sponsorship

[scaryclownguy]

My sponsor was supposed to meet with me two days ago and did not show up. So I called, he did not answer I left him a message, today he called me back and said that he woke up late. This is reasonable, but why didn't he call me sooner? I was working so I told him that I'd have to call him back later, and he said that would be fine. Well I did and he did not answer, nor has he called me back. His what seems to me to be a lack of accountability is frustrating. I would like to think that there is a logical explaination for this sort of behavior, but I can't for the life of me figure it out. I need to know that if something happens and I need him to be there that he will. This behavior is not real reassuring to me.

[best]

A logical explaination .... He may have taken on more then he can handle.
Good intentions, poor planning. It can be as simple as that.

This behavior is not real reassuring to me.

I would think it isn't as well.
You may be a person who holds fast to their commitments, he may be more relaxed or maybe in need of more growth in that area...Or just to busy and in denial of how busy he may be.

Need to remember that sponsors are volunteers and one sponsor may be stronger in his own recovery then the next. You may be as much of a help to him as he can be for you.

If things don't work out, you can always seek another sponsor as well.

Remember... we are all in this together. We are proffesionals only because of our schooling...the school of hard knocks.
Unpaid in cash, volunteers. Paid richly in what we get from helping others but still volunteers all the same.

What Best said. And welcome to SR SCG, I hope you stay awhile!

[scaryclownguy]

Thank you, Ijust feel like if he is yelling about willingness and accountability that he ought to be "practicing what he's preaching." I don't want to give up on him, but I need to be able to count on him to do what he says. And if something comes up thats fine, but let me know.

[buhda]

I know the feeling my sponser gets mad at me too. he says I dont call enough but when you never get a answer it gets old to try its not like I normally dont see him I see him about three times a week. If he shows up at the meetings or bowling sometimes I dont go to the same ones I am tired of lead meetings I havebeen going to alot of discussion meetings to listen and learn someones drunk log just doesnt do it for me.
I have found that i learn to listen , listen to learn more at discussion meetings and they make me feel good when I leave .

Well back to sponsors give him a chance try to sit down and talk to him if that doesnt work try to get a hold of his sponsor your grand sponsor andtalk to him I have found that this is a good way to find out whatis honestly going on. Well good luck with it I have 11 1/2 months sober and this program has brought me a long way from going to jail a year ago for my 7 th dui. i finnally got the program and listen and understand. Aaron

[scaryclownguy]

I appreciate your suggestion. Actually we got into a heated debate 2 days ago, but it worked out. He just started to sponser me about a month ago, and keeps saying "I made this decission for you." He'll demand that I do something and while I am willing to take suggestions and maybe a few damn well betters, I am not taking demands from someone that can't even return phonecalls. I spoke with his sponser about what was happening and he said that we both had alot to learn, and this was a great oppurtunity to grow. My sponser hasn't really had a sponsees with more than a couple months and I have 15 months, and by now it ought to be apperant to him that I am willing to take some action. I do enjoy what my sponser has to offer and I am getting to know myself pretty well, and I like most AA,s don't take to well to someone trying to run my life.

[best]

Guided suggestions

Look at anything he demands as, guided suggestions.

Thing is though... If he knows what he is talking about, his suggestions should be worked through as you demand from yourself.

Sounds like you are helping him as much as he may be helping you.
Good for you.
You are getting two for one.