Is this part of recovery?

[skyjade]

I visited this site last summer as my girlfriend and I quit drinking together, after about 7 months of nonstop drinking together. I am back because not only did we both begin again, but we ended up worse than before and badly wanting to stop. We never really started drinking again until the holidays when me and my two girls moved in with her and her son. I started a new job and we got settled in. However, she doesn't work, so little by little she became bored and found herself drinking again. The same happened for me. The past month has been terrible for us. Lots of hangovers, petty arguements and bad karma involving booze. So, after each of us had seperate bad incidents last week, we've put the cork in the bottle again. However, she is going on a week sober, I'm on day #5 and I'm having more trouble than she is. Not that I want to drink, but I can't sleep, I'm irritable, depressed and feel very insecure and doubting of everything all of a sudden. Without going into every boring detail; is this normal behavior and part of recovery? I don't remember being this mentally distraught last time. Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks

[SaTiT]

it's part of your recovery and lots of peaple ..I myself and my other
half included. Good lord..you don't even want to know what we've losted.
And the damn wreackage. I love my Gf very much and this damn disease
had destroyed and hurt both of us so, so, so , freanken much.
I'm basically out of my freaken mind half of the time and she's
lost in space somewhere. And no matter how much we both
love one other.....crazy sheit happens when alcohol gets involved.

It's normal that it dose get worst no matter what you do if you continue
drinking. it's a progressive dis-ease. And your new job, new place to
live, new surounding didn't cured you. And you know....when life
gets a little better, us alki or peaple still new in the program, just
go out and celebrate in the old fashsion way. And it's normal of the
chaos and insanity that's going on. Unmanageable as stated in step #1.
And it;s normal that you'll depress cause the living situation just ain't
so sweet at the moment , Plus alcohol being a depressent makes both
of you more depress. An abyess..a living hell sort of speak.
And it's a damn bottomless pit if we don't stop.
And yes, i was in a total fog the last time I relapse.
I just gone off my rockers cuz my Gf relapsed for the past year or so.
It hasn't been pertty.

I don't know all the answers....just go back to a meetings
the both of you. Just don't drink anymore no matter how much it hurts
cause as much as it hurts, now....It'll hurt even more if it continue.
I know you want to numb out. Nobody is going to judge you or her.
Go to meetings even if she dosen't go.

I pray for the both of ya

[skyjade]

Thanks for the reply. It makes sense, with booze being a depressant. I will give it a while more and try to remain positive.
Thanks again.

[SaTiT]

Hang in there. Keep up the posistives.
it's a roller coater. Don't try to make too much sense or figure things out
at the moment. It's a fog and it won't be clear no matter what you do.
Just try to get some rest. You're still detoxing and going thur withdraws.

Yeap...if booze/drugs is in the equation. it dosen't matter what other
aspects we do. The results remains the same. With booze out of the equation...will things or the results might be different or change.
or at least we have a chance.

Just keep coming back, no matter what.
There's lot of great peaple here and in recovery that cares and
can help you. You don't have to this alone
Keep reaching out.
Take it oneday at a time or even a half a day at a time if you
can go a full day. or even an hour at a time.

God bless.

[skyjade]

Thanks for the words. Today's been a strange day for me. Yesterday was as well, but today seems a little rougher. A lot of feelings of wanting to change so many things so quickly. Wishing I had a better job, more money, and the old standby of questioning if I'm making the right decision with my gal. I've always been a little insecure in that area anyway. She certainly isn't the problem, but I sometimes think things would be easier for her and better if we split. Not that I want to, but I wonder if for her we should. Great day today, huh?

[SaTiT]

I know it's hard to hit bottom, belive me, my life is not so rosies at the moment. Through our failures is our virtue.

There's tools to help us through these hard times and when life
dose get good again. The simple graditute list.
It's hard as heck to be greatful for anything when it's not all we had hope for.
But when life gets good again, we shall remain greatful and not **** it away.

Graditude can not be bought...This has to be earn or work
on by each indiviual. It works if you work it.

Though this process we also gain greater awearness.
There's so, so much that we taken for granted.
We have so much already.
Our health, our ability to just type these words.
We're still alive. A simple warm shower and food in the frigg.
Still employed...it's still better than not having any type of income.

Graditute also works in the same way as our dis-ease.
The progression is reverse. The more we are grearful for the more we have.
But no one can pick up the 2 ton pen or pencil and make that simple list.
It has to come from with inside of us. And it can be the hardest thing to
do. This was one of the first thing I was ask to do, just make a simple
graditute list, but it was also the hardest thing I had to to.
It also helps us get knock off of that depression or rut. We start claiming
out of that hole we dugged.

SR has also set up a section especially for this. You might want to
check it out.
That's how come it's being humble or humility...not to be confuss with
humiliated.

We humble ourselve to do the simple conry graditute list.
becuase it just seem so, so stupid and how can this list get our lives
better ? Things happens in recovery that's way beyound my comprehensions.lol

[Grimnar]

That is some badass writing there SaTiT; I really liked reading that. You have a great way with words.

skyjade, I hope things improve with you and your lady.

[skyjade]

Perhaps it gets better and easier every day....I will continue to be positive. We have talked several times each day (she's due home tomorrow) and we've encouraged each other on not drinking. In fact, it's the first thing we ask! I am reassured this will be easier doing this with her than without, as well as easier for her there with me. Such a beautiful day today outside. 44 and sunny here!

[backtoameeting]

whauups up i hope ur still sober and ur mine is clearing that the hole thing ur mine is foggy write now and just my be angry that u went back for me staying sober mean staying in the program laughing alot at myself and others go dancing live sober.