If You Are Feeling Suicidal

[Forums Team]

Given the recent upsurge in people either admitting to a suicide attempt or feeling very suicidal can I just remind everyone that, although we care we are *not* trained in counselling. The best option is to contact a doctor, psychiatrist, crisis support line or go to your local hospital for assistance.

I know it is difficult when you feel this low but please do use the services available for you when you are at crisis point. We have many members struggling with depression and posts that discuss suicide can be a trigger for others. We will remove posts at our discretion for this reason. Please do not take this as rejection. It is our way of protecting everyone here.


Read this first ...If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this.


And this.. ...Keep Reading

More Resources

How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.

Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.

The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.

Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.

Other online sources of help:

• The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.

• Suicide Hotlines by Country http://www.befrienders.org/

• Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how.
  
  
  
  
  
• Depression support group online:
  
  Walkers in Darkness - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.
  
  
  
  
• Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.
  
  
  Pandora's Aquarium, an online support group, message board, and chat room for survivors rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse.
  
  http://www.welcometobarbados.org/pandoras.html
  
  
  Suicide Forum - A support forum for people in crisis
  
  http://www.suicideforum.com/
  
  Depression Forum
  
  http://www.depressionforums.org/
  
  bus web board-recovery for self abuse
  
  http://buslist.org/phpBB/
  
  Sex Addicts Anonymous
  
  http://www.sexaa.org/
  
  http://saa-recovery.org/online.htm
  
  http://www.slaaonline.org/Boards.html
  
  
• Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.
  
  
  
  
  
• If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor.
  
  
  
  
  

Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you.

• Suicide: The Forever Decision by Paul G. Quinnett, PhD (Continuum, 1989, $8.95, ISBN 0-8264-0391-3). Frank and helpful conversation with a therapist who cares. Order the book
  
  
  
  
  
• Choosing to Live: how to defeat suicide through cognitive therapy by Thomas E. Ellis PsyD and Cory F. Newman PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 1996, $12.95, ISBN 1-57224-056-3). Another conversational book with practical help for suicidal persons. Order the book
  
  
  
  
  
• How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention by Susan Rose Blauner (William Morrow, 2002, $17.47, ISBN 0066211212). A very practical survival guide by an actual survivor. Order the book
  
  
  

[historyteach]

If you are thinking about

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It
will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your
bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional -
only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know
that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can assume
that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your
life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this
moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But
since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so
I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you
might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this
short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five
simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't argue with
you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are
thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you to
stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you're at
least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or
not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the
deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and
normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still
a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the
same time some part of you still wants to live. So let's hang on to that,
and keep going for a few more minutes.

Start by considering this statement:

Suicide is not chosen; it happens

when pain exceeds

resources for coping with pain.

That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or
flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really
want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you
can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you
will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much
you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of
course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.

Don't accept it if someone tells you, that's not enough to be suicidal
about.・There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether
or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might
be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at
which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping
resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to
withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the
result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character;
it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things:

(1) find a way to reduce your pain, or

(2) find a way to increase your coping resources.


Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

• You need to hear that people do get through this -- even
  people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a
  very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this
  information gives you some sense of hope.

• Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, I will wait 24 hours
  before I do anything.・Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions
  are two different things - just because you feel like killing
  yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this
  minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal
  action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5
  minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes
  by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you
  still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very
  encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

• People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from
  pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it.
  You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

• Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either
  because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your
  pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing
  thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are
  about their fears, not about you.

• But there are people out there who can be with you in this
  horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a
  hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply
  care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week,
  and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:

• Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans
  
  
• Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S.
  
  
• Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine,1-800-999-9999
  
  
• Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
  
  
• Call a psychotherapist
  
  
• Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen
  

But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with
this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an
awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping
resource you need to regain your balance.

Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they
subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really
good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your
community and on the Internet.

Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really glad.

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you
should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give
yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the
page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping
resources than you have pain. So let's give you another coping
resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best
coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If
you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling
and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping
resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the
last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from
you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.

Now: I'd like you to call someone.

[pedagogue]

National Suicide Hotlines USA

Toll-Free / 24 hours a day / 7 days a week

1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-273-TALK
1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-8255

1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
Deaf Hotline

-p

[historyteach]

Thanks, Pedagogue!!!

Shalom!

[Morning Glory]

Given the recent upsurge in people either admitting to a suicide attempt or feeling very suicidal can I just remind people that, although we care and will try to help if we can, the best option is to contact a doctor, psychiatrist, crisis support line or go to your local hospital for assistance.

I know it is difficult when you are this low but please do use the services available for you when you are at crisis point. We have many members struggling with depression and posts that discuss suicide can be a trigger for others. We will remove posts at our discretion for this reason. Please do not take this as rejection. It is our way of protecting everyone here. Please feel free to send a private message to a moderator for additional assistance.

Read this first ...If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this.

Keep Reading A reason... to live or to die.

A little more reading Give yourself today

Locate Services

Crisis Intervention


How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.

Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.

The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.

Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.

Other online sources of help:

• The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.

  
  
  

• Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how.

  
  
  

• Depression support group online:
  Walkers in Darkness - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.

  
  
  

• Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.

  
  
  

• Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.

  
  
  

• If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor.

  
  
  

Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you.

• Suicide: The Forever Decision by Paul G. Quinnett, PhD (Continuum, 1989, ISBN 0-8264-0391-3). Frank and helpful conversation with a therapist who cares. Order the book

  
  
  

• Choosing to Live: how to defeat suicide through cognitive therapy by Thomas E. Ellis PsyD and Cory F. Newman PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 1996, ISBN 1-57224-056-3). Another conversational book with practical help for suicidal persons. Order the book

  
  
  

• How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention by Susan Rose Blauner (William Morrow, 2002, ISBN 0066211212). A very practical survival guide by an actual survivor. Order the book

  
  
  

[historyteach]

Thank you, MG!!!
This is such an important subject, and the information is so important to have available. I appreciate all the help there is!

Shalom!

[historyteach]

The Burns Suicide Checklist:
The Burns Depression Checklist
A checklist to monitor your symptoms.

It contains questions about your thoughts and feelings; actions and personal relations; physical symptoms and suicidal urges. Finally, it has a guide based on your answers, for determining the severity of your depression.

Take the test; print it out and bring it to your doctor or therapist, if necessary.

Shalom!

[nandm]

He (Kurt Cobain, lead singer of Nirvana) had made it big but didn't feel good about himself, and that's what suicide is all about. He had everything but self-worth." --Margaret O'Neil, executive director of the Boston office of The Samaritans.

Suicidal Thoughts

Do you ever think about specific ways of killing yourself or hope that you don't wake up in the morning? In the deep stages of depression or grief, death may seem to be the only way out of an intolerable situation, spiritual estrangement, or an isolated and loveless existence.

There's been much speculation about the reasons for contemplating suicide. It can be used as a cry for help, be perceived as a romantic gesture of self-renunciation, can come across as a spiteful act of supreme vengence, or simply be a response to self-hatred and low self-worth. But the reality about suicide is that it's never a tidy solution. Suicide tosses life aside like so much trash. It's not an act of courage, but one of supreme selfishness. A suicide says, "The gift of life is valueless because I could not deal with my problems or ask for help in handling them."

Suicide doesn't always result in swift, painless, and sweet oblivion. Many times the attempt gets botched, resulting in pain, difigurement, guilt, and humiliation. Or death comes days, weeks, or even years, later due to infections, permanent organ damage, or painful corrective surgery.

Instead of deciding that the only way to relive you misery is through suicide, consider at this moment that there might be another way. Don't abandon life---change it! Call a hotline, a therapist, or a trusted friend. Know that there are better ways to relieve your pain.

Give Life A Chance: I Give Me A Chance.

From Facing Life's Challenges
By Amy E. Dean
January 16