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-   -   SSDI hearing with ALJ! (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/mental-health/115394-ssdi-hearing-alj.html)

daydream 02-10-2007 11:12 PM

SSDI hearing with ALJ!
 
Hi gang, I hardly ever post in this forum--actually I don't recall if I ever have, but I do read. I am really feeling a lot of fear and anxiety right now. I applied for disability 22 months ago, based on severe depression and several other diagnoses that I don't want to go into on a public board. I got denied at the initial application and reconsideration level. Filed my appeal September of '05. Having waited 17 months to go before an administrative law judge, I finally got a letter today stating my hearing will be the 26th of THIS month! So now I'm happy to finally be near a decision and possibly some financial relief, but I'm also scared to death! All my life I've had bad luck. I've never won anything and I seem to always get the short end of the stick. When I have been out to dinner with others, I'm the one who's order gets lost. When I do a chain mail game where ya send an item by mail, I'm the one who doesn't get even 1 thing back. And of course I'm the clutz who comes out of a public restroom with toilet paper trailing behind me. I just know this judge is going to misread me and not like me or not believe I'm truly disabled. I totally know that I am. No question. It's very hard to admit it and I've only told a couple of friends that I applied. I wish i could work like everyone else, but I have lost my last 4 jobs as a result of my mental health problems and this last job was the straw that completely broke me. I know I can't go back. I would return to severely destructive behaviors that nearly killed me before my therapist put me on family medical leave 2 years ago. So I am sure that I can't work, but I am pretty sure the judge will think I'm just lazy or something.

Another thing is that I'm terrified of going into a court room! I have severe anxiety that keeps me in the house most of the time. I have tremendous fear of all authority figures (avoiding supervisors was one reason for dismissals). I honestly don't know how I will get myself to walk into that room without wetting my pants. Help! It's only 15 days away!

Bozo 02-11-2007 04:39 AM

I Dont Know What To Tell You
 
But thanks for posting in the Mental Health forums. One of my favorite sayings, which I must admit is my own original thought, is as follows.

99% of our worries never come to pass. But damn it all, it's that 1% percent that worries me!!

You'll be OK. Hang in there.........Keep posting. Mike

historyteach 02-11-2007 10:34 AM

daydream;
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Please don't futurize; it doesn't help and it only increases our anxiety.
Right now, just focus on today. Meditate, relax, exercise or do whatever you do to regain your serenity.

Is there someone you can get to go with you on the date of the hearing? Someone that would help you cope? It's difficult dealing with these things. But, we do so because we must. ANd you will do so.

Do you see a counselor? That person may be able to help you prepare. Be sure to have any papers you may need or whatever. Use your support system now. That's why they are available for you!

And so are we. Please be sure to let us know how you're doing... :hug:

Shalom!

laurie6781 02-11-2007 03:44 PM


Having waited 17 months to go before an administrative law judge, I finally got a letter today stating my hearing will be the 26th of THIS month! So now I'm happy to finally be near a decision and possibly some financial relief, but I'm also scared to death!
Daydream: I have been where you are now. First, I will keep you and your hearing in my prayers. Second, this is not the end of the road if your are once again denied. You then get an attorney that does SSI and SSDI work and file suit in Federal Court. By law they can only charge 10% of your backpay and only up to 5,000 whichever is smaller. In 99% of the cases that go to federal court, the claimant wins. The attorney not only sues Social Security, but also puts in the suit, that if SS says you can work then they sue for SS to Give you a job. lol

It took me 2 years and 7 months. Yep 31 months total to finally get approved. You are not alone. Social Security does this to everyone!!!!!

I truly believe they do it so we will either give up or we die. In my case I was too sick and too damn stubborn. lol Hang in there we are praying for you.

As to your Anxiety attacks, talk to your counselor about this immediately. Your counselor will probably have some suggestions or may even be able to go with you knowing your anxiety problems.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care very much.

Love and hugs,

daydream 02-13-2007 10:21 PM

Well, a letter came in the mail today telling me the ALJ had to reschedule the hearing because the psychological expert can't be there. The new date is in 6 weeks. I didn't need to hear "psychological expert", I'm already terrified enough.


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