can't decide on this therapist

[mjs]

Have been seeing a psychotherapist for 2.5 months once a weeek. My primary problems are addiction(alcohol and weed) and depression. My therapist practices depth psychotherapy. I was interested in this because I tried cognitive therapy and I feel the way I feel not the way I think. So i had hoped that a more psychodynamic form of therapy was worth a try.I have been clean and sober the length of the therapy.She believes that the abuse I suffered when I was a child(physical,emotional,1 incest incident) has a lot o do with my addiction/depression. So far,so good. The problem is I am not getting much relief from my cravings or depression and am in a constant battle not to relapse.I know that 8 weeks is very little clean time for someone who used on and off for 20 years. I just dont see how the therapy is helping. Is there something more going on that I can't or am not supposed to see? Is there some type of unconscious process happening and if so what is it? I have told her a lot of my story and believe me it is not a story I'm proud of telling.I want some relief but she seems incapable of providing it. She is very caring and I really like her...She never makes me feel embarrased or ashamed. The final straw came at our last session when she asked me what i wanted and I told her I wanted adventure and she responded "like The Peter Pan Syndrome"...this book was out 20 years ago and has been largely discredited. I was really disappointed that was the only answer she could come up with. I hate to quit but I get the feeling she is more trained to treat people with less severe problems even though she is an advanced practice RN board certified...How can me just talking about my problems and her being nice work? Please help if you can shed light on this...thnks mjs

[ccgirl]

If you really don't have a connection and don't feel you ever will, there's nothing wrong with finding another. I've gone through quite a few; it took years to find my "match"

[mina86]

I'm looking for a therapist right now to help with my eating disorder. I'm worried that I'll end up going through a few before I find someone that I'm comfortable with that I feel can help me. Its a scary thing to think about and go through and it won't happen instantly, just like love. But you have to stay positive and think it through before you make your decision... and have a back up plan if you decide to stop seeing her. Make sure you have someone else lined up so that you don't fall back and relapse. That's very important!

[laurie6781]

MJS congrats on your sober and clean time.

First let me ask......are you attending any AA and/or NA meetings? Let me tell you a little bit about me.

For the first 6 months of recovery I attended AA. No I didn't work the program. I just went to meetings. I was so sick I didn't know I was depressed, lol. Why did I attend meetings? Well, because there I felt SAFE. I was so FULL OF FEAR that I would drink and/or use again, but with the people in the meetings I felt SAFE.

I also went to the meetings after the meetings (in the coffee shops, lol). I started to get to know some of the people and make some new sober friends.

Talking with and comparing notes with others who had been where I was or were still where I was helped so much. Got lots of 'common sense' suggestions to help me through. When the "fog" and "mush" started to clear from my brain at about 6 months was when I started being able to comprehend somewhat what the 12 step program was all about and make an attempt to work it.

I unfortunately, didn't get professional help until I was 9 years sober after I went TOTALLY INSANE, SOBER. Then I got a full fledged pysch Dr. who was very experienced in working with those in addiction.

Even with my pysch dr. I found that she could really only SUGGEST. I was the one that had to do the WORK. I was the one who had to make the changes. I was the one who physically had to change an action, so the right thinking could follow. You know, act into good thinking, not think into good actions, lol.

Only you know if you can give this therapist more of your time or not. Some of us have gone through many therapist, councilors, and pysch dr's until we have found one that we "CLICK" with.

It might also be interesting for you to know that the decision is still out whether most of us with addictions, were chronically depressed or bi-polar and used the alcohol and/or drugs to self medicate to function in a world we did not fit, or if..............the alcohol and/or drugs caused the depression and/or bi-polar.

In my case, I NOW KNOW I was depressed from child on, that chronic depression runs in the family. I was also 'manic depressive' (bi-polar) from child on but not to a severe degree. (Cyling was not chronic or constant but did and still does occur occasionally).

There is no magic cure, and i have to say also, it took almost 5 years of trying different anti D's to find the ones that worked the best for me, with the most minimal side affects.

So with the above being said, it still falls back into your lap as to what you feel you are capable of doing to Help Yourself.

Please know thought that we are here for you, and can certainly understand the abyss you are in right now. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care!

Love and hugs,

[mina86]

Laurie,

No matter what you are on here for, that was a great and inspirational post for anyone who needs/is seeking help for their issue.

Many thanks!