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Given the recent upsurge in people either admitting to a suicide attempt or feeling very suicidal can I just remind people that, although we care and will try to help if we can, the best option is to contact a doctor, psychiatrist, crisis support line or go to your local hospital for assistance.
I know it is difficult when you are this low but please do use the services available for you when you are at crisis point. We have many members struggling with depression and posts that discuss suicide can be a trigger for others. We will remove posts at our discretion for this reason. Please do not take this as rejection. It is our way of protecting everyone here. Please feel free to send a private message to a moderator for additional assistance.
Read this first...If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this.
How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.
Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Recovery from grief and loss...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.
The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.
Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.
Other online sources of help:
The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.
Depression support group online: Walkers in Darkness - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.
Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.
Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.
If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor.
Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you.
Suicide: The Forever Decision by Paul G. Quinnett, PhD (Continuum, 1989, ISBN 0-8264-0391-3). Frank and helpful conversation with a therapist who cares. Order the book
Choosing to Live: how to defeat suicide through cognitive therapy by Thomas E. Ellis PsyD and Cory F. Newman PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 1996, ISBN 1-57224-056-3). Another conversational book with practical help for suicidal persons. Order the book
How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention by Susan Rose Blauner (William Morrow, 2002, ISBN 0066211212). A very practical survival guide by an actual survivor. Order the book
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It contains questions about your thoughts and feelings; actions and personal relations; physical symptoms and suicidal urges. Finally, it has a guide based on your answers, for determining the severity of your depression.
Take the test; print it out and bring it to your doctor or therapist, if necessary.
Shalom!
__________________
IMAGINE
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He (Kurt Cobain, lead singer of Nirvana) had made it big but didn't feel good about himself, and that's what suicide is all about. He had everything but self-worth." --Margaret O'Neil, executive director of the Boston office of The Samaritans.
Suicidal Thoughts
Do you ever think about specific ways of killing yourself or hope that you don't wake up in the morning? In the deep stages of depression or grief, death may seem to be the only way out of an intolerable situation, spiritual estrangement, or an isolated and loveless existence.
There's been much speculation about the reasons for contemplating suicide. It can be used as a cry for help, be perceived as a romantic gesture of self-renunciation, can come across as a spiteful act of supreme vengence, or simply be a response to self-hatred and low self-worth. But the reality about suicide is that it's never a tidy solution. Suicide tosses life aside like so much trash. It's not an act of courage, but one of supreme selfishness. A suicide says, "The gift of life is valueless because I could not deal with my problems or ask for help in handling them."
Suicide doesn't always result in swift, painless, and sweet oblivion. Many times the attempt gets botched, resulting in pain, difigurement, guilt, and humiliation. Or death comes days, weeks, or even years, later due to infections, permanent organ damage, or painful corrective surgery.
Instead of deciding that the only way to relive you misery is through suicide, consider at this moment that there might be another way. Don't abandon life---change it! Call a hotline, a therapist, or a trusted friend. Know that there are better ways to relieve your pain.
Give Life A Chance: I Give Me A Chance.
From Facing Life's Challenges
By Amy E. Dean
January 16
__________________
NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
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I thought this might be a helpful book. It's for survivors of suicide and covers all family members which I think is unusual.
'Night Falls Fast" by Kay Redfield Jamison.
Leslie
__________________ Ring the bell that still can ring, forget the perfect offering. There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. L. Cohen
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From Facing Life's Challenges
By Amy E. Dean
January 16
While I appreciate the quoted post, I think we need to get away from making people feel bad about feeling suicidal, ie that it's a selfish act. This simply is not going to speak to people suffering from a mental illness and is just going to pile more shame on the act, and while that may work for people not suffering from an illness, it may drive the depressed person further into despair. We need to be bringing out and nurturing people's better angels and better qualities and helping them to see what benefit they can bring to people and the world. Calling them selfish is likely going to make things worse, not better, even though we know it is. I know when I've been suicidal, in my twisted mind if someone told me I was being selfish by trying to kill myself I'd warp it as "I'm being selfish, another reason I don't deserve to live." So we got to be careful with that sort of language. And if you've ever been that close to absolute despair, you can empathize with why someone would want to permanently extinguish such unbearable pain. The goal is to get people talking long enough and connecting with another person long enough that the urges diminish enough to be manageable so a therapist and psychiatrist can step in and do the professional work that needs to be done.
That book Night Falls Fast is great. I actually bought it on my way to the psych hospital when I knew I was in a moment of deep despair. It's also great to browse the posts here and know you're not alone, and, of course, to post if you can.
Clay
__________________ “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
-Ray Bradbury
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I wanted to elaborate on my last post. While I don't think we should be calling people who are suicidal selfish or that they should feel like bad people for feeling hopeless, it is important that those people think of others before doing anything drastic. Think of how people who love you will feel with you gone, forever. Not only will they be wraught with grief, but with guilt, anger--especially anger--shame and regret that they couldn't help you. You don't want to do that to those you love, even if it's just one person important in your life.
Sometimes when I feel suicidal I think of one of my friends or family members and imagine how deeply they'd be suffering because I didn't reach out. You need to reach out to them and tell them of your desperation so they can help you because there is a way out of despair, no matter the circumstance. Don't worry about burdening them with your troubles either, because if they care about you, they'll want to help you. Nurture your self-preservation instinct and let someone help you.
If you have no friends or no family who cares about you, then call those suicide hotlines or 911 if it's an emergency because they can help too.
You don't want to suffer anymore and you don't have to.
__________________ “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
-Ray Bradbury
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This post is relatable in ways that I am going to explain. I don't superficially plan to slash my wrists, overdose on pills or any of that crap right now. However, if any of my family is hospitolized or dies, its likely that I'll become so damn depressed myself that I'll drink a certain amount of liquids (aftershave, mouthwash, Windex, liquid soap, or otherwise) that will intentionally kill me, since I believe that nothing can help me at that particular point.
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I remember the first time I attempted suicide, my mother was at work and i got taken to the hospital she worked at, she came in to my bed and was pissed off. her exact words were " what kind of attention are you looking for now?! " and left. a week later when I was sent home from hospital, I did it all over again. I was so ashamed and upset that she would think all I wanted was attention... and really I did and do. Always have, and that got her to notice me... i was a friggin kid and the only attention i knew was negative. So I used it, and I used it to the fullest extent. That year I attempted a few times i was 14-15 those times and I did it to **** her off a few of the times. The last time I attempted i was maybe 17?..anyways they kept me in hospital long term, and then she decided to care and be worried. I realize now, it was because she didn't know how to react or how to help me. She was protecting herself from feeling like she had failed. I'm glad this topic is here. I am very much a supporter of suicide awareness and think its extremely important for friends, family and others to know how cope or react to their loved ones who are in a dark place.
thanks
just thought i'd share a little bit
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this can only be felt if you are really upset and are alone......i would like to recommend one important thong that is try to feel happy...always stay happy and make your life the best one....
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If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.
I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.
I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.
Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you're at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let's hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.
Start by considering this statement:
Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.
That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.
Don't accept it if someone tells you, "That's not enough to be suicidal about." There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.
When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.
You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.
Now I want to tell you five things to think about.
1
You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
2
Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.
3
People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.
4
Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.
But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:
* Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans
* Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TTY:1-800-799-4TTY)
* (In Australia, call Lifeline Australia at telephone: 13 11 14
* Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999
* Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
* Call a psychotherapist
* Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen
But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.
5
Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.
Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really glad.
Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let's give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.
Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.
Now: I'd like you to call someone.
And while you're at it, you can still stay with me for a bit. Check out these sources of online help.
Additional things to read at this site:
*
How serious is our condition? ..."He only took 15 pills, he wasn't really serious..." if others are making you feel like you're just trying to get attention... read this.
*
Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
*
Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.
*
The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.
*
Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.
*
A 4 minute depression quiz ...maybe you have depression and want to find out right now, scientifically, at no cost.
*
Symptoms of depression ...the specific symptoms of a full blown episode of clinical depression
Do you know someone who is suicidal... or would you like to be able to help, if the situation arises? Learn what to do, so that you can make the situation better, not worse.
*
Handling a call from a suicidal person ...a very helpful ten-point list that you can print out and keep near your phone or computer.
*
What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal? ...a helpful guide, includes Suicide Warning Signs.
Other online sources of help:
*
The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.
*
Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how.
*
Depression support group online: Psych Central Depression Support Group - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter, it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.
*
Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide - and other mental health needs.
*
Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.
*
If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor.
Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you.
*
Suicide: The Forever Decision by Paul G. Quinnett, PhD (Continuum, 1989, $8.95, ISBN 0-8264-0391-3). Frank and helpful conversation with a therapist who cares. Order the book
*
Choosing to Live: how to defeat suicide through cognitive therapy by Thomas E. Ellis PsyD and Cory F. Newman PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 1996, $12.95, ISBN 1-57224-056-3). Another conversational book with practical help for suicidal persons. Order the book
*
How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention by Susan Rose Blauner (William Morrow, 2002, $17.47, ISBN 0066211212). A very practical survival guide by an actual survivor. Order the book
Suicide: The Forever Decision, Paul G. Quinnett, PhD Choosing to Live, Thomas E. Ellis PsyD How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me
* I make no profit whatsoever on the books. Every penny received is given to The Samaritans to support their lifesaving work. The volunteers give generously of themselves, but it costs them money to continue operating and saving lives - money for facilities, phones and computers. Money is a reality. They need it; we give it. Sending them this small donation is our way of thanking them and helping them continue to help others. If you would like to know where the money goes, visit the Samaritans website. If you prefer not to make a donation to the Samaritans, take the book information above to your local bookstore and order the books there instead.
* If you would like to make a donation directly to the Samaritans, click here.
*
Out of the Nightmare, David L. Conroy, PhDOut of the Nightmare: Recovery From Depression And Suicidal Pain, by David L. Conroy, PhD (Authors Choice Press, 2006, ISBN 0595414974). Unfortunately out of print; sometimes used copies become available. As if suicidal persons weren't feeling bad enough already, our thoughtless attitudes can cause them to feel guilt and shame, and keep them from getting help in time. Dr. Conroy blasts apart the myths of suicide, and looks at suicidal feelings from the inside, in a down to earth, non-judgmental way. This is a book that will save lives by washing away the stigma of suicide and opening the door to a real way out of the nightmare. More info and reviews
Want to share your suicide story?
Please visit the Suicide Project and leave your story
__________________
NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
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Online Suicide Prevention Resources is a small wiki focussed on crisis resources available online without a telephone. There are listings for social media, secure IM chat, and public forums.
It was inspired by the International Suicide Prevention Wiki, created by Post Secret, which features a table of links and directories for telephone crisis hotlines and resources all over the world. The list I created today is solely for non-phone contacts. Included are details of the hours for each service.
Why make such a list? In today’s cell phone family plan homes, calls show up on bills read by parents, and youth might want privacy for a long list of reasons including the parents being the problem. By using the Internet, people can connect one on one to trained counselors, then clear browser histories on shared computers. Youth in BC, one of the best IM chat sites and very aware of the needs of its viewers, offers a “hide page” button on its home page that goes immediately to Google’s search home page. For people who are more comfortable with public details (but still don’t identify in posts) there are discussion forums. There’s also a group on Second Life. Plus, old-fashioned email.
If you write a blog or update twitter and Facebook accounts, there are updated guidelines for you as the media on how to write about suicide to prevent contagion.
Foremost, there are coping skills and reasons for living for those considering suicide. All free and online.
Two hours after I posted the link to Twitter, I had a response from a person who had taken an overdose but contacted someone after seeing the list. Already more than worth my effort. It’s helped save one life, that I know of. If you post the link too who else might it help?
__________________
NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
I found this resource through a DVD of the movie "The Beaver" which deals with the subject of depression and bipolar disorder. I thought I would post it here in hopes that someone who is in need of immediate help and is too afraid to pick up the phone might be able to find some help through it. I know for me personally, I am not able to pick up the phone when I am in the depths of a depression and suicidal. But I can see myself maybe being able to utilize this service since it is easier for me to put into writing what my thoughts are than to verbalize them especially when caught in that cycle of depression. So I guess I am putting it here for myself as well since I might not be able to find it otherwise. PS: I found the movie worth watching. So if you get a chance to see it give it a shot.
See below the quote for the link to the website.
Quote:
Imagine being in crisis
and not knowing where to turn
You are panicked, short of breath, and the pain is so palpable that you cannot feel or think about anything else. The terror of picking up the phone to call a hotline not knowing who will answer prevents you from doing so. Or, even if you have the courage to pick up the phone, the sound of the person's voice scares you and you hang up. We know this happens because over 30% of all people who call suicide hotlines do just that—they hang up as soon as they hear the human voice.
More importantly, we recognize the technological age we find ourselves in today and we know that millions of people in crisis will never pick up the phone. We believe that IMAlive is part of the solution to the problem. IMAlive is a live online crisis network that uses instant messaging to respond to people in crisis. People need a safe place to go 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
__________________
NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
I remember thinking like that too, in my twenties....I'm glad someone convinced me to see what tomorrow bought because I would have missed out on all the amazing, unexpected and wonderful things that have happened to me since....
I think we're all wonderful beautiful amazing...and unique...
There's not another cassievee.
Everyone is worth saving IMO
D
__________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu
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thanks for this but not sure my life is worth saving
I've read some of your other posts. You seem to be a very kind, generous person. You are a light shining on the rest of the world and no doubt others have been bathed in your wonderful glow. It would make a lot of people very sad for that light to be snuffed out, nor would you get to find out what gifts you have left here in this life. I've been where you are more times than I can count, doubting my continued existence. There was always one small thing to look forward to, even if it was a CD or movie coming out. There's always one thing to look forward to. Find it and hold onto it. Stay sober and and use this site as much as you need for support. Things do get better, much better.
__________________ “You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
-Ray Bradbury
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thanks for this but not sure my life is worth saving
I recently went through several months feeling the same way. I know how tiring, how much of a struggle, how hard it is just to breathe when going through these times. I was very much ready to end things. But as always with these times the rain slowed down and the clouds started to clear.
I know when I am in it I feel like it will never end, that I will never feel any different, that it truly is not worth going on. But there is a reason you reached out here. That indicates to me that you do want help, you do want to find an answer, that somewhere deep inside of you there is a part of you that knows you are worth saving. Keep reaching out. Try one of the hotlines or even the online chat listed below. The worst thing that can happen is they don't help but what if they would help and you never even tried? I encourage you to hang on and keep reaching out.
__________________
NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
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Unfortunately I can't post links as I don't have enough posts! That is such a stupid rule, I'm trying to help people here..grr!
Student Depression is UK based website that is targeted at students but is helpful for anyone with depression. (it will come up when you google it)
CBT therapy is helpful for treating depression-its scientifically proven to work. There have been a lot of studies done on it. It focuses on the here and now, not the past. It is very practical, you have to learn the techniques and then do homework ie do exercises on the theory and practice the skills in your real life.
You can do it with a book (as shown below) or with a therapist but the CBT therapist is only a guide helping you along, you have to do the work and put in the time. You definitely get out what you put into it. One of the AA slogans "it works if you work it" would also apply to CBT. It's not a magic wand, it requires practice, practice, practice but it does get easier the longer you're doing it.
Useful slogan for anyone feeling suicidal "this too shall pass"
You feel suicidal right now, like you can't take anymore. You feel overwhelmed. I understand, I've been there too. But thafeeling WILL pass, it won't last forever. You will be happy again. You might not think you will but there IS help out there...your GP (doctor) should be your first port of call. Therapy or medication and therapy should be past of your treatment plan.
I find the AA slogans really useful for depression too: "one day at a time" (when you feel overwhelmed), "first things first" (do the most important thing first, priortise, break a big task into smaller bits so you don't feel as annoyed). If you're annoyed about something, ask yourself "how important is it"
CBT book "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David M. Burns
helpful for people with depression, anxiety primarily.
Also interview skills, beating procrastination, communication skills, public speaking.
(available on amazon dot com)
11-29-2004, 12:39 PM
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