Wanting to give up - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

angel08955 · 03-12-2007, 12:51 PM

I'm getting to the point of feeling like just giving up and being this way for life. It's like no one wants to see me better. People say they want me to be myself and to be a better person, but how can I when the negativity is getting to be too much. I ask nicely not to be so negative and I try to explain what it does to me. Al I get from people on and offline is that I am only seeking attention. I'm so close to a break down. Worse then just crying. I have no appitite, I'm getting the same cold every 3 weeks now, I want to cry, and I just myself losing it. Is it so much to ask for those people who claim to be my friend to be thruthful bout where they stand, and to support and encourage me? It feels like I am in the wrong to ask those things. Everyone says they're my friend in messenager but they get on a message board where everyone is bashing me and they join in. I can't do this anymore. HELP ME!!!!

**Cynay** · 03-12-2007, 12:57 PM

Hey there Love

If Im understanding this correctly (and I might be off base) you breaking down because other people are not supporting/positive with you?

Are you trying to do an inside job with people fromthe outside? What are "you" doing today to help you? People can only "make" us feel what we allow them too, you have control of what you let in. So if what your letting in causes you pain.... dont do it.

Does that make sense ??

angel08955 · 03-12-2007, 12:58 PM

It does. I'm just so sick of everything I do not being ok with anyone. I mean everyone sees what I do as wrong, when they have done similar. They judge me like crazy. I am working on me and they expect to see a difference right away, but I know it doesn't happen, but yet I'm being pressured to be more and do more than i can right now.

***Morning Glory*** · 03-12-2007, 01:00 PM

When I started out in my recovery I had to drop all the friends that put me down and made me the brunt of their jokes. I held on to a couple of people who were supportive and then found people here who were always supportive and always caring. It did wonders for me. It's not easy separating ourselves from people that are not good for us. It's a process to be able to do that. I even had to create a lot of distance from family members.

It takes time. Don't give up yet.

Hugs,
MG

**Cynay** · 03-12-2007, 01:03 PM

Being sick and tired of it is a good thing.

Nothing will change unless you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

You cant change them, you can only work on you .... again, take the focus off them and what they want. Put the focus on you and the next right thing for you. You are letting outside people fill up the hole inside you... and it sounds to me like its painful..... so if it hurts dont do it.

angel08955 · 03-12-2007, 07:08 PM

so get this i get this email this eneving: "I just wanted to say thanks for ruining my life, Because of you I am no longer sober and no longer employed, I have worked so ******* hard on this and I just cant deal with the bullshit anymore, I really thaught being sober would make things so much better but **** it hasnt changed one ******* bit. I am tired, I am alone, and I am worthless, You are a ******* peace of work Trish and I hope you are happy now. because guess what I have lost all hope I have ever had for myself or a possable future."

kind of funny how he blames me for everything. he says i was an unamanyous caller who got him fired, he says i caused him to drink, and guess what? he's back with his ex. yeah so i went having a good feeling because kyle is home from the hospital, but now it crashed.

**margo** · 03-13-2007, 11:55 AM

Lovelife - do you ever actually read people's replies to your posts? I've followed your threads for a while now and good people here are reaching out to you and offering kindness and good advice on how to move forward, but I never really see a response from you, just a new thread about a new crisis (but almost always around the same issue, i.e. people being mean to you). It's painfully obvious that you need to reevaluate whom you consider a friend. If these people do nothing but hurt you, DON'T COMMUNICATE WITH THEM. Nothing changes if nothing changes - like Cynay said, if you're looking to the outside to fix an inside job then you're setting yourself up for disappointment again and again. Start with YOU. Think of ONE thing that you can do FOR YOURSELF today to make YOU feel better. Start a new thread if you wish, but come back to it, read and absorb the replies. If you don't understand something, ask for clarification. But try to stick with one thread for a while and try your best to listen to what is being said. We do care, and would like to help you, but you have to make an effort to help yourself too.

angel08955 · 03-21-2007, 07:41 PM

sorry i was gone for awhile. i was having issues logging in under lovelife. thanks to everyone for the help.

angel08955 · 03-28-2007, 05:54 AM

I';m glad I am done with this guy. Things have been much better lately. Just pissed off at him for lying and blaming me bout losing his job, when he did not lose it. But hey, least we were done before I was stupid to go meet him.

suckerpunch · 04-06-2007, 05:56 PM

i have this too

03-12-2007, 12:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
angel08955 Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: ohio Posts: 154	Wanting to give up I'm getting to the point of feeling like just giving up and being this way for life. It's like no one wants to see me better. People say they want me to be myself and to be a better person, but how can I when the negativity is getting to be too much. I ask nicely not to be so negative and I try to explain what it does to me. Al I get from people on and offline is that I am only seeking attention. I'm so close to a break down. Worse then just crying. I have no appitite, I'm getting the same cold every 3 weeks now, I want to cry, and I just myself losing it. Is it so much to ask for those people who claim to be my friend to be thruthful bout where they stand, and to support and encourage me? It feels like I am in the wrong to ask those things. Everyone says they're my friend in messenager but they get on a message board where everyone is bashing me and they join in. I can't do this anymore. HELP ME!!!!

03-12-2007, 12:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
Cynay Forum Leader Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,795	Hey there Love If Im understanding this correctly (and I might be off base) you breaking down because other people are not supporting/positive with you? Are you trying to do an inside job with people fromthe outside? What are "you" doing today to help you? People can only "make" us feel what we allow them too, you have control of what you let in. So if what your letting in causes you pain.... dont do it. Does that make sense ?? __________________ Cynay "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." Harvey Fierstein

03-12-2007, 01:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
*Morning Glory* Administrator Midi Golf Champion! Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: CA Posts: 1,601	When I started out in my recovery I had to drop all the friends that put me down and made me the brunt of their jokes. I held on to a couple of people who were supportive and then found people here who were always supportive and always caring. It did wonders for me. It's not easy separating ourselves from people that are not good for us. It's a process to be able to do that. I even had to create a lot of distance from family members. It takes time. Don't give up yet. Hugs, MG __________________ Pro 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

03-12-2007, 01:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
Cynay Forum Leader Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,795	Being sick and tired of it is a good thing. Nothing will change unless you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. You cant change them, you can only work on you .... again, take the focus off them and what they want. Put the focus on you and the next right thing for you. You are letting outside people fill up the hole inside you... and it sounds to me like its painful..... so if it hurts dont do it. __________________ Cynay "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." Harvey Fierstein

03-13-2007, 11:55 AM	#7 (permalink)
margo Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia Posts: 1,741	Lovelife - do you ever actually read people's replies to your posts? I've followed your threads for a while now and good people here are reaching out to you and offering kindness and good advice on how to move forward, but I never really see a response from you, just a new thread about a new crisis (but almost always around the same issue, i.e. people being mean to you). It's painfully obvious that you need to reevaluate whom you consider a friend. If these people do nothing but hurt you, DON'T COMMUNICATE WITH THEM. Nothing changes if nothing changes - like Cynay said, if you're looking to the outside to fix an inside job then you're setting yourself up for disappointment again and again. Start with YOU. Think of ONE thing that you can do FOR YOURSELF today to make YOU feel better. Start a new thread if you wish, but come back to it, read and absorb the replies. If you don't understand something, ask for clarification. But try to stick with one thread for a while and try your best to listen to what is being said. We do care, and would like to help you, but you have to make an effort to help yourself too. __________________ Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky. ~Ojibwe saying~

03-12-2007, 12:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
angel08955 Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: ohio Posts: 154	It does. I'm just so sick of everything I do not being ok with anyone. I mean everyone sees what I do as wrong, when they have done similar. They judge me like crazy. I am working on me and they expect to see a difference right away, but I know it doesn't happen, but yet I'm being pressured to be more and do more than i can right now.

03-12-2007, 07:08 PM	#6 (permalink)
angel08955 Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: ohio Posts: 154	so get this i get this email this eneving: "I just wanted to say thanks for ruining my life, Because of you I am no longer sober and no longer employed, I have worked so ***** hard on this and I just cant deal with the bullshit anymore, I really thaught being sober would make things so much better but it hasnt changed one *** bit. I am tired, I am alone, and I am worthless, You are a ***** peace of work Trish and I hope you are happy now. because guess what I have lost all hope I have ever had for myself or a possable future." kind of funny how he blames me for everything. he says i was an unamanyous caller who got him fired, he says i caused him to drink, and guess what? he's back with his ex. yeah so i went having a good feeling because kyle is home from the hospital, but now it crashed.

03-21-2007, 07:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
angel08955 Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: ohio Posts: 154	sorry i was gone for awhile. i was having issues logging in under lovelife. thanks to everyone for the help.

03-28-2007, 05:54 AM	#9 (permalink)
angel08955 Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: ohio Posts: 154	I';m glad I am done with this guy. Things have been much better lately. Just pissed off at him for lying and blaming me bout losing his job, when he did not lose it. But hey, least we were done before I was stupid to go meet him.

04-06-2007, 05:56 PM	#10 (permalink)
suckerpunch Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: somewhere Posts: 12	i have this too

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