my story

[angel08955]

i was in 10th grade when my granpa died. that summe ri had not been the best person to him, he went back down to florida and had a heart attack. he survived that only to die of sepis a few weeks later. i blamed myself for it and i got very depressed. i tried to kill myself a few times. thigns were going better, but then my friends and an ex boyfriend of mine started to treat me bad. i started to get more depressed but thanks to a friend i am on my way up. i still get down when things get rough and lately with ym cousin i've found myself bottleing things up. i dunno if it is b/c i am getting depressed again or if i am just scared to tell people how i feel for fear of them worrying.

[Ten Chips Down]

Trish,

I see you all over the place in just 12 posts. Reaching, reaching, reaching. Well, now _I_ finally spotted you. (And I know you're all over because I just did a profile search, hope you don't mind. )

And this --> ((this)) <-- is a hug in case you didn't know. I like this one best tho: That's for you. And so is this ((((trishie)))) And Happy Halloween and stuff.

The best that I can glean is that you suffer from depression (intermittant and situational), being the loved one of an addict (your cousin), and I guess you have had some sort of eating disorder?

I'll check again, but right now the biggest hindrance I see to your truly getting better is a reticence to share with others. You MUST talk, Trish. You've got to go to the right people (ppl who are well and sober and blah blah blah - you get the idea) and spill.

This is a good start though, sharing on SR.

You worry is aimed in the wrong direction. You can't do that, ok? You've got to practice puting you first.

TenChips

[angel08955]

Thanks. life right now is just throwing me so much. I don't know anymore what to do.