Plastic Surgery For My Brain

[Don W]

Last week I posted about the program I'm going through at the V A Hospital in Brocton, Mass. I made a statement that the program was working but, wasn't sure how to decribe it. I have an overnight pass this weekend and was traveling home. I was thinking about my week and the " Who Am I" I had to write in the program. We told about our life and our feelings. I'm sure you can identify with bringing to mind past experences. I mentioned that it was like someone turned my body inside out, scraped the infection off and turned me back. I have re-thought this. What I believe I'm going through, and maybe you are too, is Plastic Surgery for my brain. Like a plastic surgeon identifys and inspects scare tissue and removes it so the scare no longer exsists. Now, we know for the rest of our lives, at one time we had, say a scar on our face. However, it no longer shows in the mirror. That is sort of what is taking place in my life right now. Little by little the counselors are identifing the scar tissue in my brain. Although painful, like any other cosmetic plastic surgery, the pain seems to be short term but, the long term benefits far out weigh that pain. Each day the program removes some scar tissue, and I wish I hadn't done it becaue of the initial pain. However, today I looked in the mirror and I didn't see some of the scars I knew were once there. I totaly understand that this is going to take a number of surgerys. This past week, for example, the sars of sexual abuse were really identified and I don't see them as scars today. I know they were once there, and for years I was ashamed and embarrased and tried different methods to cover them with cosmetic solutions. I truly believe that if I stick this program out, and I hope this holds true for you, that little by little the plastic surgery for my brain, that I'm going through will change my appearence. Not to others but, to myself. Many of these scars were only seen by myself. Others, were only exposed to the cosmetics I used to hide them. Many cases anger, that kept you from getting close enough to see them. I just have to understand that this will require many surgerys. However, I have decided to go through these surgeys and I hope you will also. Don W

[cwohio]

((donw)) so glad to hear you are sticking with it - even thru the painful "surgeries"!!!

[Morning Glory]

It's a painful process Don, but it's worth it. It takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing. I felt trapped in the Twilight Zone for awhile, but it finally leveled out. Keep going till you get there.

Hugs,
MG

[margo]

(((((Don))))) Thank you so much for your very eloquent post - I was very moved by it. Bless you, Don - you deserve to be well.

[Don W]

Thank you all. Morning Glory, I just want to tell you that so many times in classes they repeat the things you've mentioned. On a number of occasions I say, " That's what Morning Glory said." I can tell you all that when I'm going through difficult sessions, I don't feel I'm alone. I've got all my wonderful SR friends on my side. Don W