struggling

[timtron]

Im new hear.

Im about 5 years sober and struggling with depression and anxiety. I can't concentrate at work or in school. I think I work a strong program in AA but I've always had the feeling something else was wrong. My sponsor is against anti depressants and it doesn't help that I am scared to take them. I think I am doing something wrong. I work the steps and pray alot and am trying to help others but I want to blow my brains out sometimes. any helpful suggestions

[laurie6781]

My sponsor is against anti depressants and it doesn't help that I am scared to take them.

Timtron, read page 133 in the BB of AA.

Please remember alcohol was but a symptom. Many of us, sober many years, do take Anti D's. There is nothing wrong with that. Go get evaluated by a certified therapist, couselor, or pysch doctor that is familiar with alcoholism.

Please remember anti depressants do not make you "high". They work on part of the brain to correct a 'chemical imbalance.' At 9 years sober I went totally and completely INSANE. I got into counselling with a pysch dr. that understood alcoholism and had worked with other alkies. It still took another 4 years of literally trial and error to find the one anti D that worked for me.

There is no reason to fear anti D's. I can tell you that 'the abyss' is now gone. I no longer feel like I am sinker deeper everyday and its closing over my head. Yes, I still have all my 'feelings' good and bad, and today I can accept them and feel them and move on.

You are not doing anything wrong!! With many of us, just working and living the steps is not enough. Many of us had 'chronic depression' and/or 'bipolar problems' before we became alcoholic and used alcohol to self medicate. Others of us developed the chronic depression and/or bipolar as a result of our alcoholism.

Please talk with a therapist and see if he/she can help you.

Also, please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care.

Love and hugs,

[historyteach]

Hi, timtron,
And welcome to SR!

Laurie has given you some really good information. I hope you do the right thing. You don't have to suffer in silence, and risk your sobriety.
And those who give medical advice without being a doctor -- SHOULDN"T! :nono:
That type of information almost killed my son! Unless your sponsor is a doctor -- and YOUR doctor to boot -- what he's doing is wrong. No if's and's or but's. You might want to consider a new sponsor!

Shalom!

[timtron]

Thanks Laurie,

That makes me feel alot better. I went to the shrink about a month ago and she prescribed lamictal. I've had them but scared to take them.

[Bozo]

I have been there and I know EXACTLY how you feel. Man when I was two years sober and working a real good AA program, I came close to having a nervous breakdown. A friend in the program suggested talking to a medical doctor. The doctor prescribed Prozac which I took for about 8 years and now I have taken Zoloft for about 10 years.

I have not had a drink in almost 19 years but I am not totally clean because I slipped and have been taking Tramadol for about a year now.

I would suggest talking to a medical doctor, and a sponsor can help with working the program, but they are human and dont always have all the answers.

Good luck and let us know what you decide. Mike

[margo]

Hi Timtron - it really ticks me off when I hear about sponsors telling sponsees not to take medication as recommended by a doctor, ESPECIALLY antidepressants. Depression often needs to be treated medically and it's one disorder that can be easy to treat once the right medication has been found. Most antidepressants have side effects, which tend to go away after a few days. I'd suggest you go back to your doctor and talk about your fears. You can be started on the lowest dose possible and gradually build up to a therapeutic dose. The Program and prayer are wonderful, but they should be used in addition to prescribed medication, not in place of it. Keep us posted on how your doing - as one who still struggles with depression and anxiety I know how debilitating it can be. It's not worth dying for though - not when there is help available.

[Don W]

I just typed and lost and long response to your post. Here is a short version. I have alcoholism and PTSD. I go to AA and take medication. I have tried for years to just not drink and get better. Didn't work! I have an addiction and a mental illness(I like to call it a mental injury). My PTSD is from Vietnam and childhood physical and sexual abuse. This time I'm treating them with different treatments at the same time. Your sponsor means well but, unless they're a doctor, you shouldn't ignore at possible treatment. Medications given by a doctor with all the facts can be trusted. Like History, I know people that went years without getting better and some didn't make it stopping or not taking medication. Wiht 5 years under your belt I think you can trust your's and your doctors judgement. That being said, before starting it you might want to tell your doctor. Sometimes there are side affects and he should know the length of time. Don W

[wildhorse]

Timtron,

I too have anxiety and depression, and sorry to say I used alcohol to try and relieve it. Don't hesitate to use medication for this!! I've tried different brands of medicine, right now I'm on Effexor and it's seem to really help calm my nerves.
I'm working through the 12 steps and on step 2 right now!! I've a great sponsor and really taking the time to cover all the bases.

I found this site last week and it has been great help durning the day until I can get to another meeting.