If You Are Feeling Suicidal - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

***Forums Team*** · 11-29-2004, 12:39 PM

Given the recent upsurge in people either admitting to a suicide attempt or feeling very suicidal can I just remind people that, although we care and will try to help if we can, the best option is to contact a doctor, psychiatrist, crisis support line or go to your local hospital for assistance.

I know it is difficult when you are this low but please do use the services available for you when you are at crisis point. We have many members struggling with depression and posts that discuss suicide can be a trigger for others. We will remove posts at our discretion for this reason. Please do not take this as rejection. It is our way of protecting everyone here. Please feel free to send a private message to a moderator for additional assistance.

Read this first ...If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this.

Keep Reading A reason... to live or to die.

A little more reading Give yourself today

Locate Services

Crisis Intervention

How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.

Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.

The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.

Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.

Other online sources of help:

The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.
Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how.
Depression support group online:
Walkers in Darkness - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.
Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.
Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.
If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor.

Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you.

Suicide: The Forever Decision by Paul G. Quinnett, PhD (Continuum, 1989, ISBN 0-8264-0391-3). Frank and helpful conversation with a therapist who cares. Order the book
Choosing to Live: how to defeat suicide through cognitive therapy by Thomas E. Ellis PsyD and Cory F. Newman PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 1996, ISBN 1-57224-056-3). Another conversational book with practical help for suicidal persons. Order the book
How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention by Susan Rose Blauner (William Morrow, 2002, ISBN 0066211212). A very practical survival guide by an actual survivor. Order the book

historyteach · 12-04-2007, 08:39 AM

<center>
If you are thinking about

<blockquote> 
If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

 I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

 Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you're at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let's hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

 Start by considering this statement: 

Suicide is not chosen; it happens 
when pain exceeds 
resources for coping with pain. 

 That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could. 

 Don't accept it if someone tells you, that's not enough to be suicidal about.・There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain. 
 
<IMG SRC="http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/paindown.gif" WIDTH=251 HEIGHT=242>
 
 When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources. 

 You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: 
(1) find a way to reduce your pain, or 
(2) find a way to increase your coping resources.

 Both are possible. 

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.・Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:

<UL STYLE="line-height:1.4;">
<LI>Send an anonymous e-mail to <A HREF="http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/samaritans.htm">The Samaritans</A> 
<LI>Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S. 
<LI>Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine,1-800-999-9999 
<LI>Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line 
<LI>Call a psychotherapist 
<LI>Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen
</UL> 
 But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.

 Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

 Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really glad.

 Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let's give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain. 

<IMG SRC="http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/paincope.gif" WIDTH=251 HEIGHT=243> 

 Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.

Now: I'd like you to call someone.</blockquote>

pedagogue · 12-05-2007, 10:36 PM

National Suicide Hotlines USA

Toll-Free / 24 hours a day / 7 days a week

1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-273-TALK
1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-8255

1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
Deaf Hotline

-p

historyteach · 12-06-2007, 04:47 AM

Thanks, Pedagogue!!!

Shalom!

***Morning Glory*** · 12-06-2007, 10:25 AM

Given the recent upsurge in people either admitting to a suicide attempt or feeling very suicidal can I just remind people that, although we care and will try to help if we can, the best option is to contact a doctor, psychiatrist, crisis support line or go to your local hospital for assistance.

I know it is difficult when you are this low but please do use the services available for you when you are at crisis point. We have many members struggling with depression and posts that discuss suicide can be a trigger for others. We will remove posts at our discretion for this reason. Please do not take this as rejection. It is our way of protecting everyone here. Please feel free to send a private message to a moderator for additional assistance.

Read this first ...If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this.

Keep Reading A reason... to live or to die.

A little more reading Give yourself today

Locate Services

Crisis Intervention

How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.

Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.

The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.

Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.

Other online sources of help:

<UL>

<LI><A HREF="http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/samaritans.htm" target="blank">The Samaritans</A> - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.

<LI><A HREF="http://www.metanoia.org/imhs/"target="blank">Talk to a therapist online</A> - Read this page to find out how.

<LI>Depression support group online:
<A HREF="http://www.walkers.org/"target="blank">Walkers in Darkness</A> - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.

<LI><A HREF="http://psychcentral.com"target="blank">Psych Central</A> has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.

<LI>Still feel bad? These <A HREF="http://www.metanoia.org/jokes.htm"target="blank">jokes</A> might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.

<LI>If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to <A HREF="http://www.metanoia.org/choose"target="blank">Choose a Competent Counselor</A>.

</UL>

Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you.

<UL>

<LI>Suicide: The Forever Decision by Paul G. Quinnett, PhD (Continuum, 1989, ISBN 0-8264-0391-3). Frank and helpful conversation with a therapist who cares. <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0824513525/metanoiaA/">Order the book</A>

<LI>Choosing to Live: how to defeat suicide through cognitive therapy by Thomas E. Ellis PsyD and Cory F. Newman PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 1996, ISBN 1-57224-056-3). Another conversational book with practical help for suicidal persons. <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1572240563/metanoiaA/">Order the book</A>

<LI>How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention by Susan Rose Blauner (William Morrow, 2002, ISBN 0066211212). A very practical survival guide by an actual survivor. <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0066211212/metanoiaA/">Order the book</A>

</UL>

historyteach · 12-06-2007, 01:20 PM

Thank you, MG!!!

This is such an important subject, and the information is so important to have available. I appreciate all the help there is!

Shalom!

historyteach · 01-15-2008, 04:34 PM

The Burns Suicide Checklist:
The Burns Depression Checklist
A checklist to monitor your symptoms.

It contains questions about your thoughts and feelings; actions and personal relations; physical symptoms and suicidal urges. Finally, it has a guide based on your answers, for determining the severity of your depression.

Take the test; print it out and bring it to your doctor or therapist, if necessary.

Shalom!

**nandm** · 01-16-2008, 02:28 AM

Quote:

He (Kurt Cobain, lead singer of Nirvana) had made it big but didn't feel good about himself, and that's what suicide is all about. He had everything but self-worth." --Margaret O'Neil, executive director of the Boston office of The Samaritans.

Suicidal Thoughts

Do you ever think about specific ways of killing yourself or hope that you don't wake up in the morning? In the deep stages of depression or grief, death may seem to be the only way out of an intolerable situation, spiritual estrangement, or an isolated and loveless existence.

There's been much speculation about the reasons for contemplating suicide. It can be used as a cry for help, be perceived as a romantic gesture of self-renunciation, can come across as a spiteful act of supreme vengence, or simply be a response to self-hatred and low self-worth. But the reality about suicide is that it's never a tidy solution. Suicide tosses life aside like so much trash. It's not an act of courage, but one of supreme selfishness. A suicide says, "The gift of life is valueless because I could not deal with my problems or ask for help in handling them."

Suicide doesn't always result in swift, painless, and sweet oblivion. Many times the attempt gets botched, resulting in pain, difigurement, guilt, and humiliation. Or death comes days, weeks, or even years, later due to infections, permanent organ damage, or painful corrective surgery.

Instead of deciding that the only way to relive you misery is through suicide, consider at this moment that there might be another way. Don't abandon life---change it! Call a hotline, a therapist, or a trusted friend. Know that there are better ways to relieve your pain.

Give Life A Chance: I Give Me A Chance.

From Facing Life's Challenges
By Amy E. Dean
January 16

Leslie1210 · 04-04-2009, 09:16 AM

I thought this might be a helpful book. It's for survivors of suicide and covers all family members which I think is unusual.
'Night Falls Fast" by Kay Redfield Jamison.
Leslie

ClayTheScribe · 06-29-2009, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nandm

From Facing Life's Challenges
By Amy E. Dean
January 16

While I appreciate the quoted post, I think we need to get away from making people feel bad about feeling suicidal, ie that it's a selfish act. This simply is not going to speak to people suffering from a mental illness and is just going to pile more shame on the act, and while that may work for people not suffering from an illness, it may drive the depressed person further into despair. We need to be bringing out and nurturing people's better angels and better qualities and helping them to see what benefit they can bring to people and the world. Calling them selfish is likely going to make things worse, not better, even though we know it is. I know when I've been suicidal, in my twisted mind if someone told me I was being selfish by trying to kill myself I'd warp it as "I'm being selfish, another reason I don't deserve to live." So we got to be careful with that sort of language. And if you've ever been that close to absolute despair, you can empathize with why someone would want to permanently extinguish such unbearable pain. The goal is to get people talking long enough and connecting with another person long enough that the urges diminish enough to be manageable so a therapist and psychiatrist can step in and do the professional work that needs to be done.

That book Night Falls Fast is great. I actually bought it on my way to the psych hospital when I knew I was in a moment of deep despair. It's also great to browse the posts here and know you're not alone, and, of course, to post if you can.

Clay

ClayTheScribe · 09-26-2009, 05:27 PM

I wanted to elaborate on my last post. While I don't think we should be calling people who are suicidal selfish or that they should feel like bad people for feeling hopeless, it is important that those people think of others before doing anything drastic. Think of how people who love you will feel with you gone, forever. Not only will they be wraught with grief, but with guilt, anger--especially anger--shame and regret that they couldn't help you. You don't want to do that to those you love, even if it's just one person important in your life.

Sometimes when I feel suicidal I think of one of my friends or family members and imagine how deeply they'd be suffering because I didn't reach out. You need to reach out to them and tell them of your desperation so they can help you because there is a way out of despair, no matter the circumstance. Don't worry about burdening them with your troubles either, because if they care about you, they'll want to help you. Nurture your self-preservation instinct and let someone help you.

If you have no friends or no family who cares about you, then call those suicide hotlines or 911 if it's an emergency because they can help too.

You don't want to suffer anymore and you don't have to.

11-29-2004, 12:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
*Forums Team* The Mod Squad Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 13	If You Are Feeling Suicidal Given the recent upsurge in people either admitting to a suicide attempt or feeling very suicidal can I just remind people that, although we care and will try to help if we can, the best option is to contact a doctor, psychiatrist, crisis support line or go to your local hospital for assistance. I know it is difficult when you are this low but please do use the services available for you when you are at crisis point. We have many members struggling with depression and posts that discuss suicide can be a trigger for others. We will remove posts at our discretion for this reason. Please do not take this as rejection. It is our way of protecting everyone here. Please feel free to send a private message to a moderator for additional assistance. Read this first ...If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. Keep Reading A reason... to live or to die. A little more reading Give yourself today Locate Services Crisis Intervention How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this. Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss. The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings. Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better. Other online sources of help: The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help. Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how. Depression support group online: Walkers in Darkness - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support. Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs. Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two. If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor. Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you. Suicide: The Forever Decision by Paul G. Quinnett, PhD (Continuum, 1989, ISBN 0-8264-0391-3). Frank and helpful conversation with a therapist who cares. Order the book Choosing to Live: how to defeat suicide through cognitive therapy by Thomas E. Ellis PsyD and Cory F. Newman PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 1996, ISBN 1-57224-056-3). Another conversational book with practical help for suicidal persons. Order the book How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention by Susan Rose Blauner (William Morrow, 2002, ISBN 0066211212). A very practical survival guide by an actual survivor. Order the book

12-04-2007, 08:39 AM	#2 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 8,879	<center> If you are thinking about <br> <blockquote><br> <P>If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It <br>will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your <br>bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - <br>only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.</P> <P>I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know <br>that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can assume <br>that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your <br>life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this <br>moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But <br>since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.</P> <br><P>I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so <br>I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you <br>might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this <br>short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five <br>simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't argue with <br>you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are <br>thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.</P> <br><P>Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you to <br>stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you're at <br>least a <I>tiny</I> bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or <br>not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the <br>deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and <br>normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still <br>a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the <br>same time some part of you still wants to live. So let's hang on to that, <br>and keep going for a few more minutes.</P> <br><P>Start by considering this statement:</P><br> <P>Suicide is not chosen; it happens<BR> when pain exceeds <BR> resources for coping with pain.</P><br> <br><P>That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or <br>flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really <br><I>want</I> to die - it only means that you have more pain than you <br>can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you <br>will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much <br>you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of <br>course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.</P><br> <br><P>Don't accept it if someone tells you, that's not enough to be suicidal <br>about.・There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether <br>or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might <br>be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at <br>which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping <br>resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to <br>withstand pain.</P><br> <br> <IMG SRC="http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/paindown.gif" WIDTH=251 HEIGHT=242> <br> <br><P>When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the <br>result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; <br>it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.</P><br> <br><P>You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things:<BR> (1) <FONT COLOR="#FF0000">find a way to reduce your pain, or </FONT><BR> (2) <FONT COLOR="#FF0000">find a way to increase your coping resources.</FONT> <BR>Both are possible.</P><BR> <P>Now I want to tell you five things to think about.</P> <P>You need to hear that people <I>do</I> get through this -- even <BR>people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a <BR>very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this <BR>information gives you some sense of hope.</P> <P>Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, I will wait 24 hours <BR>before I do anything.・Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions <BR>are two different things - just because you <I>feel</I> like killing <BR>yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually <I>do</I> it right this <BR>minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal <BR>action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 <BR>minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes <BR>by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you <BR>still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very <BR>encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.</P> <P>People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from <BR>pain. Remember that relief is a <I>feeling</I>. And you have to be <I>alive</I> to feel it. <BR>You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.</P> <P>Some people <I>will</I> react badly to your suicidal feelings, either <BR>because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your <BR>pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing <BR>thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are <BR>about <I>their</I> fears, not about you.</P> <P>But there <I>are</I> people out there who can be with you in this <BR>horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a <BR>hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply <BR>care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, <BR>and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:</P> <BR><P><UL STYLE="line-height:1.4;"> <LI>Send an anonymous e-mail to <A HREF="http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/samaritans.htm">The Samaritans</A><BR> <LI>Call <FONT COLOR="#FF0000">1-800-SUICIDE</FONT> in the U.S.<BR> <LI>Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine,<FONT COLOR="#FF0000">1-800-999-9999</FONT><BR> <LI>Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line<BR> <LI>Call a psychotherapist<BR> <LI>Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen </UL></P><BR> <BR><P>But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with <BR>this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an <BR>awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping <BR>resource you need to regain your balance.</P> <BR><P>Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they <BR>subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really <BR>good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your <BR>community and on the Internet.</P> <BR><P>Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really glad.</P> <BR><P>Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you <BR>should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give <BR>yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the <BR>page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping <BR>resources than you have pain. So let's give you another coping <BR>resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.</P><BR> <IMG SRC="http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/paincope.gif" WIDTH=251 HEIGHT=243><BR> <BR><P>Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best <BR>coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If <BR>you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling <BR>and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping <BR>resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the <BR>last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from <BR>you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.</P> <P>Now: I'd like you to call someone.</P></blockquote><BR><BR> __________________ IMAGINE

12-05-2007, 10:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
pedagogue Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Anytown, USA Posts: 1,036	National Suicide Hotlines USA Toll-Free / 24 hours a day / 7 days a week 1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-273-TALK 1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-8255 1-800-799-4TTY (4889) Deaf Hotline -p __________________ "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." - Frank A. Clark

12-06-2007, 04:47 AM	#4 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 8,879	Thanks, Pedagogue!!! Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

12-06-2007, 10:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
*Morning Glory* Administrator Midi Golf Champion! Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: CA Posts: 1,598	Given the recent upsurge in people either admitting to a suicide attempt or feeling very suicidal can I just remind people that, although we care and will try to help if we can, the best option is to contact a doctor, psychiatrist, crisis support line or go to your local hospital for assistance. I know it is difficult when you are this low but please do use the services available for you when you are at crisis point. We have many members struggling with depression and posts that discuss suicide can be a trigger for others. We will remove posts at our discretion for this reason. Please do not take this as rejection. It is our way of protecting everyone here. Please feel free to send a private message to a moderator for additional assistance. Read this first ...If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. Keep Reading A reason... to live or to die. A little more reading Give yourself today Locate Services Crisis Intervention How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this. Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss. The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings. Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better. Other online sources of help: <UL> <LI><P><A HREF="http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/samaritans.htm" target="blank">The Samaritans</A> - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.</P> <LI><P><A HREF="http://www.metanoia.org/imhs/"target="blank">Talk to a therapist online</A> - Read this page to find out how.</P> <LI><P>Depression support group online: <A HREF="http://www.walkers.org/"target="blank">Walkers in Darkness</A> - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it <I>is</I> possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.</P> <LI><P><A HREF="http://psychcentral.com"target="blank">Psych Central</A> has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.</P> <LI><P>Still feel bad? These <A HREF="http://www.metanoia.org/jokes.htm"target="blank">jokes</A> might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.</P> <LI><P>If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to <A HREF="http://www.metanoia.org/choose"target="blank">Choose a Competent Counselor</A>.</P> </UL> <P>Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you.</P> <UL> <LI><P><B><FONT COLOR="#FF0000">Suicide: The Forever Decision</FONT></B> by Paul G. Quinnett, PhD (Continuum, 1989, ISBN 0-8264-0391-3). Frank and helpful conversation with a therapist who cares. <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0824513525/metanoiaA/"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000">Order the book</FONT></A></P> <LI><P><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><B>Choosing to Live:</B> how to defeat suicide through cognitive therapy</FONT> by Thomas E. Ellis PsyD and Cory F. Newman PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 1996, ISBN 1-57224-056-3). Another conversational book with practical help for suicidal persons. <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1572240563/metanoiaA/"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000">Order the book</FONT></A></P> <LI><P><FONT COLOR="#FF0000"><B>How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me:</B> One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention</FONT> by Susan Rose Blauner (William Morrow, 2002, ISBN 0066211212). A very practical survival guide by an actual survivor. <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0066211212/metanoiaA/"><FONT COLOR="#CC0000">Order the book</FONT></A></P> </UL> __________________ Pro 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Last edited by Morning Glory; 12-21-2007 at 12:42 AM. Reason: Repaired Links

12-06-2007, 01:20 PM	#6 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 8,879	Thank you, MG!!! This is such an important subject, and the information is so important to have available. I appreciate all the help there is! Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

01-15-2008, 04:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 8,879	The Burns Suicide Checklist: The Burns Depression Checklist A checklist to monitor your symptoms. It contains questions about your thoughts and feelings; actions and personal relations; physical symptoms and suicidal urges. Finally, it has a guide based on your answers, for determining the severity of your depression. Take the test; print it out and bring it to your doctor or therapist, if necessary. Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

04-04-2009, 09:16 AM	#9 (permalink)
Leslie1210 Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Elkhorn Wisconsin Posts: 77	I thought this might be a helpful book. It's for survivors of suicide and covers all family members which I think is unusual. 'Night Falls Fast" by Kay Redfield Jamison. Leslie __________________ Ring the bell that still can ring, forget the perfect offering. There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. L. Cohen

09-26-2009, 05:27 PM	#11 (permalink)
ClayTheScribe July 25, 2009 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Thornton, CO Posts: 371	I wanted to elaborate on my last post. While I don't think we should be calling people who are suicidal selfish or that they should feel like bad people for feeling hopeless, it is important that those people think of others before doing anything drastic. Think of how people who love you will feel with you gone, forever. Not only will they be wraught with grief, but with guilt, anger--especially anger--shame and regret that they couldn't help you. You don't want to do that to those you love, even if it's just one person important in your life. Sometimes when I feel suicidal I think of one of my friends or family members and imagine how deeply they'd be suffering because I didn't reach out. You need to reach out to them and tell them of your desperation so they can help you because there is a way out of despair, no matter the circumstance. Don't worry about burdening them with your troubles either, because if they care about you, they'll want to help you. Nurture your self-preservation instinct and let someone help you. If you have no friends or no family who cares about you, then call those suicide hotlines or 911 if it's an emergency because they can help too. You don't want to suffer anymore and you don't have to. __________________ If you don't want to slip, stay away from slippery places. -Dual Recovery Anonymous

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