04:04 PM	#19 (permalink)
thiskidknows Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: England Posts: 441	I cut to realise the pain, the pain that hides deep within. I feel them on me, they crawling on my skin I reach for the blade and start to cut again. Realise the poison from inside the dirty feelings won't subside. the blood is the tears that hides all my fears. The feelings were too intense. no more can I keep up the pretense. I reach for the blade, hold it to my wrist I cut to deep I can't resist. The blood drips, as the light fades all that shines are my blades I close my eyes and say goodnite I promise you I tried to fight I can't stop crying, I'm losing it aren't I. Sorry.

05-30-2007, 04:15 PM	#20 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,325	no, you not losing it - you sound pretty lucid to me...which I'm very pleased about ! how's it going now ? D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

05-30-2007, 04:28 PM	#21 (permalink)
Toomutch with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Co. Posts: 3,178	Lost Child please listen to the others. I am sending up prayers for you. ~Toomutch

05-30-2007, 04:29 PM	#22 (permalink)
thiskidknows Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: England Posts: 441	its still bleeding and i've cut again. I keep cutting. I cut my body now noone will want to come near me they will hate me just like I do.

05-30-2007, 04:30 PM	#23 (permalink)
thiskidknows Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: England Posts: 441	I will go hospital. I'm sorry. sorry.

05-30-2007, 04:31 PM	#24 (permalink)
Toomutch with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Co. Posts: 3,178	Please Lost, Call 911.

05-30-2007, 04:32 PM	#25 (permalink)
*Anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 22,757	Please check in when you get back and let us know how you are doing. You know that we care. __________________ And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver

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