Intervention

[liveweyerd]

Dayna's (my daughter) fiancee is very depressed. He made a serious suicide attempt a few weeks ago.
I am concerned for him.
Also, he is unable to function and hold/seek a job....which I believe is the paralysis of depression.
I really want to see him get help, i.e. medications to pick him up and clear his head, but I know for a fact that part of depression is the self blame and unwillingness to get help.
It is tearing up my daughter's family and making a wreck of their lives, because he is so under functioning.
It does not help that he is getting a lot of critiicism and blame to be a man and support his family. Which he should. But I feel sure he is sick.
I have sympathy for this.
I have depression also.
No one chooses to feel that way and not be able to function, it is miserable and no amount of self will cures it...and he seems to be getting alot of grief piled on him about that.
Is it appropriate to intervene????
Any suggestions?

They are going down the tubes!!

live

[phoenix]

If there is any possibility that you can help,then I feel that it would be the right thing to do.Just recently here a man with a family and a lot to live for, blew his brains out.And everyone is talking about how he hated guns,and they are all baffled by the tragedy.And,as always,there are those who think it was a selfish and cowardly act.But I wonder if he suffered from undiagnosed depression.Surely no one would choose to be so miserable and so desperate that death seemed like the only solution.

And I have been there myself.Without help I would surely have died...or made some failed attempt and perhaps have damaged myself permanently.God only knows the joy I would have missed,for life today is so good...because the depression has been lifted.

It may be better to act now and know,regardless of the outcome, that you did all you could,rather than wondering when it's too late if you might have made a difference.

phoenix

[liveweyerd]

Phoenix,

Thank you for your reply!!!

My son shot himself 3 yrs ago.

With bf, I just don't know what or how to intervene? I can't MAKE him go to the DR or force him to take meds.

Yesterday I joked with my daughter about putting Paxil in his Mountain Dew.

I can't seem to get it through to anybody that he can't just "change his circumstances, get his sh!t together, change his thinking", that it has become a medical problem and will require medical treatment.

They are about to be homeless because of financial problems...and I am well aware that it will take 30 to 60 days for him to respond fully even if he starts a med today.

I don't have the $$$ to help them now.
I will in 3 months. Is it totally ourtageous to require that he get medical treatment in exchange for my $$ support???
I KNOW that is coercion and control.
But I am not sure it would be wrong!!