not a good night just need to say it

[still_me]

This is a very bad night for me. I just need to type it out I guess. I am getting further into a hole I can't seem to get out of. Life seems just too hard sometimes. All I can think to do for tonight is go to bed with my headphones on to drown out the ugly voices inside and hope tomorrow is a little better.

I'm sorry I don't come here and carry on conversations right now. I just can't seem to do it. I just have to pop in and out and type or stay away for now and I've tried that and find myself back here cause things are just too bad.

I think meds are not working but i'm having the side effects and they really don't wan to increase it which means diff. meds to try and i feel like a guinea pig and I just suffer cause either i'm doped up, which i wish i could be tonight, or the meds make me feel worse or something. I thought they were helping but they've stopped working.

[historyteach]

I'm sorry you're having a bad night, still me...
Are you taking care of yourself physically? Emotionally? Mentally? And spirituality? I know I have to make an effort to do so. When I do, the payoff is feeling better and feeling better about myself too.

Shalom!

[ccgirl]

Is there anyone you can call?

[Bozo]

Are you out there?? Give us a shout out. Hope you are OK. Mike

[still_me]

hey guys,

I'm still here. I don't really know how i'm feeling right now but i guess better???? I mean they upped some meds up really high and said they would pretty much knock me out for a while but that is what they want them to do. I made the committment to them that I would do this for now and see them again next week. Better than a hospital for sure.

So the meds have me half out of it alot right now so I honestly can't say things are good or bad. I"m just kinda numb and exhausted right now.

[IO Storm]

Dear still me:

If you are not taking anything other than your prescribed

meds, why not be good to youself and just rest? I have

been resting for almost nine months and my health is

slowly returning.

Sleep.

I'll check in with you tomorrow.

Love,

IO

[Bozo]

Originally Posted by IO Storm

Dear still me:

If you are not taking anything other than your prescribed

meds, why not be good to youself and just rest? I have

been resting for almost nine months and my health is

slowly returning.

Sleep.

I'll check in with you tomorrow.

Love,

IO

Excellent idea!!!!

[IO Storm]

Okay, still me, where are you? Take a sec to post.

We just care aboutcha!

[still_me]

Thanks guys. I'm still here. I just am totally wipped out. The good part is when I stop and think about it I can't really think. I know that probably sounds weird but no bad, no good, just here and exhausted. I have been sleeping most day off and on right now which is better than what was happening before. Maybe numb is what i need to get back to "normal".

Thanks again for all your support. It's nice to have support from people who aren't looking at me like I"m a nutjob or something.

[aasharon90]

I remember when i was first getting started
on my medicine for anxiety 2 yrs ago....it was
all new to me....so it took me a whole yr to
find one that would work with my own system...

If stay in touch with my physician all the time
letting him and the nurse know how i was feeling...
esp with the different side affects....

It took time to test each one and allowing each
to try to do its thing inside me.

Finally we found one that seemed to be ok...

Anyway.... be patiant and honest with ur physician
on how u r dealing with ur medicine.